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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm a little confused about the current relationship situation I'm in and I was wondering whether anyone could help.About 5 weeks ago, I went on holiday with my brother back to the country I was born in. Whilst there,I went to a traditional "party" that was filled with many guys and girls from my culture and I had an amazing time.It was the first one of those parties that I'd been to where I was actually old enough to dance and I was picked to dance with one particular guy. Now this guy, I'd never met him before but I was very strongly attracted to him straight away. Unfortunately, at our parties, the guys and girls are positioned at opposite ends of the room so it made it impossible for me to go up and talk to him. Two days after the party, got his email address from my cousin and finally emailed him.The day that I came back home to the country I live in now, I got an email back. So,we started talking and then started instant messaging and began to get to know eachother really well. I found out that we have sooo many similarities between us, the way we think, the way we behave, our beliefs etc. etc. and I get along with him better than anyone ive ever met. So,naturally,we fell in love but we have 2 major problems. 1: that we live thousands of miles apart and then next time I'll see him is in 5 months when I go back to that country on holiday and 2: our ages. I'm only 16 and he's 22 and in our culture, he should be getting ready to marry soon - and he is.He's told me that if I was with him he'd probably marry me, he loves me so much but I know that probably won't ever happen as long as I'm in this country. And I'll stay in this country for at least another 2 years.Now,do I keep talking to him and maybe start building my hopes for a future with him and expect him to wait for me or do I somehow (God only knows how)let him go?I love him so much (and no,its not just teenage hormones talking ;-) )and I really doubt I'll find another soulmate again....So,any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Katy Smith, writes (22 February 2005): Hi, yes I have been in a similar situation, and what I can say is that the two of you need to wait and see where it goes from there. Although you do have a problem with the distance. For this I would suggest that you maybe see if he wants to come and live in your country and you can invite him as I dont think he can come on his own without any business in the country. So, if he wants to explore and is interested in this country then talk to your parents and get him to come. If your parents do not approve and they dont seem to like him then you dont really have any other option but to just keep the friendship going and see where that takes you latter on in life. Do think that you will not find anyone as such! You will! You are young and there are going to be soooo many boys/men in your life that will knock you off your feet and you will be in love from head to toes! And dont think that Im 30 or 40 years old that I have had experience and so on, I am 16 years old also and I have a long temr boyfriend who I love deeply but I am sure that there will be others in life if I let this one go. Meaning, if (god forbids!!!) our relationship ends for some reason and I will need to move on then I will know deep down that I will find someone else who will treat me the way I want to be treated or even better than I have ever imagined! So please, dont rush into anything, it is clear that he wants a future family but you dont, yet! Even if you might be thinking about it and you might feel that you really want it, you first need to build your life first and start earning a living for yourself and then for a family maybe. Because that is how I feel and everyone tells me it is just the right thing to be feeling at this age!Anyways, Good Luck in talking to your parents because you really do need to tell them about this if you havent so already!xxx
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