A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 46 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have always been too shy to approach a woman for a date. I did have issues with my build in the teenage years. Being tall and thin, I became very shy and awkward in social situations. The jobs I've done have always been remote I.T. support so even at work, not much contact with people has been needed.Now I am in my 40's, I feel as though I've missed out on a lot of fun times. Do you have any advice on how I could get a girlfriend? At 46, I am now starting to think it's too late.
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at work, get a girlfriend, never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Hi, I am the person who posted the question. A big thanks to all the posters. All your answers will be a big help to me.
It won't be easy but I will take in what everyone has said.
Thanks again.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 No, it is not too late.
I have worked with Adult Male Virgins who were older than you.
Accord to stats, 2% of the population have never had sex. The research only goes to the age of 50, but I have heard of people losing their virginity to their first br or gf in their 50s.
The key is the WILLINGNESS to seek intimacy. For whatever reason, social anxiety disorders, being really really really shy, having no libido, or having some major negative association with sex and relationships, there was a lack of willingness that most people have.
Two things I am going to suggest.
1-You may be asexual (a lack of sexual feelings) that might explain your situation. This means that you do not desire sex the same way most people do, however, you still crave companionship and can feel lonely.
Look up www.asexuality.org
It is a great resource.
2-To get an idea of other issues that have brought you to being an adult male virgin, have a look at www.franktalks.com/sex
I wrote a book on the subject and you can listen to previews of CD lectures I did on it, as well as, media interviews on the topic that might give you some insights as to what you need to do first.
Hope this helps.
-Frank
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): Try and get involved in some sort of club or social activity (eg. Pub quiz nights are great ways to meet heaps of people in a causal context)where you can meet different people who have a common interest. It's an easy way to make friends, which should lead onto more social opportunities where you can meet someone special. :D
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A
female
reader, DJLady  +, writes (24 August 2010):
It's never too late. Just be real. I've heard that a couple of internet dating organizations are good, like Match.com or e-Harmony. Please watch out for Craigslist. It has a bad reputation that got that way for a reason, and it's too bad, really.
Everyone has something beautiful to offer, and many mature women think that tall shy guys are very cute. Don't act like something that you are not. Just be yourself, remember that age is only a number, experience is just a bunch of heartaches all strung together, and the fact that you are new to the dating scene is quite refreshing.
Best of luck to you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Try the internet dude. Dating sites, craigslist, chat rooms. Whatever. Just be yourself and chat in email or IM, then move on to texting etc. Make them laugh and show them youre a nice guy but dont sound desperate. So say theyre pretty but dont say youre the most beautiful girl ever etc. If youre afraid of getting shut down online youre hopeless. So just man up give it a shot and if it fails who cares move onto the next one. we have all been there before dude
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Hey :)
Being tall and thin is nothing to be ashamed of! My main example is David Tennant, who is tall and skinny and still desired by women! Why don't you start small, by making friends with women first? Then you'll learn how to talk at ease with them, without the pressure of an actual date.
Maybe you could also try internet dating, so when you meet up, you're seeing someone who knows about you and is still interested?
Being a young person, I can only imagine myself in your situation. But that's just what I'd do. Only do what feels right, if you're uncomfortable and not ready, it'll show.
Good luck!
xxx
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