A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently started having sex with one of my friends but I feel like he might think of it as something more than I do, and I really can't bear the thought of hurting him.We were drunk the other week and we ended up having sex. It was weird because I'd never thought of him like that because he's one of my close friends, but it seemed completely normal when it was happening and it wasn't awkward the next day or anything. It's happened like 3 more times since then, always when we are drunk and come back from parties. But I'm scared he's starting to think it's something more than I do, or is getting attached.The other day when we were having sex he said "I love you" during - I put it down to heat of the moment but it still surprised me, because I don't really think I have any romantic intent towards him. I thought we were just having a bit of fun and wasn't really thinking about any sort of emotional thing. He keeps saying things that suggest that we are becoming a couple and that he really likes me. I don't want to lead him on, but he definitely is really keen on me but I'm not sure yet. I don't really want to be in a relationship at this point in my life, but this has all happened so fast. I don't want to lead him on if I don't really want anything, but I don't know whether I haven't given it enough time yet.I can't help feeling guilty because he says things that I can tell are entirely genuine. I had no idea he had feelings for me before but he says things like that I still make him nervous and that he can't believe I'm sleeping with him.I don't know what to do. I could let him down gently, but he's in my close friendship circle and I don't want anything to be awkward, but I don't know if I just haven't given it enough time. Even if I do end up liking him though, he's very intense about it - it feels really early to be saying the things he does.I don't know if I should end it or how or anything - he's in a lot of parts of my life as my friend and I don't want to lose that.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 October 2013):
 You need to sit down with him when you are both sober and dressed and alone and talk about this and make sure he knows you do NOT return those feelings and give him the choice to stop the FWB now.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 October 2013):
 What you really don't want to lose is your scratching post. You are perfectly willing to use his devotion to you to get what you need. On the other hand given time the odds are in his favor. He may be playing this for the big win. While you think you are not ready for a relationship now, he is building intimate connections to you. If he is aware of your feelings he is still making a smart play. Friends make the best lovers.
FA
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