A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay well i have this BIG problem Its really complicated and hard to explain but its a tricky love triangle basically.Well i'll start from the beginning... Me and my Best friend work at the same place, and theres this guy at work i REALLY like and most people in work know i like him, so his best friend messages me one day saying .. 'the guy you like in work really likes you back and would love to go out with you' i was really happy about this and told his friend how much i liked him and his friend said that she was going to try and hook us up .. i showed my best friend the messages and she was like 'oh wow.. he likes you back thats sooo cool you should so go out with him'sooo.. couple of days ago everyone from work went out for drinks because it was pay day, it was a really good night, but at the end of it .. just as me and my best friend were leaving... some guy (also from work) comes up to me and says.. i know ..so i said to him 'know what?' and he says 'i know you like me' i was really puzzled and told him the real person i liked at work and this other guy (who happens to be 20 years older than me and i have mentioned reminds me of my father)put his head down walked away and just started apologizing so many times so then the guy i liked best friend comes along and says why did you tell S (the olda guy) you dont like him when you do, and i had to explain to her that she had got it completely wrong and it wasnt S i liked it was B... at this point she had felt really bad because she was also trying to set B (the guy i liked) with my best friend... and it turns out that he had faniced my best friend all along and not me and he told my best friend that night that he liked her and she told him that i liked him :( and he said he likes her more ... but my Best friend has always told me how she didnt like B because she said she didnt like his race, the way he looks or the way he acts... HOWEVER when she found out he fancies her now she reckons she really likes him even though shes into this other guy she knows as well, and i feel really embarassed because everyone at work now knows that the guy i really like likes my best friend instead and i feel really bad about myself.. my Best friends alot prettier and im not jealous of her (i really do love her to bits) its just i sort of feel like shes rubbing salt into the wounds abit because she doesnt stop going on about it and now the guy i like doesnt even look at me in work anymore even though we used to talk all the time , and i think he thinks that im stopping my best friend from going out with him but its not like that its because she doesnt know who to choose out of him or this otha guy...... i just feel really shamed in work and really low about myself and dont know what to do....i know it sounds like school problems but im really depressd about this .. i know i'll eventually get over it but i dont know who else to tell (can't exactly tell my best friend) :( please help xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): Thank you for the advice..
To keep you updated by friend has now left the workplace and moved to goa unfortunately it did affect our friendship slightly as we wernt as close qs we use to be ... however now shes. moved to goa i really miss her and the guy himself has been promoted to manager and flirts with all the new girls starting .... i myself am no longer interestd in this guy and am jus waiting for the right guy to come along :/ again many thanks xx
A
female
reader, 33girl +, writes (29 June 2010):
Oh, how awful! I think that every day before I went into work, I would mentally buoy myself up, and try and feel respect and love for myself, and respect for everyone in the workplace, and be very 'giving' when I saw my colleagues, try to feel centred and calm and chat and smile, until hopefully it blows over. If your workplace has a free counselling service, you should definitely use it, as these issues affect your work and are a lot of the reason these services are set up. I hope you all come through this as winners, eventually.
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