A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok...to start off, I don't think many people have gone through this but I really need help. here's the situation: Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now. We are really in love (I know it may seem soon but it's real). Well, we got together ealier this year and two months in to our relationship a girl that he had casual sex with (before me) found out that she was pregnant with his child. It was a big shock to both of us. We were in a crossroads on whether to continue our relationship. She had opted for termination so that pretty much sealed it that we were going to stay together. Well, 3 months laters she says that she didn't want to go through with it so she's keeping the baby. By this time, we've fallen really hard for each other and decided to stick it out. Well, the baby was born yesterday and I knew it was coming but I can't feel anything but sadness. Am I wrong for this? and how can I cheer up to be there for him in his joyous time? He's been really good about reassuring me that evrything will work out, but I can't help but have this sick feeling in my stomach..help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 You have a right to feel sad because this will affect your future happiness. This baby could be a thorn in his side. He may have to pay child maintenance and his love maybe diluted.There are so many unknowns and you do worry about your future. Things are blurred at the moment . In, time they become clearer and you may see clearly.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Dear Anon
I am really really sorry. I understand perfectly what you are going through. You have chosen this route and all you can do is to try and make the best of an impossible situation. And that doesnt necessarly mean you got to be all smiles when he talks about his baby. You are human and the way you feel is how any human being would feel under the circumsatance.
However you need to be there for him show him support because this is the time he need to realise his priorties are going to change which means he must be able to differeciate what you mean to him and what the baby means to him. so be there and dont despaire if u neglet him u might be the one who gets hurt the most because u will be pushing him right back into her casual arms.
Your boyfriend need to understand that its normal for you not be jumping all up with joy, however you need a lot of reassurance from him because believe me a baby changes people it has a way of bringing its parents together and when this happens it will make you feel out, but that doesnt mean you are out of his picture. he loves you not her and thats all that matters.
All the best
Jovial
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