A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:random list of facts about a guy and his actions; what do you think they mean? - him and his friend ambushed me while i was coming out of my washroom, and he pushed me up against a wall and shoved his leg between mine so i was straddling him. - he stole my phone and took a picture of himself mooning in my bedroom mirror. - we never hang out alone, then one day he shows up at my door and teaches me to play video games for 6hrs straight. and leaves his ps3 (which is his life!) at my place. - i catch him starring. sometimes he so zoned out he doesnt even notice i'm looking. other times he looks away quickly. and sometimes he just keeps gazing into my eyes for long periods of time, smiling. - when he does something he considers funny or something he will look my way while he's doing it, and get louder. - he randomly showed up, came straight into my room, and brought one of his 5wk old puppies with him and set it on my bed. then proceeded to stand in my doorway watching me play with it, not once saying anything. - i once txted someone to smack him for me (cause he was being a twit), and he told her he liked it and wanted more; that it had to be me who did it and no one else could be around when i did. - if he has his back facing me, he makes excuses to turn around (ie. cracking his back, etc). - he was once going to ask me to go to lunch with him, but upon finding out i was with a friend (who he hates) he said "I want her! not her f*cking tag along" (this msg was relayed to me, he never asked me to my face). though later that night he did take me out drifting in his truck (each of us had a friend with us).- he brings me up in convos with other people; saying how much alike him and i are (we are) and asking friends where i am and how i'm doing. there are countless other random things like that, they lead me to wonder. BUT... - when asked about liking me he either denies it or wont answer straight. (my older cousin once said he was my boyfriend while i wasn't around, and he just stumbled over his words and didn't say yes or no). - he once ignored me for 3 days straight. - he often play fights with my friend; she throws shit at him and he violently throws it back. if i do anything he just glances over at me and smiles (good or bad? i always thought guys teasing girls was flirting).- he doesn't usually start convos with me. - there are times he wont look at me. - he talks about other girls when i'm around. - i'm not his "type" (he's a self confessed 'twig' lover, and i'm definitely curvy). * side note; i live with roomies (who he is friends with) so his coming over isn't uncommon.I just don't know what to think anymore... He's polite, and sweet (not a womanizer like his brother), he makes me laugh often, we're so much alike in all aspects,...I really do like him; I don't know where I stand with him. It's probably hard to asses his actions without knowing him, i understand, but he is far from a player or being after tail. and that's not just me saying that, I know his family and am friends of sorts with his sister (btw, she told me he liked me too. but when she relayed to him that i might like him as well he shrugged it off; like he did with my cousin. this was before the above mentioned happened); all of whom say he is the "sweetheart" of all his brothers.Does he like me (denial)? Am I just a friend? Does he think of me as a sister (he hangs with my older brother sometimes)? I terribly wish I was a mind reader, lol. xo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Sounds like he is possibly immature; these are the kinds of things 15-year-olds do around girls that they like.
Although forcing you against a wall, calling your friend a "f***ing tagalong", and throwing things "violently" at another person are red flags. They indicate that he has a problem respecting women in general and is not able to respect boundaries.
And this could mean that he is only acting when he is "polite and sweet". Which would mean that he's manipulative and controlling and will become emotionally abusive down the road.
If you think it's just immaturity and you're willing to deal with it, ask him out. Just, please, be aware that there are some potential troubling issues about his behavior. Don't make excuses for him if he continues to be disrespectful, or starts trying to control you.
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