A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so i need some insight on what to do..my ex boyfriend and i dated for almost 3 years..since we broke up we have been on and off..hooking up acting like a couple but not really a couple..i think he has commitment issues he keeps saying we dont work we are "different people" but yet we still end up together we have a close bond (or so i thought)..so i havent heard or seen him in almost 3 weeks..i didnt call him fist because i figured ill let him be.. i dont want to chase after him..the other day i saw pictures of him hanging out with a group of people partying and there was a pic of him and another girl hanging out..i am not sure if he is seeing someone else but it certainly looks like it..should i email him and tell him off and say how can he totally blow me off like i am nobody..or should i just not talk to him ever again? but then i feel like he gets off easy if i dont confront him???i dont get how he can tell me he loves me a month ago then just stop contact with me just like that..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): i appriciate all of your answers!!..
yes i know he is my EX but we were sort of still "together" in a way.. i was under the impression he wanted to work things out with me..i guess i was wrong
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (24 July 2013):
 He's your EX boyfriend. You have no right to tell him off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): I get it. I'm going through the same thing, almost as if I wrote this myself. My husband decided to end the marriage yet he was still hanging around and saying I love you. Then would say we don't work. It's confusing as hell and hurtful, but I think your ex boyfriend does love you in some capacity and is comfortable with you so he was still wanting to be around you. But at the same time he knew it wouldn't work out so he is wanting to move on. You need to be the strong one here and let him go. Don't text or email him anything. It just shows you are still so very into him when clearly he is moving on, it makes you look sad and doesn't hurt him in the slightest. In fact it just boosts his ego. You are just angry and you want to hurt him like he hurt you. Be the better person and let him go. Nothing you can say or do to him will make you feel any better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): You gotta be kidding... he broke up with you, he doesnt owe you the time it takes to even think of you anymore. Yes this kinda makes him a jerk to be still hanging out with you so much and carrying on like he's got a relationship with you still, but the fact is, he doesn't have a relationship with you anymore, he's only hanging out with you because he didnt (yet) have anyone else to hang out with.... and now he does, so he doesnt need you anymore.Please move on, don't say blow up at him, you're his EX not his girlfriend. That means he's not blowing you off...blowing you off would be if you mattered, but you don't matter...ur an EX.I think the best thing for you to do would be to adopt his stance as well. Get it through your head that what he's doing doesnt matter, why?, because he's an ex and either really dense or selfishly insensitive, now go find new ppl to hang out with. Don't sacrifice ur dignity, just drop him, don't contact him, don't let him use u as a fall back girl when this girl he wants doesnt work out, you deserve better.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 July 2013):
 You write: "...or should i just not talk to him ever again? but then i feel like he gets off easy if i dont confront him???..."
I vote for this. Don't confront him... don't tell him what a jerk he is, and how he's leaving from the best thing he was ever going to have....
We guys are funny creatures... we live ONLY for the pleasure of our penises.... and we will do all sorts of outlandish things in that pursuit....
IF, you and he were intimate in those times that you "...on and off..hooking up acting like a couple but not really a couple...." then you fell in to a traditional "guy" trap of being his available lay... and no more....
Learn from this terrible experience... remember what I've told you about guys... and go out there and live the rest of your life.... (But, don't let men take advantage of you, as this guy has!!!!)....
Good luck....
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