A
female
age
30-35,
*empz
writes:Hey, i keep having multiple dreams everynight of my boyfriend cheating on me, with close friends and sometimes total strangers and partys,, Also the thung is, he's going clubbing in broadway like next week;; And ive got a crazy feeling thats when he's gunnah cheat on me. i Do trust him, im jus insecure after such crisis's with men, when i was 14 i was sexually attacked,, and felt weird seeing chaps after that. But i fell for him suddenly after ive known him for years, but he had moved to australia when he moved back, he started chatting, chatting lead to meeting, then he stopped at mine one night, and we just had pure chemistry, after that, he visited me everyday, and was ther when i needed him the most, and he tells me he loves me all the time. But these dreams arnt helping. he's really possessive over me, buh he has a good reason to be. but after i have these dreams i wake up,, and if he's lying next to me, he will say, "its okay babe, just cuggle up to me" but i cant bring myself to touch him.. ive told him about a few of these dreams, but he just laughs and says " that will never happen, ill never cheat on you" But i really don't know what to do at all.. Please help me.
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (22 August 2008):
 I'm guessing the person who attacked you was somebody close to you at the time; somebody that you trusted. This is the reason why you have these feelings and they are not a reflection on him, they are a reflection of how your trust was violated at the time of this attack; an echo of your past if you like. Similarly you cant touch him after these dreams for the same reason.
Dreams are a representation of your subconscious mind so they come from the damage that was done to you there. Obviously your fear of your trust being broken again is deep-seated and that is only natural after such an experience. These are hard to shift and it takes time and in some cases professional therepy. Reading your question I have to say you would benefit from some form of counselling in my opinion. You need to bring these emotions out into the open so you can begin to deal with them.
You need to stop dismissing them as 'crazy'; they aren't, they are a perfectly natural reaction to what happened and you need to accept that to begin to move on. If you aren't willing to go to counselling then you need to at least start talking to other people about how you feel; id suggest your parents.
Good luck :)
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