A
male
age
36-40,
*J_dr
writes:I can't find a girl, no matter what I do. I can't find anyone to even go out on a date with me. It's gone beyond even trying to find "that special someone" or "the one", I'm just trying to find any girl who will go out with me. Every girl I ask out pretty much just says no (the latest girl I asked out ignored me).I'm 24 and a virgin, but that's not what it's about for me. I'm also 24 and never had a girlfriend. I'm not trying to just go get laid, I actually want to meet someone that I share a connection with. But getting there seems impossible because I can't even get a date.All my friends tell me to just relax and be myself and I'll meet someone. But I feel like screaming that I've been myself for 24 years and I'm still alone.The odd thing is with me, I'm not uncomfortable around girls, I'm not awkward. I really can walk up to any girl and strike up a conversation, easy as anything. I can make a female friend without a problem. But when I meet a girl, she never sees me as someone she could potentially date. All my friends give me a wrap that I'm such a great guy, blah, blah, blah. Attached friends tell me they're surprised I don't have a girlfriend. And few things piss me off more than an attached friend telling me she'd go out with me if she was single.What is it that I can do? Every piece of advice I've received doesn't seem to work, what can I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Pal,the best thing you can do right now is realize that "you're such a sweet guy, I can't believe you're single" and "I just want a nice guy" are the biggest lies on earth. Women say this a lot, and of course they will disagree, but the proof is there. Women, *generally* do not respond to nice guys. Nice guys get confused with shy, awkward, weird, soft, girly, even though they may be none of those things.The day I stopped being a "nice guy" was the day I got laid. True story.Now I'm not saying be an asshole, but you can't be a friend, she already has a bunch of those.Listen to Tom Leykis, and disregard any advice females give you -- because they'll all say the same thing...these same women are the types that say "I want a nice guy" and go after assholes...or somehow end up with one and then cry about it.
A
male
reader, als77  +, writes (5 January 2011):
If you are not uncomfortable around girls, then you at least have one of the right ingredients... Keep on trying? :(
Have you tried asking your attached friends? They will probably piss you off even more, with more "blah, blah" (the only thing that pisses me of more is "everything happens for a reason"), but if they truly mean what they say then they should also be able to give you some advice. If they still don't come up with anything else than "I would date you if you were single", then ask them if they have some friends that will go on a blind date with you... (if they truly mean that they would have dated you if they were single, then they should have no problems in recommending you for some of their friends! As long as your personalities doesn't collide)
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A
female
reader, turquoise88  +, writes (3 January 2011):
wellll im a 22 year old female virgin who also never had a relationship so dont feel to bad. you are not the only one!
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 If you are living in a close community where you know lots of people your age, they will all know your feelings, they possibly may think you are coming across as being a bit desperate, so that you could have a reputation there. Even if a girl did like you she may not want to be your girlfriend for fear of her thinking you only want her because she is there. Why don't you try another tack, make out you don't want to be tied down yet, let that get around. Mainly though just talking to any girl is not really the key, it's what you are talking about, is it interesting, is it forced, is it nonsense. Youre confidence could do with a boost. Join a club, or take up a hobby, they are good ways to meet people with similar interests and enjoyment. Listen to what other people are talking about and you might learn something rather than trying to get attention from girls who could be bored with what you are saying.. 'more is less, if you know what i mean. you are only 24 and you are not the only guy in the world who hasnt been in a relationship, so don't worry, just tell people you are picky and looking for the right one.
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