A
male
age
41-50,
*eordie29
writes:hi folksi posted a few months ago about my severe lack of experience with woman (none) and how it has effected my confidence. see link http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-lack-of-experience-affects-my-dating-life.htmlsince then nothing has really changed. another depressing xmas and new yr single and im 30 this month. over xmas 3 girls at work asked me out and a friends ex asked me out ( i had to say no as i this was painful for my friend and her friend came over to ask me when he was there!). however i really like my x boss who is the same age as me but i know she has a boyfriend who is working away. she told me drunk that she thought i was one of the best 3 good looking men at work ( i was v surprised by this and it really doesnt mean that much does it) and then later out of the blue she slapped me. i cant help thinking that there is something underlying here but on the other hand maybe she just thinks im a twat - who knows. there is no way for me to find out without putting myself right out there. i feel as though i need a few practise attempts with randoms but feel i would simply be using people and i really dont have the heart.also im becoming anal about money. in the last 3 yrs i have cleared £16k worth of debt living at home. im still at home but at the moment i would rather try and save with the short to long term aim of buying. this leaves me with a small amount of expendible income a month when i need to be out there at all costs trying to find a partner for life.i feel a bit lost.anyway my question is this:at work i have access to 6 free councelling sessions per yr. im thinking of ringing up and talking to someone professional to try and get a grip of my feelings and boost my self esteem. its not that im depressed in the clinical sense but i feel as though life is passing me by. i dont want to be 32 in the same boat trying to buy a place on me own and being stuck paying bills on my own. do you think my situation warrants this or should i just grow some balls?
View related questions:
at work, confidence, debt, depressed, drunk, has a boyfriend, living at home, money, self esteem, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): I am almost in the same situation, and yes the problem is the home. I realized that from the moment i went to my first vacation alone. I live at home with the parents in a really small house due to being a poorly paid student. I am planning to move out ASAP. On top of that my father works a night shift which means he is at home during the day. I have a lot of trouble with women here due to lots of stress at school( which puts me in a bad mood), lack of money and privacy.
When on vacations abroad i had no trouble meeting and chatting with women in hotels because i had my own private room.
That was the answer to my problem; parents. I just can't bring a girl home knowing my parents would hear every damn thing
Listen. What is the point of saving all that money for a miserable life. You live only once. Just move out on your own or with a roommate. It will open many options. You can meet a girl and actually invite her over to your place instead of going to a bar.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): I have a 30 year old friend in the same situation. Virgin and living at home. He even bought a house, but makes has made excuses for not moving out of his parents for over a year.My advice is to move out. Get your own place. Having a wife or a girlfriend is not a prerequisite. You can get a roomate if money is an issue.With having your own space comes having your own interests and neccessitating your own social life. You will end up having to invite people over. You will meet more people and women this way.You are right, people do have a lot of casual sex. But you should acknowledge that you have something rather rare to offer if you are looking for a solid relationship. For some women, your virginity will be a turn on. Usually this is applied only to men, but some women like the chase. I wouldn't advertise your virginity from the start, but I would be honest about it and not be ashamed. You may want to go ahead an get the counseling. When the sessions are up, try internet dating. Don't go into it with the hopes of meeting the women of your dreams, go into it with the intent to meet people and practicing your social skills. You'll probably make alot of mistakes, but you'll learn in the process.And be kind to yourself and don't be so self critical. You had pectus escuvatum surgically corrected?! It's not a big deal! First boy I fell in love with it had it as well. I found it kind of cute.Good luck.
...............................
|
