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anonymous
writes: I am seeing this lovely guy for the past 3 months. I do care about him a lot, but that's all. I went out with a guy for a year because I didnt want to hurt him by saying I didn't want to see him any more. Why do I stay with someone that I really don't find attractive? Plz help. Reply to this Question
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (9 February 2005):
 Perhaps because you are frightened of being on your own? I guess you feel as if you are missing out on the sizzling passionate side of a relationship and the feeling that you just can't live without them? You need to try and find this for your own happiness.You are a sensitive person who doesn't want to hurt others but in a way you are doing just that by remaining with someone who you care about but don't love.What you need to do is sit him down and explain that although you do care about him, you need to find out what you really want from a guy and that it wouldn't be fair for you to stay with him while you were doing this.Yes, it may hurt him in the short term but it is better to do this then hurt more in the long term.You do need to get out more and get used to also being on your own for a bit so that you know when the real thing comes along. You need to develop sufficent confidence in yourself to realise that being on your own isn't that bad. It will give you time to consider what you really want in a man.I hope this helps.
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