A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A while ago I had a brief thing with a colleague and friend which ended a bit badly because he led me on and it's still kind of awkward but getting back to normal. He has a good friend at work, and so do I, and we all kind of hang around together as a 4, have been o holiday together etc, things like that. When it all happened I told my good friend because I needed someone to talk to about the situation. When he found out I'd told someone, even though she is very trustworthy, he got angry with me but now is ok. Nobody else at work knows anything and he doesn't want it to get around. However, the other day I was talking one on one with HIS friend who straight out asked me if anything had happened between us. At first I lied and said no but he literally pressed by asking about 14 times and not letting the subject drop and I'm not a very good liar and ended up telling him everything. It felt good at the time to get it off my chest and hear another perspective, and the friend told me he had my back and would under no circumstances let on to the colleague that I had told him. Since then though I have been feeling really guilty that I said anything and terrified that he will find out. I feel like I should have had more respect for his privacy. I'm also worried that now both the friends know the dynamic will not be same. I don't know whether I'm over reacting- should I be feeling so guilty? And if so, what can I do to get rid of it?!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2016):
 Um, OP you CAN tell someone :" It's none of your business"... You said HIS friend pressed you... 14 times... STOP lying and just tell him to butt out of your personal life. IF you tw are friendly enough to go on holidays together... you should be able to tell him, "none of your beeswax".
And YOU are making more drama out of this thing, maybe because you feel strung along or don't like that he rejected you, but if you and the guy you had a fling with have agreed that it's over and let's get back to "normal" you NEED to stop dragging other people into it. you aren't 16.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2016): does this guy have a girlfriend? if so i think you should both come clean and tell her because it isnt fair on her. if her boyfriend is a dirty cheat she needs to know. just imagine if it was the other way around how would you feel if you was her?
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