A
male
age
36-40,
*irefighter
writes:ok well not sure if im in the right or wrong but need help im 23 years old nd just recently moved in with my gf of 4 1/2 years she is 22 and everything is good but the intamicy and sex life is not there nd she tells me not to be mad and i pretend it dont bother me, but after a while i told her how i felt nd she said she was srry nd it was great for like a week nd then she started being the same agian. i wait for like a week nd then i ask her if she wants to get intimate nd she makes it seem like its a chore..... At wrk their is this girl that i have been flirting with for a while nd she wants to go out she doesnt know i have a gf but she really digs me nd ive been starting to check out other girls and flirting i feel really bad for being this way cuz i have never cheated on any of my gfs nd i been pretending to go to wrk to see this other girl i have not done anything sexual with this girl but tempted to cuz im not getting it from my girlfriend and tired of doing it myself; i feel really bad becouse my gf has been talkin about us gettin married nd her mom aswell but im scared cuz my friends say once u get married its down hill from thier and that the sex life stops after you get married.... i dont want to break up with her cuz i really do love her but at the same time i think having a girl on the side will relieve me off all this no sexual stress! i feel like im a jerk and im doing wrong has anyone been in my shoes who could help me... i have told her how i felt i feel like im being pressured to get married nd im not ready. i feel too young to get get married im 23 but a lot of peiople mistake me for bein 18 or 20 cuz i havent aged since high school.. your opinions and comments are much appreciated....
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male
reader, Firefighter +, writes (1 April 2012):
Firefighter is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for the input just a little update we broke up..... im with a new girl who is awsome! funny thing though the tables have turned she always wants sex and i dont..... side note she wants it like 3 times a day and for a long while i felt like the luckiest guy in the world now im kind of tired and just want like once a day its hard to tell her though cuz i know how it feels and i told her once i was tooo tired and i hurt her feelings and i too know how that felt but she understands though once agian thanks for the advice i love this site!~!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): "she said she was srry nd it was great for like a week nd then she started being the same agian. i wait for like a week nd then i ask her if she wants to get intimate nd she makes it seem like its a chore"
Look, I've been there.
Bottom line: Do you love the woman or not?.
If you do, then you need to "work" on this issue, or you will move on and have some problem, maybe the same one, with someone else. Then you will go around chasing your tail and looking for the "perfect" relationship.
Now, there is always a reason for these issues. If you are serious, and want to work to resolve it, then you need to get professional help for you and your gf as a couple, and don't get married before you do this and figure it out. Why? Because after marriage and kids, the opportunity for sex gets constrained by fatigue, work, kids, etc, etc.
My wife and I worked this out, but it took a real professional counselor to help, and it wasn't something that you could just work through by reading some books.
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