A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need to speak to my boyfriend about something that has previously caused problems in the past in our relationship. The problem is, and it may sound stupid, but I don't know how to tell him. Basically, a girl has messaged me and said that my boyfriend had asked for her number. The message was very much out of the blue and I didn't know what to think of it. She goes on to say how she thought I deserved to know, even though this happened a few weeks ago according to her. I need to speak to my boyfriend about this as it will only be on my mind constantly and I need to know if it is true. I would just like some help or advice on how to approach the situation? What do I say to him? 'We need to talk' or 'there's something I need to get off my chest' I don't know how to put it. I would greatly appreciate some advice and help.Thank you
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 May 2015):
 Do you remember the Seinfeld episode which is titled "It's not you; it's me"? In it, the players reveal that "It's not you; it's me" is a clear lead-in to a breaking up. Well, it's the same with "We need to talk" and "there's something I need to get off my chest."
You can couch your opening any way you wish.... but my recommendation is: "Hunchy-bunchy, you know what I got on my phone text, today? It's a message from some girl who claims that you asked her for her phone number. The inference is/was that this was because YOU SEEM INTERESTED IN HER. Isn't that crazy?"
Then, let the fireworks begin....
Good luck....
P.S. I predict that he'll tell you that he and she are going to carpool to work.... so (they) need to be able to contact one-another......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2015): all the suggestions so far are that the girls might be lying. True, she might be, but how does it benefit her?You really think that as soon as you leave him he'll go running to her? (ps: if he does, he didn't love you that much in the 1st place, if he can get "over" it so quickly...)She might be lying, she might be not. That's not the point. The point is-is YOUR bf lying to YOU or not?That's what you need to find out.pps: I also like the suggestion of trying to find out who the girl is, if possible. Though by msgd I presume you mean on FB, which means he/ some of his other friends mentioned to her that he had a gf (to protect her from getting hurt) and she just found out?ppps: You also say you had this problem in the past? A repeat offender is not worth keeping around in my experience.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (22 May 2015):
 "Hey, you know some random girl texted me a few days back telling me that you'd asked for her number. Look, here's the message. What do you think about it"?
However, first things first, try and identify the number if you can. Run it through Truecaller, more often than not you get results.
Don't confront him, don't use an accusatory tone, don't imply anything....just ask him. See what he says. Observe his reactions. Remember, the random girl isnt quite so random...if she got your number then she must have got it from someone who knows you. So she knows someone in your friend circle. She could be anyone, even someone with a fake number just being mean. Or, it could really be that your boyfriend was up to something.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 May 2015):
 Just tell him:" So this chick Anna texted me to inform me that you asked for her number a few weeks ago and it quite frankly baffles me." Tell him:" To me asking FOR and giving out your number usually means you WANT to talk to someone, or because you are interested in them, so what's up with that?" Ask him;" how would you feel if I gave my number out to other guys? Or asked for theirs?"
Don't make a HUGE deal out of it, but letting him know that YOU know and aren't happy about it, instead of bottling it up. Watch his reaction.
Though you DO know the girl could be lying? Asking for a number of another girl is iffy, but it's not a crime.
He might also lie, so it's up to you to decide if this is something that is NOT OK with you.
TALK to him about it IN person, not over text or the phone.
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