A
female
age
30-35,
*989BABY
writes:My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now and we've been having a lot of problems as of recently. Ok well to back track to last year while at work I made a friend (a guy) anyways a day before i told my boyfriend that we were going to be hanging out anyways he said I don't want him over here and I said ok well we are going to the movies anyways (so not a date)(even though the guy was single), the next day i was running late and he came over and sat on the couch and so i sat on the other couch across the room, my boyfriend came home early and flipped out, we got in a huge fight but we made up. ok so now he has been talking about this girl from work saying how she is new out here and she has no friends and me and her should hang out, ok no problem, anyways so on new years i invited her out with us, she never did show. So last weekend i had to be work at 5pm and he got off at 4 anyways he gave her a ride home and she was locked out and he messaged me on facebook saying she is coming over i said ok cool cuz i just cleaned up the house, ok well so she comes over and they sat on the same couch together while i was on the other couch they were sitting up drinking vodka and cranberry juice together, anyways i was getting ready for work and then he was asking her if when he dropped me off did she want to come back? i felt sick to my stomach at that point cuz that seemed all too wrong. While on the way to work i was talking to him about Vegas come to find out he invited her even tho it was suppose to be an all guy trip! ok so when i got out the car she jumped in the front seat and they drove off. well he dropped her off and went home. anyways i asked my co workers who are guys about it and they were putting ideas in my head so when i got home i flew off the handle and we got into the biggest fight!!! anyways i went through his messages and he was talking about making her dinner one day and sending pics back and forth. the day before they were talking about her wanting a home cooked meal and me saying he couldn't cook! because he cant lol. he said it was a joke. I feel like everything he tells me now is a lie because he said how she got invited was because he was telling his other coworker friends about going and he felt bad i was like thats not your responsibility. then he tells me that he doesn't talk to her that much at work only in meetings but how does she get invited to vegas or to our house or even you giving her a ride home if they dont know each other that well. So last night i told him i do not want you talking to her! delete her number and her off your facebook. he said that i was overdoing it. QUESTION IS AM I DOING TOO MUCH OR AM I RIGHT FOR FEELING THIS WAY?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): He's totally wrong...I am guy and you have to be aware if you want to keep your boyfriend ..he's involved with her emotionally ...I wouldn't accept my woman has male friends ..only if they are really bald,short,fat and totally gay. your partner is to your best friend...you did wrong on the past and you fixed yourself....relationship is about 2 people and the third one is too much...don't go after bullshit..that couple can have friends from opposite sex.. talk with him and remember the past situation make him see your point of view and if he doesn't understand you.....think about it...
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You need to trust him or there is no relationship there. Am sorry but you cant tell him he has to delete her number and not talk to her again this is not your decision to make and you have no right in saying this to him. You need to just tell him how you feel about his new found friendship with her and that it is making you feel insecure but when you go down the road of telling a guy what to do he will rebel and do the opposite. This is not a healthy relationship. If you trust him then there should be no problem in letting him have friends that are female however if you feel it is more than that then you need to decide if he is the right guy for you.
Although it might look like am putting all of this on you am not, he also need to take responsibility, he told you that he didnt want your male friend in the house and he flipped when he found that he was this is also behaviour that is out of order. Just because you are both in a relationship doesnt mean that you cant have friends of the opposite sex and you should be allowed to have friends in the house if you want therefore he is just as bad telling you what to do. I think the both of you really need to sit down and talk.
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