A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I fell in love with an older man. Considerably older- about 30 years older than me. Legalities are not an issue, but I'm having problems with the age difference. I've been in love with him for years, but I'm just now coming to the point that I can acknowledge it. I don't know where to go from here. We flirt all the time, and lately we've been getting in deeper. I only live where he does part time, and I'll be there again really soon. I don't know what to do when I see him. Lately the conversations have turned to hypotheticals about if he was 30 years younger alot. Every time we talk we get in deeper. Last night he told me he loves me. He's said that alot in the past but it was in a different context and I just don't know what to do. Help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): It's a very big age difference and you will tire of him. Are you really interested in him, or do you just like the attention he gives you? What else can he do to make your life wonderful? Is he rich?Find a young man you can grow old with!God Bless You!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): I understand, the man I am interested in is 33 years older than me.
You haven't lost your mind. Just be sure you really are interested and not just flattered that someone with that much experience has eyes for you.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Lets be honest, how many 'good' years does he have left?
On the other hand, you could die tomorrow, age is really just a number.
What isn't a number is that you are still very young, almost a child. Do you really want to spend the next years with a man who can barely remember being 18?
If you can truly deal with the huge age difference, then don't anyone stop you, but don't pretend there isn't an issue. For most couple the male and female sexual peak are already mismatched, in your case by the time you reach your sexual prime he might be going senile.
But the romantic in me says that life is to short to worry, as long as you know what you are getting in to, go for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Age is important. There is no point in being a young widow unless you are prepared for it. You have not said anything about families - yours and his. Is that going to cause problems? Can both of you live in isolation?
In the final analysis if you wanted to REALLY be with him you would be but my bet is that there is a nagging doubt in the back of your mind.
My advice. Try living WITH him for three months. After that you will make your own decision.
Good luck. I hope it will work out for you.
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A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 I've no idea what will happen to us at the moment. My sel-esteem has gone down and down as he takes an interest in younger women but tells me has no need for one. What is the truth there? It hurts. As for him dying before you, you have no idea on that one. You could step out in front of a bus tomorrow, who knows. As for your family - thats not your problem, if you really like him, its about your life not theirs. xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondeema, do you think that you two will make it thought? and really, there are more things at stake here. hes 30 years older than me which means that he will die long before me and ill be all alone. plus what do i tell my parents? they love him as a person but as a partner for their baby girl? i dont see that going over well
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): I'm glad to know that he loves you for you. Thats all that matters!
*~VG~*
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (6 April 2008):
Hi, well pleased to meet you. I am in a relationship with a man 28 years younger than me!!! When we met he thought I was 40 and I thought he was 40 too. Fact was he was 10 years younger and I was 14 years older, but the attraction was there. I dumped him 3 times because I had such problems getting my head round it, only to find he put up no barriers and was so kind about me dumping him I started to question what I was doing. Two years later we married. I thought that would end the insecurity, and over a long period I gradually began to feel better, but we are having big problems now because he has an eye for the ladies, nothing serious but he does like to ogle, and that makes me feel very insecure. He also likes looking at porn, which again plugs into my insecurity, even though everyone tells me its not personal or a reflection of me, because of the huge age gap I find it difficult. I am a very attractive lady and I never felt this insecure about things before, I can't say I'd have liked any man I was with ogling girls, but I wouldn't have felt so uncomfortable about it. There are times when the difference in age matters a great deal and other times when it matters not one bit, but I guess if it wasn't that it would be something else.
So, no, I wouldn't say its an easy path to tread, but the heart doesn't listen tothat when it gets involved. I know he really does love me and I love him too. So what are you supposed to do? If you love him and you're ahppy with him, then go for it, if not, wait till someone else comes along. Best of luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you... its not about being "young and beautiful" though. he loves me for me. he's been there for me through everything in my life for years now. He's watched me settle for men I shouldn't have settled for and he's helped me through it when they didn't work out. He has told me on so many occasions that the just don't really understand me, and I feel that he really does. He just gets me in a way that nobody else seems to. He loves me for my talent and my mind and everything that I am. I don't mean to sound conceited, but its not like I can't get other men- I hate to say it so bluntly, but I AM beautiful. It's just that noone compares to him. I want to be with him so badly it's just that there are so many obstacles in the way, you know?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): We can care and love anyone, it is our nature. The problem is in the age culture differences. The older individual, more mature, has already experienced much of life, will be stuck in there ways and not interested, or possibly capable of experiencing those things of younger adults. The body in the late 40's starts fighting back, and will slow an older person down in enjoying activities of the youth.
Allot of things will catch your imagination, but not the older person, they have already experienced it.
It depends on what you willing to accept in your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): Wow ... 30 years....hmmm.. you must really love him.
Make sure he really loves you for you and not just because your young and beautiful ya know...
love is love . It comes at all ages . there's no rules to love and theres no control over it so your fine . If you both love each other I see nothing wrong with and neither should you .
I hope this helped
*~VG~*
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