A
male
age
30-35,
*aza2007
writes:hello, i have a relationship problem :( my girlfreind of two years wouldnt have sex with me even though she wasnt a virgin. 4 week ago she found out that i had had sex with a boy she knew! i just need to know how to get her back and if the fact it was gay sex mean anything wil be different? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, waza2007 +, writes (27 April 2007):
waza2007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheyy again its me. very different points of veiw here eh? erm she was 15 when she lost it, shes now 16. the man i has sex with was 20 :( i cant continue seeing the man because i think of my ex-girlfreind and it breaks my heart,i told her i was bisexual before i did it and she saids it was normal.she wanted to continue seeing me but for her own protection i told her she should finish with me; i was ok at first, to get away from her nagging - dont smoke, dont drink, dont go out on friday nights! but i miss her more than ever now and i need her support after attempting to kill myself 3 times. :( i am an emotional wreck and i miss her so much. thanks for the responce, you people are amazing and a real help! p.s: i didnt have protected sex with anyone involved. :(
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 April 2007):
 Hi again, just noticed that she was not a virgin but this does not change anything, she still has the right to choose who she has sex with.
If the boy you had sex with was one she knew was he a friend of hers, and does this bloke not want a relationship with you.
Let me know more info as you have not put much detail.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 April 2007):
Hi
Few issues going on here,
You had sex with a man
You cheated on your girlfriend
You were annoyed with girlfriend as you think she should have sex with you as she is a virgin and you have been with her two years.
you punish her for not being ready to have sex.
So that sums up the issues now what is going on.
Firstly it is her choice when to loose her virginity and to whome, on the face of it she was right not to loose it to you, you don`t say how old your ex is.
No it does not make a difference you having sex with another man, sex is sex, is that the first time you have had sex with a man and did you like it, is there any chance that you may preffer sex with men and have you had sex with a woman, I would be worried at this stage that you got back with her only to break her heart again as it is men that you are more attracted to.
She may have you back but I cannot tell you how you do this and im not sure you should be doing it, does she know you had sex with a man and was that man your own age, do you not have feelings for him or was it just casual sex which as im sure you know is very dangerouse and even more so if you did not take precautions.
Before you try and win back your ex I would suggest you give yourself some breathing space to reflect and think about your sexuality and the harm it does to sleep around be it male or female.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): Just talk to her about it. I can't say for sure that she will come back to you. Why did you have sex with a guy ???? are you bisexual ??? She may not want to be with you becasue it was gay sex. Most girls don't like this if they are straight. But you have to be totally honest with her. let her know if you are bisexual.This is really a though one, sorry to say but I do wish you the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (25 April 2007):
 I think the main thing here is weither or not you are bisexual, or in fact gay. Also, if you just had sex with a guy because you were despret to have sex and saw haveing it with a guy as not cheating (sexual activity with anyone other then your partner in a commited relationship is cheating).
If it was the latter, then she may be disgusted and disturbed that you were so despret for sex you went out and had it.
however.... The main issue is weither or not you are stright. This no doubt has shaken her trust in you, something that you may never beable to regain. Everyone is diffrent, and i don't know her personality, so she may or may not forgive you. All you can really do is ask for forgiveness, be kind to her and loveing, and try to prove, through your actions, that you would never cheat again and do in fact love her.
Did you protect yourself at least? use a condom, etc? Please make sure, for your own sake and your gfs, that you are clean of any and all stds.
But why did you have sex with a male? if it was just to have sex, then perhaps this wasn't a good relationship for you and you need to date someone who is sexual. If it is because you are attracted to males, etc (and theres nothing wrong with this if you are gay or bi!) then are you sure you really want to continue the relationship with your g/f? If you are bi, there are people out there who wouldn't mind shareing u with anouther male now and then... and perhaps this g/f isnt one of them. And if you are gay... you should NOT try to get your g/f back. This is not fair to her... for then you are just useing her (no mater how much you love her) and she deserves someone who can truley love her in everyway, not just as a "front" to not appear stright to your family or friends.
no matter what your reasons for haveing had sex with a male, please consider her feelings and rights. She deserves to have somone who will respect her, treat her right, and is not confused or denying their sexuality. Also, this has probably hurt and confused her greatly. Please try to figure out your actions and honestly tell her why you did what you did. Its up to her weither or not to forgive you. noone else can give you a "magic formula" for winning someone back.
goodluck
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