A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why cant my boyfriend understand that every time he spends his money that he cant account for and comes back picking for a fight when i have little cash of my own to spare, that this creates a problem for me. I am not well off and probably have less cash to spend on myself than he does ,so why does he expect me to fund him.I am a kind person and will help many people out but when they cant see that i am going without to make sure they are alright then i feel takenfor granted and this is not a good feeling for me.Its only small money but i go without to spare it.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 September 2015):
 So did you work out why he was expecting you to fund him? And how to manage his expectations?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 August 2015):
Why can't he understand that your budget can't absorb his demands?
There are a couple of possibilities.
He's very selfish and only thinks of himself.
He's rather ignorant, can't be bothered with maths and assumes that you will take care of him when his funds are low.
He just doesn't have a clue.
He just doesn't care.
Why does he pick a fight? I expect because in the past it resulted in you providing the cash he wanted.
I'd just start saying "sorry, love, I'm all tapped out, I was about to ask you for some help with my bills!" Every time. Every single time. "I'm strapped for cash and need help!"
In fact, start heading him off and start asking for cash on the day before he normally does.
Have you considered that life might be better or more worthwhile without him in it? Is he a wonderful person with a spending problem? Or is he a selfish git with an entitlement complex?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 August 2015):
 So stop doing things you feel you can't afford?
I'm a little unsure what you mean with your post. Do you mean that when it's your turn to pay, you pay, but when it's his.. he has no money or what?
What exactly does he expect you to fund? His bills?
Time for you to make a budget... and stick to it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015): No,honeypie i am very good at saying no to him and i have said no to others in my lifetime. I have also fought my corner over this but he just blanks me on it.I am flattered by the notion that he pays to take me out but this is not the case.We share alternate weekend expenses and then he blows his money elsewhere and i pay my bills and have a very small amount left for myself.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2015):
 I think he understands it perfectly !, he just does not give a damn about it. It's not lack of understanding, it's lack of concern.
Between you having to go without, and him having to go without, he has no doubt what's the better solution.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 August 2015):
My guess?
Because you give in and give him money.
If you keep telling him no, I can't give you any money. And if you PAY for yourself when going out, he will eventually stop asking because all he gets is a no.
You are being taken for granted because they KNOW you can't say no to people.
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