A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am looking for advice, I do not know what to do, my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years now, we HAD the most incredible sex life up until 5 months ago, then nothing, literally nothing. I think I am fed up, I can't live like this anymore. I have tried talking to her she says she just doesn't feel like it. Every other aspect of our relationship is absolutely fantastic, we don't argue, we have things in common, we enjoy the time we spend together. So I just don't understand why this has just happened, when for so long sex was great. I feel very rejected, and I am not sure what to do or where to go from here. I am a 30 year old male, good career, and attractive, I have always had exceptionally good looking girlfriends, (including my current one) and I am a GREAT guy, I am patient, and responsible, and generous, (she wants for nothing)Not to mention I do ALL the housework, and most of the work raising our 30 month old boy.(She literally does not have to raise a finger) I buy her things she likes and asks for, and have pretty much always been like this, as I like to see her happy. I have been patient about this because I thought it was just a phase, but now I don;t know what to do anymore. I love her, and the thought of ruining my sons family by leaving her almost brings tears to my eyes, but I can't live in a sexless relationship. I am just so confused right now. What do I do, do I leave or do I stay for my son, has this happened to anyone else, did the spark come back? Or am I just doomed to live in a sexless relationship for the rest of my life.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Something MUST have happened. You don't go from 5 years of lots of sex, to nothing. Has she gained weight and feeling insecure? What happened around the time that this started? You need to dig deeper, and don't accept the "I just don't want it." You have to be careful not to push though. If you make her feel bad about it, she'll just feel bad about herself and get really upset and feel more insecure, which will put sex out of the question.
She may have a medical issue. She's young, and quite frankly should want sex more than NEVER. Did she start on a new birth control? That stuff really messes with your body. If it's a medical issue, she should have her thyroid checked along with her levels of testosterone.
Please approach this in a very sensitive manner. We are so sensitive about sex, and I realize you're at the end of your rope, but she has got to be feeling really awful about this.
A
female
reader, ShanL +, writes (23 January 2009):
 talk to her again and "get her started" by caressing and kissing her body on places you've never kissed or just tell her how you feel and just be truthful. because you do sound like a wonderful man....but she could be stressing about something ask questions and dig deeper into the situation.
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