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writes:I am 64 years old, happly married and living in a Mediterranaean Island. My daughter who is 36 is living in Dubin, Ireland with her daughter and her partner. My daughter's partner is probably bipolar and suffereing from other personality disorders.My daughter and her partner have been both unemployed and for 3 years and are now suffering from low self esteem. They refuse all financial help and live on the bread line on dole money which is certainly not enough.They take care of their daughter well becaue she suffers from a congenital condition which has partly been reversed but she still needs further medical attention.My daughter seems very depressed. Her partner is a control freak, has bouts of alcoholism, and is trying to cut off all relationships with me and my wife. He is often angry, has no respect for others, suffers from illusions of normality when nothing in his life is really normal.They refuse all kind of help from us but yet blame us for thier problems.Don't know how to handle this situation as we long to see our grand daughter but we are not allowed to do so now that they have decided not to communicate with us any more.How does one deal with such situations?
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reader, RevMick +, writes (20 May 2014):
 Hi JL27,
If you are concerned about your daughter or grand daughter I would possibly advise seeking a legal solution. See if there is cause for declaring her mother and father unfit to be her guardians.
If your daughter is that much ingrained with her alcoholic, abusive partner, she may well be glossing over some of his problems or outbursts.
A friend of mine, was having similar issues and later it turned out the abusive wife in this case was slapping the child. But, he couldn't see it because she had him wrapped around her finger.
I'm sorry to say, there really is nothing you can do otherwise from a distance, your daughter and her partner have to want to receive help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2014): Perhaps you could try your best to get a message to your daughter to come and visit you with your granddaughter, if that is possible.
Sounds like her and your granddaughter need some space away.
It disturbs me she is isolated from her family, and maybe that is not totally her choice, she is your daughter and you really need to do everything you can to keep communication open.
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