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age
41-50,
writes: As the years go by, as the number of bodily aches add up, as the dream of having a feline I can go home to fades more and more, I often wonder if humanity would be capable of standing on their own two feet. If they would choose the options that 'better' the security and welfare of the greater whole and 'surrendering' oneself from purely selfish needs and wants. I have spent countless hours parsing through this web site, amongst a zillion others, reading up on people's choices, namely, blaming others for their misfortunes. The one that stands out the most, would be the one about a person's maturity and how there is apparently an universal rule about that, which none I have personally seen or experienced. Or another about falling for the wife or girlfriend of your best friend. It's mind boggling at best.I came to a conclusion as I drove to my client's office earlier today, that humans are actually really primitive creatures. Indeed, we are much more 'intelligent' compared to other lifeforms on this planet, but we have such a vast diminishing 'quality' about us, that drives us to battle each other and with ourselves - nothing in which other lifeforms do, at least, when it has nothing to do with basic survival. A myriad of questions here on this web site, often ask what one should do, if s/he is in love with someone that already has a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife or often ask what s/he should do when s/he is in love with a best friend's spouse or lover. I put myself in those shoes and the only approach I can think of is: My best friend's lover is my sister. My best friend's wife is my sister. He is one of my life companions. She is an extension to him. To respect my relationship with him, I respect their connection and relationship with each other. Is that not simple logic? There is NO "what should I do?" It's a simple matter of, when their relationship has problems, I WILL be there for him and I will be there to reconnect her with him. Period, regardless of my own personal feelings, unless she is indeed a very bad match for him.-----Why are individuals not dignified in their approach to life? Why must they actively try to 'confuse' themselves with so much drama and hamster-wheel 'logic'? Why must these individuals continue to live blaming others, seeking vengeance and continue to use the vomit of the world to drive themselves? Why could you not just side-step the drama of issues and just look abroad, beyond your little world. I would think that freedom from misery and fermented hatred would be a lot easier to digest as we live to our varying ages. Life is only short, if you don't take the time in admiring the things around you and take the occasional break to look back in your travels. However, life can be very long and arduous if all you seek is to conquer others, without conquering yourself first. Love is such frail mentality, yet it can drive people to such lengths. It is one of the few things in this world, as we live that each individual can hope for, to have, to behold, to exert our passions and feelings onto another person or group of people. Why is it that we must have only one soul mate? Why can you not see that the world holds a set of people that you can connect with? In the little world you live in, it is in no doubt that you may only find 'one soul mate', but in reality, you have not ventured forth into the world far enough to connect with others. Broaden your minds. Open your hearts a bit more. Of course, everyone gets hurt to their varying degrees. No one is exempt from such an ordeal. I too had those experiences. However, to live means we paint our blank canvas from birth through the travels we do, the people we meet, the things we see, touch, listen to... By the 'end' of our journeys, remember that it wasn't solely YOUR life that you lived. It also had to do with others. The life we live, we live with others. Our lives are shared. Those that connect with you with ease and with flow, are the ones that is a part of your story and yours, a part of theirs. Do not think that you must respect others. No, what you 'should' understand is that respect does not happen automatically. It happens as connections become more in-tuned. I do not singularly respect individuals in my friendships. Instead, I respect the connections we share. I believe that is much more important than merely giving respect. Respect is a bond. It is not an automated choice.-----Ultimately, as we strive to 'better' ourselves, we must also take into consideration of others. Indeed, self-happiness can be important, but self-happiness at the cost of the happiness of others, within reason, is inconsideration at best. I rather share an apple pie with others, than to have the bulk of it to myself. I rather give up on a woman, if she can find a better man. I rather dismiss my dreams, to help secure the welfare of my parents. I rather brush aside my feelings for my best friend's wife, to continue to build on our bond together as brothers. I rather set my lover free, than for her to be chained to my insecurities. I rather be alone forever, than to allow others to suffer.What are you willing to do? What can you do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): The only perfect human being was Jesus Christ and he was crucified on a cross.
I give respect to others whether we have a bond or not because that is what I was taught growing up in church to be a disciple of Christ.
I also agree that it is inconsiderate not to put the needs of your loved ones your chosen family over your own. I also think that relationships need to be reciprocal where we can help each other through our insecurities to the other side of self love.
I also believe that sometimes no matter what you are willing "to do" you will fail because you have come upon a person who has severe personality disorders that can confound the most secure and logical person and end up destroying the "do gooder", so not everything or everyone in life is worth sacrificing your personal happiness for.
That is not mean that you have a victim mentality, but that you have a wounded hole in your soul and have to become more self centered and self focused to mend that hole, it would be great if you could reach out to others to help fill that hole, but unfortuneatley it is a lonely solo process.
I find that people are on the same journey, some get it some don't, but I offer my respect to them as fellow human beings.
Thanks for your great thoughts.
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