A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I have a problem. I am always the single girl. I've always been the single girl, always. Save for a few dates, I've never had luck with men. And I don't see that changing.Truth is, I've got an odd look to me that you either love or hate. I love it, and I hear from some people that I'm "beautiful" (then again, I've also heard that I'm not attractive from others, as well, so I guess it's a matter of opinion). But, like I said, I've got a weird look. Not even close to being your cookie-cutter girl, appearance wise at least.I'm horribly shy is one problem. Another is, I live in an area where there just aren't many people, and right now, I don't have many friends who live close by, so it's just me. I do okay with it being just me, as I'm rarely lonely, but every now and then I think, how fabulous it would be to have a love.I have, in the past, tried approaching men and that never pans out too well for me. I've also attempted online dating, but I've only found men who were interested in one night stands (to which I declined).I guess I just feel like,what's wrong with me? I see girls get boyfriends without trying, and here I am trying with no luck.And what do I do?I'm not looking for marriage, but I don't want to be 80 years old saying I've never had a relationship.
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female
reader, krunkqueen  +, writes (26 July 2010):
your still so young! in time you will find the right guy dont rush, I know it sometimes feels lonely but soon you will find someone who will appreciate you and your unique look :)
A
female
reader, asdfg +, writes (26 July 2010):
I was in the EXACT same position as you!!!!!!! Seriously! I could not figure out wtf I was doing wrong for the life of me. Yeah, I'm pretty overweight, but so is like 40% of our population, many of whom can get a date just fine.... I could not figure out the issue for the life of me.
Well, eventually when I turned 18 I got a guy to take a chance on me, lol. He was way out of my league and it was a long distance relationship, but I decided to see if things would work and we lived together for 3 months while I took online classes and saved $. and psst: that was only 6 months ago!
The relationship didn't work out, but it boosted my confidence insanely. I started to wear make-up, got my hair cut and started styling it, and just went with things. I wasn't afraid to flirt anymore---and guys started flirting back!!! I've got two dates this weekend. :)
what I'm trying to say is, I've totally been there. I was the ugly duckling all my life, the one who never got asked to prom, was made fun of in school, had never been kissed, etc. But that all changed when I finally just decided to go for it, and realized that I COULD do something about who I was and how others perceived me. Just put some effort into the way you look, act confident, and don't be afraid to flirt a little bit!!! You'll be just fine; just give yourselt time to come out of your shell!
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (26 July 2010):
Well, at least you love the way you look. That's important.
Maybe just work on smiling and making eye contact with guys that you wish would approach you. It's a nice way for a girl to stick her neck out just a little without any possibility of outright rejection.
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