A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, been in a relationship around 5 months being seeing each other about a year, and I don't know why but the sex life has completely died down, from every other day to once a month, I don't understand why, and I don't know how to approach for a talk, she just seems to lie in bed on her phone, really makes me feel insecure like I'm not good enough, or I'm doing somthing wrong. But it's gotten to the point where I get to nervous to try initiate as I just presume she doesn't want to have sex.
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female
reader, Buttercup109 +, writes (11 June 2023):
Emotional connection is very important for women. If you don't have that, if you're stressing her out outside the bedroom, it kills her sex-drive. I was madly in love with a guy I was seeing, but he constantly stressed me out and hurt me. So whenever we had sex, I couldn't get wet at all (sorry for TMI). I would still do it whenever he was up for it, but I rarely enjoyed it. Even though I have a normal/high drive, and found him physically attractive.
If you want things to work with her, try to find ways connect with her, find small ways to make her happy. If that doesn't work out after some time, she might have hormonal imbalance or low drive.
Hope it works out!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2023): Maybe because you place too much emphasis on sex and not enough emotional-investment in her as a person. You need to talk to each-other to determine if she is looking for something deep and meaningful; or if you're just friends with benefits.
You'll learn that sometimes we are really compatible when it comes to sex; but when it's time to determine how we feel about each other from an emotional standpoint, there isn't much there.
Learn how to show affection without always needing sex as the outcome. Ask her for some attention, and show her affection spontaneously. If all you want is to get-it-on; she figures there's nothing much to look forward to, or to expect from you. She feels she's just a body to you, without a mind or soul.
It could also be the other-way around. You may just be someone to keep her company, and/or to satisfy her needs.
You two have to communicate and assess what the relationship is all about and where it's going. If it's not what either of you are looking for, part ways. Make sure you're honest with her, and that you're not just buttering her up to get what you want. She's not just a body, she has a mind too; and she'll know what you're all about. She'll hang-on to you, because she wants a boyfriend; but she won't expect much from you, if you're nothing but a body full of hormones and a perpetual erection.
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