A
female
age
36-40,
*arh2204
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 happy years but in the last month he has been getting my name wrong and calling me by his ex-girlfriends name. This has happened on 2 occasions now and it has shocked and upset me so much. When It happened the first time i asked him why he'd called me his ex-girlfriends name he said he didn't know why, it just came out and that he's not spoken to her in over a year. Then it happened again and now I'm starting to think that he has never got over his ex-girlfriend and is still in love with her. He must be thinking about her all the time. Our relationship was going so well but since this has happened my feelings towards my boyfriend have become confused to the point where I am considering ending our relationship as he doesn't seem to care about how much this has upset me. I haven't spoken to any friends or family about this as i find it so humiliating. Am I making a bigger deal out of this then it is? I don't know how to resolve it. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (30 March 2011):
 Three years you've been with this man? And he is just now starting to call you by his ex girlfriend's name?
I could understand if he was just fresh out of the relationship with her and it was just force of habit to say her name, but I don't think you are over reacting at all.
You could 1. sit down and talk with him as adults and ask him why he felt the need to call you by her name. Was he thinking about her at the time? Did you do something similar to something she did that brought up a memory?
2. You could give him a warning that the next time he has a "Freudian" slip you are going to end the relationship.
3. You can skip 1 and 2 and just end the relationship because he has hurt and upset you to the point of where you don't want to bother talking to him, etc.
Good luck in your endeavour and hopefully he will be honest with you and just let you know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Oh thats s tough one. If you feel that he does still love you and you think the relationship could strengthen by talking to him openly and honestly then i would suggest that first. If he ignores your feelings on this issue then he might be in denial coss he feels he has to defend his inner feelings (him liking his ex still). Best is to try and talk to him about it. If you feel worse for him after trying that then I guess you have to decide for yourself when you want to draw the line.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (30 March 2011):
 I don't think that you're making a big deal out of this at all. He shouldn't be slipping up like this, it does set the alarm bells ringing. Are your names similar in anyway? Or are they totally different? This is a tough one to call. He may very well still be speaking to his ex, or he is being reminded of her in some way. Try talking to your friends, you may find it embarrassing to talk about, but they can help you with this.
Now, as to how to resolve it... you have a couple of options. You could end the relationship, especially if this has affected your feelings for your bf. You could sit and talk with him and just ask him to be open and honest with you, then find out what's going on and work through it together. Or you could basically say that the next time he calls you by his ex's name, then you're gone.
Hope i have been of some help anyway, all the best :)
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