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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of two years proposed to me last November. AFter the Engagement Announcement was posted in the paper I received a call from a woman who confessed that last Oct. or Nov. she had an affair on her husband and it was with my fiance'. My fiance confessed that this was true and that it happened before he proposed and before he made a total committment to me (we had been lving together for a year at this point). He met her on a chat room to ensure that it would never be found out. It was a one time deal. We are in couples therapy right now. He is very regretful of what he has done. The wedding is three months away. I am so stressed out right now I cannot even think straight on this. Any immediate advice greatly appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2005): First, try to relax. Don't get anxious even though the wedding is close. You need to decide on a few things. Only you can make the ultimate decision, that is if you should continue with your relationship, or end it. Do you feel like you can trust him now that you know the truth? Do you love him despite of what you know? Remember too, that he did not have to tell you. But did he tell you out of guilt or because he really wanted to start your relationship with the truth? My advice to you, is that you work on your relationship (if you are sure you can trust him) find out if anything was lacking in the relationship that made him feel like he needed to look elsewhere, find out why he proposed to you was it out of guilt, or because he realised that he really did not want to spend the rest of his life without you. True love is rare,don't let it slip away.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2005): Postpone the wedding. You are not in an emotionally fit state to get married. It will be painful, but it will be better than going through with and regretting a terrible mistake. Your fiancee has been deceitful and lied to you. He actively sought to hurt you. You must be feeling terribly betrayed, confused and if the relationship is to continue, he must work towards rebuilding your trust.
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (11 July 2005):
Postpone the wedding!Sounds to me like he knows he made a mistake with this woman and proposed to you out of guilt.Do you think that he is ready for total commitment? doesnt sound like it to me, carry on with the therapy.
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