A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have lived in a sexless marriage now for 9 years.Husband had guillian barre which he blames for the problem. have been married 40 years am aged 61 but still feel I have needs, am i normal to want sex? husband will have NOTHING to do with me intimacy wise, he does not accept that although he has no needs I have!! we don't talk about it unless we have a row as he will not discuss it although he has undergone some tests to discover why he has the problem, nothing was found to be wrong. over the time we have been married he has had affairs,i have stuck by him, am I mad? the last affair was by 'texting' a woman despite us moving abroad to start a new life.If we have a row and this subject arises he can become quite aggresive. Please someone advise me
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male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 Guillain Barre is a rare disorder which attacks the nervous and immune systems. I am no medical expert, but I believe that most people who have it make complete recoveries.
Some do not, or have minor muscular abnormalities for a few years afterwards.
I think that after 9 years this is a weak excuse that your husband is making, unless he still needs respiratory aid, or continues to suffer symptoms.
I am willing to bet that he felt 'less' of a man when he was first diagnosed, but I am not sure how and why he feels this should be affecting him now.
You need to explain to him that the complete lack of intimacy is making you feel unloved and unwanted. Try to convey to him that hugs, kisses etc, do not HAVE to lead to sexual intercourse, even though you might want it to!
I would think that in the 9 years, your husband has not stopped masturbating, if he is still able to.
If you feel comfortable enough, you should think of doing the same, and SLOWLY get him involved in your pleasure.
If he has any feelings for you at all, he should WANT you to feel pleasure.
Any man worthy of the name would!
Talk to him, and make him aware that you still want him sexually. If he is determined to remain the same way, then there is a problem.
I do not agree with you having an affair, or getting divorced, but I do feel you deserve a life filled with pleasure.
Your husband needs to step up, especially after having affairs himself.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Hmmm ... so what it really comes down to is: stay with a man that does not treat you with love, kindness and respect, but offers financial stability ... or leave it all behind, for the hope (but no promise) of happiness?'''
I LOVE THIS BABYDUCK.. THIS IS PUT VERY WELL...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009):
So - i think you have choices - stay with him- and do nothing. (nothing changes)
talk to him - i think you have to try - and sit him down and say "i have something difficult to say i want to have good sex - can you help? "
if willing then tell him - you love him and buy a vibe and get him to use his hands and mouth.
but the affair worries me - i would dump him for that. so you tell him its a red card warning.
star.x.
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A
female
reader, Ck1 +, writes (23 May 2009):
go an find yourself a real toy boy who will statisfy your needs an ditch the man who will show you no affection but is quiet happy to show other women attention!! turn the tables chic!! go 4 it!! xx
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