| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my girlfriend for 4 years, and today she dumped me via text. only recently we were all happy and romantic, but suddenly 3 days later she dumps me randomly. i have been working very hard, therefore have not seen her as much as i used to, but this is as a result of my father passing away 6 months ago. she has been suffering from depression as well, which i have tried my best to help in any way that is possible, including giving her space when required. today she even says she still loves me, i do not understand. any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 I also suspect this was not a random dumping, you mention you have been working very hard and not seen her as often of late. If your contact with her has dropped right off and you have not had time to see her regularly or connect with her several times a week then she may have felt if you didn't have the time to see her when you were in a relationship then she didn't have the time to dump you in person.
A
male
reader, Biffo  +, writes (10 September 2012):
I've just been through a similar experience (although not dumped by text, but dumped on my birthday over the first course in a restaurant!) So I know what you are feeling - the shock, the disbelief, the feeling of betrayal, the humility. If I can give you just one piece of advise and you must hold onto it. Whenever you think of her, don't think of the good times, happy memories etc - that is not the reality. The reality is that she didn't respect you enough or care enough about you to tell you to your face and this is not someone you would ever want to be with again or more importantly to be able to trust again. I'd send her a text and say "I'm glad to be rid of you". Hope this doesn't sound cruel, but the truth is you'll be much better off without her. I wish you the best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): "i do not understand. any advice would be appreciated."
I suspect it is not a random dumping, it's something she's been considering for a long time, hate to say this but I wouldn't be surprised if she's been cheating on you and has finally officially thrown you over for a new guy.
In any event dumping you by text shows a lack of integrity and guts on her part so you now know she's someone upon whom you couldn't have depended on in the long run, and as such you are far better off without her.
My sympathies on the loss of your father; I've lost both my parents (several years apart), though I was well into adulthood when both passed on from natural causes. Given I am much older than you and my parents' deaths occurred 20-30 years ago, I can tell you time is a great healer and as you go on with your life the good memories will far outweigh the sadness you must still be experiencing, and you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much you will still be learning from your late father at ages 25, 40, 50 and beyond.
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