A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 years old and still a virgin. My friends think it's very strange and laugh at me. Are there other women in the same situation? Even my bf was turned off when I told him? How do i get him back?
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female
reader, ToeTap  +, writes (13 July 2011):
I'm posting this a while after the last post, but I'm sure it's still applicable! I am also a 22 year virgin... In fact I've never even kissed a boy. I am attractive, funny and have really good friends, so I know there is nothing wrong with me... I have just never got round to it. Recently it has really started to bother me that I am this inexperienced, I am the only one in my group of friends (most of whom are super supportive!) who is a virgin and it just makes me feel a little different. Old fashioned even. I am not waiting for marriage, I just realised the other day that I am waiting for love...and now Ive got this far I might as well go the distance! I do feel like there is a lot of pressure to have sex, or that guys find it weird that I am still a virgin... Because of this I know I keep a bit of distance because I don't want to lead anyone on! Anyway, I feel so much better since reading this blog! I am not alone :) And I will satisfy that hopelessly romantic side of me and wait till the right guy comes along!
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female
reader, URNOTALONE  +, writes (6 April 2011):
Okay I'm glad I'm not the only one... I too googled "22 yr old virgin" just to see if I was the only one. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but it worried me when I eventually do get one he'll be turned off by my virginity.... Its frustrating because I have other priorities like getting job..coming out from schooll, thats what my first focus is on. But I do think about sex and want it, but to all the girls out there in the same position, I say to just do it when you really feel CONFIDENT and with the right guy that respects you and your decision. Sounds so cliche..but I think its better than to just find a random person to just get rid of your virginity. :)
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male
reader, Arbst1 +, writes (30 January 2011):
All I can say is listen to your human nature. The worst that could happen is that you learn some life experience. We've all had to learn things one way or another. Thus the choice, is with you ye! Arghhhhhhh
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female
reader, Kimmiqueen  +, writes (14 January 2011):
I know this feeling all too well! I am a 22 year virgin and although I realize its a cool thing, I feel almost debilitated because of it. Recently, I have thought about nothing but sex. My sex drive is to the point where I just want it, and when I have it, I have this feeling that I'll want it all of the time. I want to have it with my friend I just met but I don't want to appear easy. I am super stressed out about this and feel like I cannot function appropriately. I too could use advice! Please! I think I should just have it already because the pressure is so horrible. * But to touch on some of the other ones...I have had guys also turn me down for sex b/c I wanted it...and then told them I was a virgin. I don't know about you guys, but way to completely kill a girls self confidence!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Im so glad im not alone, im in a dark place right now and too knw there are other people who are just like me :)
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female
reader, nopressure  +, writes (21 November 2010):
Adriana Lima lost her virginity at 27! And she is a supermodel!
I'm not a huge fan but I think she is a good role model, she must have had so many temptations but she didn't get influenced.
Ok, she is super religious which is not my case, BUT even though I do not plan on staying a virgin until marriage, I definetly want to wait to be confident enough in my own skin and to find a great guy. Sex is important.
Check Adriana Lima's interview for GQ:
http://www.gq.com/women/photos/200603/adriana-lima-virgin-underwear-model
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male
reader, team1901 +, writes (17 October 2010):
Hello, everyone it feels strange being a 21 year old guy that's still a virgin. I've been one up to this point because it feels exciting and it just wasn't time earlier in life like high school ad middle school. I would hate being the type of guy that paid just to lose this gift I was born with because it sounds horrible and desperate although I'm not judging.
I actually think it incredibly special to be a virgin but I've been talking to a girl for over 2 months and I feel like its my time to have sex. I told her my situation and she says she would love to have intercourse because she feels connected with me and I feel the same way. I'm not sure when we may have sex but I think its days from now and I'm kind of nervous. Does anyone have any suggestions about whether I should stay a virgin or have sex?
Can anyone tell me how sex feels and how it was your first time?
I've had a lot of opportunities to have sex with other women in the past and even though it was very hard, I turned them down but I feel something different this time and dont know if I can. I want it sooooooooo bad and think it will feel good but I know once I lose it, its gone for good. Can someone please help me and tell me what they feel I should do? I'll update everyone if anything happens in the mean time. Thank you!
Male or females out there I would love help from either side.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Like many people on here, I feel that as a 22 year old virgin I have missed my 'rite of passage', and feel awkward and left out when sex is discussed in my social group. I've recently fallen for a male friend, who I know has had an active sex life in the past, and the thought of him reacting badly to the fact that I'm a virgin frightens me so much. I feel like it's not normal, at this age. I've had one long term boyfriend, but neither of us were ready for a sexual relationship at the time, so we were more like friends than anything else if I'm honest. I feel ready now, for the first time in my life - I've not been saving myself for religious reasons or anything like that, although I do believe sex should be special. I just hope everything works out for me and all the other people on this page. Thank you all for sharing your stories - it's good to know I'm not alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Hello, well i'd say i'm 22 now and i'd been a virgin till 2 months ago. It took me 2-3 months thinking alot about should i give or not since i'm anyhow an asian girl who's been put a lot of traditional opinions into mind. But as people always say, it's not the right time when you're stil worried about it. Once you're confident about what you're going to do then it's absolutely the right time to go.
Honestly, i did think i'd wait till getting married and for the first time getting close with your hubby would be the most memorable thing. But believe me it could be the the most memorable anytime you both feel the same way. On the other hand, i believe you should be together that close before tying the knot. Coz there's so many problems you wouldn't find out from the one you're in the relationship with, only from going out for drinks, food, hanging out together. There's no way you could see deep inside him for the marriage to go.
But also don't feel bad about still being a virgin. Your right guy would respect it sincerely and would lead you to the right mood to go. On the other hand, i'd say : enjoy life! ;)
Good luck everyone!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I'm 20 and still am, I wouldn't be surprised if its the same when I'm 22. I've just had other priorities, sex hasn't been important in my life. It's not a faith, or "wait til marriage" thing, it's a "I don't feel the need to take the risk of getting pregnant or an STD" thing. I've gotten to the point where when I'm starting to see a guy, I'll flat out tell him I'm probably not going to sleep with him, and if I do it probably wont be for a while. Some of them are cool with it, some of them aren't. People have different opinions, and what they see as "needs" and I just don't have those same "needs". Part of it is that I have major trust issues, and that's fine. Its odd that when I was 17, I was embarrassed to still be a virgin, but now that I'm 20? I'm almost proud of it. I'm the only one in my group of friends who is not sexually active, and I'm the only one in my group of friends who didn't end up having a kid before they graduated high school.Its nothing to be ashamed of, and sex isn't something that should be rushed just because statistics say more people our age are sexually active than the ones who aren't. No matter how much we're told to believe it's not really anything important - it IS important. It's a big deal. At least, that's how I still look at it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I'm surprised so many people are upset about being 22 year old virgins. I'm one too, but I'm not sad (or happy) about it. I've had other priorities in my life up till now and I've spent my time and energy doing other really cool things. So far, sex hasn't been one of them, but one day it will be...and I'm sure I'll really enjoy the whole experience without any complex insecurities since I never screwed up by doing it with the wrong person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): tomorrow is my 22 birthday! now i know am not alone...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): I'm a 22 year old virgin too and I found this blog today that gives a refreshing take on virginity. Check it out if you want- http://theonlinegrapevine.com/hillary/06082010-the-virginity-stigma
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reader, dabeshu +, writes (6 June 2010):
how the hell do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): I remember reading this forum when I was a 22 year old virgin. I hadn't had sex up to that point not because of any religious views or because I couldn't attract anybody- (I get asked out alot), but because I wanted to wait for someone special, so that I didn't lose such an intense moment to someone meaningless to me, thus damaging my self respect. I had seen alot of my friends do this and I didn't want to turn out like that. Although I always appeared really confident, secretly being a virgin felt like a massive secret that people could find out at any moment and think me a freak. Although I'd pretend I didn't care what people thought, I did secretly, like most people do, but that didn't change my resolve.2 months before turning 23 I agreed to go out on a date with a friend I had known for 3 years. I say friend, but we had been best of enemys, always competing against each other in work etc. As we bagan to see each other more, the issue of my virginity was weighing on my mind. I had to tell him, and when I did, he was totally unfased and unbotherd, pleased even, and told me he would wait years if need be. After more months we finally did it.Trust me. When it's with the right guy, you'll know the right time. It didn't hurt at all, just felt a bit strange at first (then really nice!) and all the moves came naturally. I woke up the next day and couldn't believe all the hype that goes to losing your virginity. It feels good, but its not something people should put major pressure on you to lose! Honestly, I thought I would be a virgin for life and never meet the right person, but if it happened to me, it can definatly happen to you! :D All you virgins out there, don't give into the pressure and you'll find yourselves stronger people and when the moment finally comes it'l be worth the wait. Goodluck! :D xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): And yet another 22 year old virgin who too googled it to find this page.
I sometimes SERIOUSLY think I am the last virgin on the planet, I know it's not true but you understand. Recently I watched a show on vh1 called "The New Virginity" and it greatly reaffirmed my faith in waiting for the right one/time. Not necessarily waiting for marriage, but im not going to give it up to some guy cause he tells me im pretty. I'm even thinking about getting a promise ring, just to promise myself that I will not succumb to the societal pressures of having sex and not being a virgin anymore.
Bottom line YOUR NOT ALONE ... and follow your gut. Oh and btw your boyfriend is retarded for being turned off when you told him you were a virgin. He should be happy that you respect yourself enough to wait for the right moment.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): hey dear in my opinion, u gave the right decision. because i am 22 and am virgin as well...and i will have a relationship when i meet someone whom i love or whom i think this is the right guy u know, i mean i have not met someone whom i really wanted to give my virginity and i am very glad to know there is a lot of people like me :D
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reader, psychme  +, writes (2 February 2010):
being 22 and still a virgin. well, i just want to lose it with the most special person to me at the right time.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): virginity shouldnt be lost just because of your age. it should be given to the person who is very special to you at right time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Yet another 22 yr old virgin and who Goolged it to find this page.I've only kissed about 6 girls as well. Its really starting to get to me as most of my mates have lost it and I doing it for myself is getting really boring. Its not like I am bad looking or anything. I walk around campus and I get lots of looks of girls but I just cannot approach women and thats my downfall. For some reason I want to lose it to a fellow virgin but in this day and age that is very unlikely. I know a few other lads who are the same but they are younger than me but we never talk about it. Hopefully I am not waiting too much longer.
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reader, hopelesswonder +, writes (11 January 2010):
I just turned 22, and yes, am still a virgin and it gets me incredibley depressed, i have'nt had many relationships either, and those few that i have had were... stressfull, due to that type of woman that either i attract or the type that i seem to go for, which are nuts lol, and then turn out to be two timers, i dont know why, maybe its cos im a 'nice guy'. now, im not ugly, but i dont have much hair so i shave it, and what is probably a surprise, is that i am in the Royal air force, so, you could say i have a pretty good physique, and health. but i am in no-way the steriotypical forces guy that has many girls at every camp, thats just not me.
So, i have to lie, almost every day, about not being a virgin. Which i only do to avoid ridicule. i dont want to have sex just for the sake of having sex, i want to fall in love so that it feels right. i dont think i have been in love before, because if that was love, then love hurts too much.
I dont like being a virgin, I hate it infact, Im not religous but im not going to waste it on a drunken night with someone who does not have mutual feelings.
I know this probably doesnt answer ur question, but it feels good to tell the truth to whomever reads this.
Thankyou x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I agree with "female reader anonymous." Sexual distraction has caused me numerous times to do less well on college exams, or fail to get assignments done on time or with the quality I am capable of. All through college, from the time I awoke until I went to sleep, I was thinking about girls--usually classmates. The visions of pretty girls in shorts or bikinis (not nude) were in my head all the time. What finally helped was getting into a very good, three-year, monogamous dating relationship. Knowing that she was there for me, that I could call her and talk with her anytime about anything, helped tremendously. She became my best friend, and we later married and are still very happy today. We both remained "technical" virgins until marriage, but neither of us would change anything if we had that part of our life to relive. My advice is to keep dating, be receptive and open to others around you, don't rule out the possibility of finding a great guy and having a great relationship. Enjoy the adventure regardless if it results in marriage or not. Also, you don't have to have coital sex to have a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. Really great guys and really great gals know this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Hello. This is a pretty cool forum. Not to mention uplifting. I, like so many others, googled 22 year old virgin. I'm about 2 b 22 at the end of December. The right man has not seem to come into my life yet and I've never been in a relationship before. I think I'm fairly attractive, and I do think that I have sex appeal at least. I'm also pretty independent like a lot of the ladies in this forum. I support myslef finacially, have my owm apartment, go to a good university part time.Neither have i had the world handed to me on a silver platter. Any way, the question plauges me pretty frequently: why am i still a virgin or more specifically, why haven't I been able to find a loving man who I can enter into a loving and loyal relationship with and give myself to? And I find myself perplexed by my inability to come up with a clear answer. I wonder if its me - not in terms of looks necesarily but in terms of unconcious behavior or signals I'm giving off which maybe throws guys off.or maybe its because I'm so self contained that I don't create opportunities to meet men; I'm not one of those females who believes that God is just going to drop Mr. Perfect out of the sky for you one day, but I haven't necesaily been proactive about developing a dating life or a social life for that matter either. I do pray for God to lead to me to a real man: a man who posesses the highest qualities of a human being or at least is working on himself to bring those qualities to life in his personality.but I also know that I need to be the very person I wish would come into my life. I am one who believes that a person can't really be loved unless they are ready to love and receive love. There's a part of me that wants to experience this thing called love but I also know in my heart that a person is capable of experiencing the highest love imaginable without necesarily being in a romantic relationship-by developing a relationship to your highest self, or God-whatever you want to call it. What drove me to actually check this forum out wasn't so much the fact that I'm a 22 year old virgin but more so that I was feeling horny as hell 2night and then it led me to question my predicament as a 21/22 year old virgin. A lot of times its my physical desires in and of themselves which cause me to begin thinking about the whole issue of age and sex, and some times I just widh they would go away until I'm actually with someone and ready to give it up because sexual desire at least In my life has been very distracting element in my life. I would even go as far as to say that feeling the need for sex had distracted me from my studies and has been the cause of less than good grades. Like some others in thid forum I can't say I've told any men I was a virgin before. I told one like 4 years ago but I haven't dated anyone since. I know I'm talking a lot. I'm actually venting to tell the truth-on a saturday night with a huge load ofschool work to do. All in all, I just want to feel happy, loved, complete, and find my purpose in this life and I guess that's what everybody ultimately wants- 22 year old virgins and everybody else on this planet. My friend is 22 and had been in a relationship for 6 years to the guy who took her virginity but she is not happy-as a matter of fact she is pretty unhappy to say the least- and love again has turned into this elusive experience that she can't seem to find...her desire for love could easily be taken for the same desire as us 22 year old virgins. Anyway if anyone has read this post to the end thank you for listing to me go on and on. It feels good to share my thoughts with others, and even better, to get honest but uplifting feed bak from mature and experienced people who are genuinly happy with there lives to say the least. I wish every one love and Happiness in there lives especially all the other 22 year old virgin WOMEN out there. Happy saturday every one. - S, Bronx NY
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Hi, am a pretty tall intelligent elect.engr female student who is a virgin and am 22. am soooooooooo proud to be one and i tell you girl, you are a hot cake. do not be deceived by what others tell you. you are privileged to be a virgin. i intend keeping mine till my wedding night and i advice you girl to keep yours too. lol... Ammy, Nigeria.
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reader, StuckInCleveland +, writes (1 December 2009):
22-year-old female virgin here. And let me tell you, once you're over that "hot virgin freshman" age, guys don't think its hot to date virgins. I know this because several times I've had to tell guys on first dates that I'm a virgin because they wanted to get it on. Sure enough, they weren't interested after that. When I complain to my friends about it, they just say things like, "Just do it! It feels great!" or "If you're scared, do it with a guy friend for your first time." First off, I'm not scared. Second, I have high standards. I'm not going to have sex just to have sex. For me, it's not even a moral or religious decision. I've never said I was waiting for marriage. I just think sex should happen in real relationships.
Most of the time, though, I think my friends are jealous that I haven't had the mess and heartbreak of all the things sex outside of committed relationships can bring, so I do feel somewhat proud of being a virgin. But as far as dating, it's annoying not to have a second or third date (because, apparently, that's when you're expected to have sex). But I'm confident that one day I'll meet a guy who gets it, and if he's worth it, he'll be around when I'm ready.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Hello, I googled 22 year old virgin. Not because I am one but because my girlfriend is one. I wanted to see what she is going through and how she copes with it. Sex is something she doesn't really discuss. She is shy and it took her awhile before she told me. Took a lot of nerves on her part. I can honestly say that I love her. I am 28 and have been through a lot of throws in my life. I have loved and lost along with many other things. It is hard for me wanting to be with her, physically and emotionally. I want her to wait and see if I am the right guy, never once have I pressured her and I have told her exactly what I said here. However, it is not easy. As a guy things start to hurt down there when left alone. I have never complained to her about it but I have been through a lot of pain a few times.Anyway, basically all I am trying to say is everyone should be proud to be a virgin. Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but sex just isn't sex without love. In the throws of passion two people that love one another can literally make the world stop. I have loved once before but the feelings I get with my current girlfriend makes that past love feel like just a crush. Be proud of who you are and in time you will find that one person. In my case, I found that one person, I just hope she feels the same way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I feel so much better, now.
Once again, 22-year-old female virgin.
Just never felt right.
It's nice to know I'm not alone!
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female
reader, SouthernBelle87 +, writes (15 August 2009):
Like most of the responses on here, I too Googled "22 year old virgin" (how sad), but was really surprised at the number of responses and similar situations (besides age only), and it's such a huge relief.
Sometimes my virginity makes me feel like I'm still a child, ad it's holding me back from continuing to do things independently (which I know is not the case, but I feel this way regardless).
In high school, my mother was so relieved that I had a date for prom that she exclaimed "Thank God, you're normal". When I still had no boyfriend beginning college, she even asked me if I was a lesbian, which did wonders for my self-esteem. I've dated guys, but EVERY time they've ended awkwardly after only a few weeks.
I'm quiet and reserved until I get to know and trust people (another reason it's hard for me to date). I have to be really comfortable before they can touch me. I am not clingy, or high maintenance, or filled with drama. I'm not ugly either.
I've had guy friends who've just talked so awful of casual flings, and I vowed that I would never be one of the girls in those types of conversations. I'm so aware of what people think of me. I want to portray a strong, confident, young woman and not some sleazy, drunk, party-girl.
It's not like I'm was saving myself though. I've been in situations that could have easily progressed into sex, and believe me, I thought about just letting it happen, but I stayed guarded.
I have mixed feelings about my virginity. I value it very much, but I'm also scared at how my first time will be. So clumsy and embarrassing. How can I be comfortable completely naked in front of someone? It seems so foreign now, like I missed the natural progression in coming of age. This emotional and material attachment to something I don't want sometimes. But it's mine. You see the problem?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): What the hell is wrong with you people? Can none of you even think for themselves? Pressured by society? How does that even make sense? You gonna tell me if enough of your friends tell you to smear shit on your face your actually gonna consider doing it just to please em? It's the same principle really. Stop your whining! Sit down, think your decisions through...use some logic or common sense, either will do fine! Decide who you are now and who you'd like to be and why. Then go ahead and make your own rules stop making retarded posts on the fucking net, use your own head for once!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Ditto, Ditto, Ditto! I say that three time because 1) I am a virgin, 2) I am 22 and 3) I googled '22-year old virgin',lol. I am glad that this forum is up after all these months, filled with 22-year old virgins all over....I swear a we all should for a coalition or somthing,lol. Well, I guess I'll do what many of you have done already which is give an explanation of being a virgin. I'll state by stating this, I am an African-American and recent college graduate. I know based on the statistics itself, I am seen as completely unordinary. Not mention that I am attractive (Sanna Lathan-look alike). Because of my personality, I am not sure if people are aware that I am virgin other than my family. I choose not to talk with it among my peers and my friends. I am sure my friends are not virgins but they dont speak about sex with me. To make a long story short, I think I am a virgin because of my consciousness (let me explain). While I was in fact raised in a single-parent houshold, I also went to suburb schools. Ever since I can remember I was always concious about my image. I hate going to school being seen as 'ghetto trash' based upon my circumstances. I learned at an early age what was expected of me from the society in general...Instead of complying with the statistics, I chose to go against the grain in whatever I did....Which is excel in school, participate in extra-curriculm activities and community service. I yearned (and still do) to be 'somebody' (as corny as that sounds). I want to 'make it' sooooooo bad that I am willing scarfice everything including sex. This is my problem. I look at my mother's case, while I know she for a fact that she is the best single-mother in the entire world, I still am a bit bitter of my up-bringing. I use to ency my classmates for having two-parents and lie that my father was in the military serving this country...When in actuality he was either serving his time in jail or busy producing more unwanted daughters into this world. My father was my mother's first. The first time she had sex was when she was 21. I am the product of her first sexual-encounter. THat fact daunts me! I fear of that happening to me and the cycle continues. But other than this, I also am so turned off by many of the males in my city. While those who approach me are attractive, its their intentions with me are ugly! It seems as if they are preying upon me like I'm some helpless female which instantly turns me off completely. I believe the fact that my city is a rust-belt is the reason that many of the people particularly the men act the way they act. In a year, I plan on moving. But before I move, I know that I have to work on myself....not necessarly have sex but prepare for city that is not as depressing as my own. But even with my problems, in a way I am proud that I am a virgin...My advice to all is: SINCE WE WAITED THIS LONG, WE MIGHT AS WELL PERSERVE UNTIL FOR THAT SPECIAL PERSON. DO NOT JUST GIVEUP TO ANYONE BECAUSE YOU FEEL THE PRESSURE OF SOCIETY OR YOUR HORMONES. PLEASE, BELIEVE IT, WE ARE THE CREAM OF THE CROP!
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reader, Saratw +, writes (12 June 2009):
Im Sara im a virgin too, haha idk why u seem not to be proud of it, im very proud of you, n myself, n my twin sis lol we just turned 22 the reason why were virgins is because im suppose to be!! im not married im single, people who r single are not suppose to be messing around with people, i date guys to see their potetial as a spouse, you gotta value who you are, why would you have sex if your not in love and fully committed to that person? if u do then your just getting burn whether your a girl or a guy..many relationships end after having sex i notice, it means those couples didnt really like each other to stay together, very sad i think, n to waste your virginity with someone like that?? Never!! there shouldn't be a falling in love, or an engagement ring to have sex, it should be marriage and thats just playing smart;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I wish I could say it's because of my morals that I am a virgin, but I was simply obese until I was 21. I am no longer obese, but now I like that girl is still who I am. And while most overweight women still do have sex I just never had enough confidence to be naked with a guy.
Can't really say I know how to get over it. All I know is that once I'll feel good about myself I am sure it will happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Good job to you virgins. Wait till you find the right spouse before you have sex. GOD wants it that way too. I'm a virgin too and plan to die one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): OMG! There really are people out there like me!
I'm 22, yes and like the rest of you a virgin.
All i know is; the reason i've stayed a virgin so long is due to the fact that i don't particularly like the men of today. The nice ones are usually gay, and the straight ones? I find out after being friends for a while that they are commitment phobic, ungentlemanly or just emotionally retarded. Maybe i just want to be taken out in the same way my dad dated my mum. I want to be courted. The man pays. No split bill stuff. I can't say i haven't thought about going out and just "getting it over and done with" because i have. To be 22 and still a virgin often feels like a burden. But then i figure, i've waited this long so i may aswell wait until i find someone who will appreciate me not having chlymidia. I'll probably be waiting a while. My guess....40? Oh well, I can be the leading female in the 40 year old virgin sequal. Gotta laugh otherwise you'll just cry!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Dont try to get him back. He does not love you. He cant even sacrifice for you. Im 22 and a virgin. Believe it or not, in our country, its the opposite. We value virginity.
Most of my friends are virgins, male and female alike. We enjoy the company of each other doing more productive things like making projects that would advance us in our career, joining organizations that develop our skills, help other people , environment etc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): yeay!!! i'm not the only one...i hate feeling the pressure of not being sexually active. everyone i know automatically assumes that somewhere along the line, i've probably lost my virginity to some guy. which is sooo not the case. I'm 22 and to my recollection, most definitely a virgin. People assume what they will and I don't bother correcting them. Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me and I should just get it over with - but the thought of doing it with some random guy. i dunno... Plus my background is pretty conservative and i was taught that the "bedroom" was strictly for married people. i don't necessarily agree with that, but I would find it to be very difficult if I wait any longer to have to explain to a bf that i've never done it before. If I were him, my first thought would be "nobody else wanted to bother, huh!"
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reader, Mustafa +, writes (1 May 2009):
Hi everybody...
Thank God I found this forum, Life was getting pretty gloomy and hopeless. Like all others I am a 22 yr old virgin. Sometimes I just cry and wish I had had sex when I was 16, being a virgin boy is really tough. I avoid being in middle of any discussion with my friends about relationships and sex. Once any one of them finds out, they start making serious fun of me (it has happened before). I wish I could tell them it's never being about sex; it's about true love and my morals.
Why a young man is rewarded for taking advantage of a girl's body and punished for respecting her feelings and not playing with her soul...Uhhh
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Like the rest of you, ditto to having googled ’22 yr old virgin’ lol..... I totally agree with most of what’s been said ,it really makes me think that it’s so funny how society can attach such stigma on something that should in actual fact be commendable. Moreover virginity shouldn’t render a person inferior or superior to experienced people, its really just a matter of personal preference and in all fairness no-body else’s bloody business what we get up to or not! I fall in the category that isn’t still a virgin due to waiting for marriage, i just have morals and believe that sex is the most intimate act a man and woman could possibly share, so much so that i cannot understand casual sex (i also believe in ‘soul ties’, its physical, emotional and spiritual, not just a physical need imo). I want to wait until in in a long term meaningful relationship that i can explore my sexuality in& hopefully i’ll find a guy who be happy with the challenge of exploring it with me, alongside everything else i have to give as a person. I’ve always been wary when it comes to guys too and very careful about just how close I let them get to me....i don’t do anything just randomly, i’ve never had a bf or even kissed a guy but that’s all because i want it to be with someone i really like not just for the sake of it. Also I think the assumption that girls who lose their virginity will be automatically psychotically clingy is rutterly ridiculous and quite frankly egotistical because that’s such an ignorant presumption! Whoever thinks that may not even have considered that their performance may not even be all that, i’m sure even an inexperienced girl could tell if the sex was WACK so they need to be wary about putting in work to set a good example even!!! Or that the pure girl will be so lovely and ‘tight’ that she might eventually learn to turn them out and get them whipped, how ‘bout that (yeah that’s right, i said it!!)
Funnily enough regarding sex talk, i must be confident about it because find myself discussing it with my girls quite alot of the time without ever feeling left out! It rather just sparks my curiosity and i can ask them any educational questions i want for research purposes Lol. I like to be ‘in the know even’ if i’m not doing it cause after all duh virgins get horny too *shock horror!* so i can at least relate to that lol... Im lucky enough to usually just get the surprised look when i tell people (99% of which are my female friends) and then somehow it automatically turns into them respecting me for it, especially because i don’t ‘look it’, whatever the hell that means. Im also fortunate enough to have never been bullied or made to feel ashamed about it although i’m quite a strong character& i’m definitely physically attractive (i say so modestly of course) & its not like i don’t get guys trying it on so i can’t imagine anyone daring to belittle me. I’m pretty sure this is because i exude confidence, integrity and dignity which i thank god for so until the man for me comes along to make me wanna compromise my singledom and virginity I’M STILL GOING ON STRONG, my legs are staying shut!
[And in the mean time on those hormone induced horny nights we can all hail the use of the Vibrator- hands down one of the BEST inventions EVER ha ha aha aha ahhhh! (lets not presume us ‘V’s can’t be adventurous via other means puhlease lol) Peace out y’all! ]
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Hello!Woah I am so relieved!! I thought I was the only one!! Myself and a few of my friends are all virgins (I'm 22 also) and proud of it! Sex isn't EVERYTHING in life!! Who gives a shit??!?!?! My friend slept with 3 guys, all of whom didn't want anything to do with her after.....there you go! I would rather do it with a guy who cares about me, not out just to use my body and I've rejected a few losers who were clearly into it for just that. haha what a bunch of loser idiots, its incredibly obvious isn't it?!?! lets just laugh at ppl like that guys and girls!!!!! lets be proud of the fact we are virgins!!!! yey!!!!
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reader, hermes86 +, writes (5 April 2009):
Hey, I'm a 22 year old virgin too. Ha. It's crazy that there's so many other ppl like me. Among my friends, i have Nobody that can relate. I don't keep it a secret, but i don't bring it up unless it comes up in conversation. It changes the way people look at me after. Some people don't even believe me, some people are mean and they say things like "i feel sorry for you"
I guess they don't understand that to me it's a really private intimate thing that i can only share with someone i'm extremely close to.
Sadly i've never met this person and alot of guys get scared or freaked out or turned off by my lack of experience. But i really don't care about them i just wanna find true love, and i keep waiting for the guy who really deserves me, but i'm getting really restless.
I'm afraid that once i do it i'll be too shy and not good at it, or that i'll get so tired of waiting i'll make a big mistake and throw it all away for some wack regretful night.
I'm really sensitive and i want to have a bond with someone i can truly share every single detail with, and be clingy with and just be myself and love him and give him everything of me.
That's all i ever wanted, and the fact that i never had it makes me think there's something wrong with me, because i know most of my friends have been in love, and i'm the only jerk who's never had a boyfriend. Lotsa guys try to F me or date me or whatever, but i don't want any of them. And when i do like a guy, he is too emotionally unavailable to be with me. Maybe that's what i like about him.
Anyway it's all so complicated this sex business and it seems like everyone else is doing it, and i just don't understand how people can give up something so special so freely. I think sex should be beautiful, not all dirty.
We understand eachother at least & as for your bf situation, the most important thing i've ever learned about relationships is that you always have to talk about things. Even if it's hard you have to tell him exactly how you feel about everything, and make sure he understands. It might work out, it might not, but at least you did everything you could and you didn't sacrifice your integrity.
So i feel like i have a million other things to say, but i should probly be saying them to a psychologist. In the meantime i'm just a horny virgin. Thanks for making me feel not so lonely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): Feel alot better after finding this webpage! I'm a 22 year old virgin too. I'm told I'm very attractive with a good personality and I get asked out quite frequently. Thing is, i don't find any of these guys attractive because i can tell just by the way they are looking at me that all they want to do is sleep with me and don't care about me as a person at all. I want to sleep with someone who actually cares about me. It makes it worse that my younger sister is sleeping with my best friend. Outwardly I'm really confident, but secretly I feel like a freak most of the time with some shameful secret. I want sex, but just can't sem to find the right man. Anyways, Ive waited this long, Im not going to just sleep with anyone now, just because I feel bad sometimes.
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reader, confessjess +, writes (17 December 2008):
 I don't think it is something to worry about, if he leaves you because of this, than he is just a silly boy. When you are ready for sex, and I know a lot of people worry about awkwardness all I can say is that I found it very natural. I don't understand why your friends would tease you for this, all I can think is maybe they are a little immature. I think sex is personal and should happen when you are ready, not dictated by others.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): I am a 22 year old virgin as well (and I Googled it. lol). I have never even kissed a guy and while it does leave me feeling left out I just try to have faith that I have not had sex yet because I have not met the right guy. If that guy left you because you were a virgin, then honey he only wanted you for one thing. And since you didn't sleep with him it means that you know he wasn't the right guy. It seems to me like you have enough self respect and independence to know what is right for you so just keep listening to yourself!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): wow. I googled this because I'm a 21 year old guy dating a 22 year old virgin. All I can say is that you're missing out. Sex is FUN. i know i know, im just the typical guy blah blah blah all i want is sex and im a jerk. ok go ahead and think that. sex is a physiological NEED. we're built as human beings to spread our seed. it feels so good. ive been with 2 virgins, one of them said it hurt and the other one didnt. so i guess that part just depends on how comfortable you are with sex. why wouldnt you want to take part in the greatest pleasure you can possibly experience in life??? i'm not suggesting you do it with someone u don't have feelings for, but come on people try to be a little more open. OH NO YOUR BOYFRIEND WANTED SEX!!! Thats terrible. how dare he want what his body was physically designed for. it must be his fault. jesus christ, get out there and spread some love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): Hi, I'm turning 22 in a few months and I'm still a virgin. I find it incredibly frustrating because I want to be in a meaningful relationship. I feel lonely and want to be with someone who I can feel comfortable enough with to share myself. Honestly though...if you really wanted to have sex that badly and just wanted to get rid of it, you probably could have. While I've never had a real boyfriend and never gone further than kissing, I know that if I was determined to have sex I could have. But that's not the point. You want to be with someone you care about, who equally cares about you. I know I do. I'm not going to have sex with someone just to have it. My friends who have lost their virginity at a young age have had very few sexual partners. One in particular, she was in a relationship for four months when she was 17 and then lost her virginity. She was with that one guy for another 2 years. They broke up and she met another guy...they've been going out for a year and a half and are moving in together and probably going to get engaged soon. 2 relationships is all she's had and she's 21.
Another one of my friends is my age and is also a virgin. It's not that we aren't smart, or pretty, or funny, or good people, because we are. We like to go out and have fun. And she could have had sex too if she wanted. But neither of us has wanted to do it with someone we didn't really know or feel close to, or really care about. We aren't waiting for marriage, we are waiting to be in a relationsihp where we feel comfortable enough and close enough to lose it.
Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for still being a virgin. It shows you have more self respect for yourself then giving it to someone you don't know or even like very much. Another one of my friends lost her virginity in high school to her boyfriend and they had dated for 4 years(so all of high school). She didn't have sex with any of her other boyfriends until she met this one guy recently (which was 3 years after high school). She didn't start having sex with him until she knew she was completely in love with him. Which made it more special for her.
I'm waiting for the right guy and you should too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): You're very worthy that your still a virgin.Anyone who leaves you because you're still a virgin is pathetic & selfish.i'm guessin' he wants more experience.If so,he's strictly not thinking of your feelings/emotions.It's all about him.selfishness.If he's not willing to wait for you,he isn't worth YOUR time.LIVE FOR GOD.PLEASE HIM.don't waste your time on your ex... because... you wasn't worth HIS time.You were a big waste.Move on sweety.There's virgins out there.but Its rare.:( It's many of us like that now days.I'm 23 & still a virgin.If I can't love & respect myself first & no-one excepts I'm a virgin,i'm movin on.We're special.So many wish they can turn back the hands of time.but they can't.So enjoy being RARE.:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): if you boyfriend left you simply because of that he's less then worthless a female virgin is an extremly rare thing cherish it and give it to only one man
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): It made me laugh seeing how many other people said they'd googled 22 year old virgin, I feel a lot better now! I don't know why, but the thought of getting that close to someone just terrifies me, yet at the same time I feel like I'm missing out! I think what scares me most is what the other person would think of me, like there's something wrong with me for being 22 and still not having had sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): hey! I'm like almost all of you that wrote back, 22 year old virgin girl. But I never had a boyfriend either. And I don't know how to be ready to have one. Sounds strange but, I'm not self confident, and every guy that are in my entourage does not seem to see me as a 'girl', but more as a friend. I love music, going out to rock shows, partying and hanging out, playing soccer, watching hockey, being a little extreme in my own way... I'm being myself. I had so much time to think about me, about who I am and everything. Now, I know (I won't ever know at 100%, but still...). Now, I'm ready to have my one-half, my boyfriend, but how? How can I, ME, be interesting for someone else???Maybe you don't give a shit about what I just wrote, but I never said that to anyone I know, so just to know that someone can read those lines and understands what I'm living, it gives me the chills, and I'm happy. Thanks.BTW, what you should do is: do what I say, TALK to someone you know, and not what I do....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I googled 22 year old virgin as well. Not only do i seem to attract women with broken but some very scary guys too. I wanted to why these people thought it was okay to try to push to be my first! Looks like someone had a similar problem... the last guy tried to use the whole benifits to the health and understanding male crap on me last night. I could write a book with all the lines i've heard, I bet alot of you could too.
Honestly the idea of sex terrifies me, it symbolizes something permanent, like a desire that seems to pop up all the time, or at least that's how alot of my friends see it. I don't beleave in love (or maybe i'm scared of it), I don't want to have an std, don't want to get pregnant, or have a relationship before i've found my passage in life.
Being a virgin has allowed me to meet friends who actually watch my back, and respect me as a person with an independant mind set. These people have such an open mindset with me that I've learned to be open as well.
Part of being young is finding your own way, I doubt that anyone has the same path as yours. Don't think of your virginity as a set-back, if your friends think it's a joke and your b/f can't see you as a person, you found out they're phoney because of your viginity. BE PROUD!
LOTS OF LUCK!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I am 22 yrs old and I am a virgin. It's not true you are virgin only if you are ugly or a nerd. I did a bit of modeling indeed and I never had problem to find girls to like me. The only issue is that I have never truly been in love. I was once but she was with someone else. I know sometimes is hard, but life offers you an ocean of amazing experiences anyways. I am waiting, and I think I now found a girl that I could fall in love for. Soon or later the right person will show up, don't look for it, it just happens. Do not ever ever be forced. Your body is the temple of your soul, don't litter it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): don't worry gal, i'm a 44 yr old male virgin, i get the same grief, i wish to remain a virgin until i'm married, don't care what friends say, I've had the opportunty with a girl who striped off-but i chose not too
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): Glad I'm not alone (although I knew I really wasn't). I've been in 3 relationships and guys have never seemed to mind that I'm a virgin. People are always suprised to find out that I am - I mean I'm no prude and do enjoy physical expressions of feelings, I just haven't gone as far as having sex. When my best friend was considering losing her virginity (at age 16) to her current boyfriend she talked to me about it first. I was completely honest with her and said I didn't judge her for her decisions, I just knew that I was not ready at 16 to have sex. And now, 6 years later she's had 8 sexual partners and I'm proud to have had 0! We 22 year old virgins are few and I think that's something to be damn proud of. We're like collectors items...rare and only improve in value over time!!
So in response to the original thread about the girl whose bf dumped her for being a virgin I say good riddens!! I know breaking up is hard, even if the guy is a total ass you still waste your time crying and being sad over him (it's called being human). In the end you're better off without a guy like that. I know I've never once regretted my decison to not have sex until I'm in an emotionally mature relationship. To me, sex isn't something to be taken lightly or practiced casually. I need to feel deep emotions for someone before having sex with them and I don't need to explain myself to anyone. If your friends don't back you up and are making fun of you, maybe you need to find new friends....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Much like everyone else on this forum I googled the "22 year old virgin" topic as well. I'm 21 going on 22 and I've yet to lose my virginity as well, nevertheless I was very pleased to find this forum, I now know that I'm not alone. Its not like I'm horribly ugly, many guys refer to me as just "cute" and many would agree that I'm in good shape but I've yet to lose my virginity. I too face many of the issues that have been discussed in this forum for starters I've never had a relationship at all and therefore have not even been kissed, not to say there haven't been any potential guys but they all run away when I tell them that I'm a virgin. I'm honest and I thought it was important to let them know of my principles and values right up front but the fact that none of these guys stuck around makes a statement of their intentions. Therefore they are not worthy of my time, I'll wait for the right guy to come along and it looks like its going to be awhile. In addition, confessing your virginity to others tends to draw in the wrong kind of guys, the kind of guys that have sick twisted fantasies about virgins. Plenty of random guys do express interest in being my first, but this is not what I want, I'm saving myself for someone special. Another thing that strikes me when you confide in others (who are not virgins) about your virginity is that they treat you like you have a defect or something. I've never understood this, if someone tells me they've had sex with over 50 random partners many of which they can't even remember their names, why would they look down on me because I've chosen to wait for that special guy? Well anyhoo, I thought I would post on here to let you know again that you aren't alone in this endeavor. I'm sure things will work out, just keep holding on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): hello all, another 22 year old virgin here.people are ALWAYS surprised to hear that i'm still a virgin, and because of societal pressures, i generally take that as a compliment. which in retrospect makes me angry, but i guess we all want to conform every now and then. people often assume i'm not since i'm pretty and hang out with all the pretty, popular, party girls at university. however, once they do find out, which, unless someone feels the need to "out" me, means they are close to me, i am usually ALWAYS told by these people that it is a GOOD thing and that they've had really scarring experiences with meaningless/casual/bad sex. the older and more mature we get, the better (hopefully) we'll be able to weed out the bad in these situations. i'm really independent and try not let guys affect my self esteem and i know that some of these friends really envy that.don't let your friends laughing bring you down. if they don't care to respect it, then maybe your independence and going against the norm has caused them to feel insecure about their own decisions. this doesn't mean you're a better person than them or anything like that, but that maybe by acting for yourself you have made them realize that they should stand up for themselves too. it's a complicated issue, sex brings up some strong emotions in a lot of people, for better or worse.so keep on keeping on ladies (and gents!). there's nothing wrong with continuing to stand up for yourself and for making good decisions in this STD ridden age. a fellow virgin friend has started dating a great guy that doesn't care that she's a virgin, he just wants to be with her. so may that serve as hope for all of us! what should you do? you should do what makes you happy and stop worrying about the rest. so your bf dumped you over it--thank him! you don't need that in your life. know that there are others of us out here and we're perfectly functional and attractive and you are too. and for everyone expressing doubts about their physical selves in relation to their virginity -- own it! its not your bod it's your 'tude, i know some ugllyyyy people who have lots of sex. so get out there and have fun and stay true... life's too short!xx
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reader, aunty_rach +, writes (12 October 2008):
first time i had sex was when i was 18, and i think it does change how you are around the other sex, not to mention it changes your confidence. i don't understand when some women say they want their first time to be really special....because it really isn't. the reality is, is that it hurts and it;s uncomfortable and all i remember thinking was "just wish he would cum already" so i say don't worry about when or who u do it with, u will eventually and the second time will be much better then the first. also dont feel presured into doing anything you don't want to. but whether your 16,19 or 22 it will still be uncomfortable!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Yes, like the others who have already replied to this thread I am also a 22 year old virgin. I'm glad to know that there are other who are like me who are willing to share their experiences. I think that people find me attractive, smart, successful, and friendly, but I seem to "freeze up" around members of the opposite sex. I am proud of the fact that I have waited to have sex. I need to work on being less timid and work toward building a meaningful relationship- which may or may not lead to sex. I have to remind myself that although I was the last one of my friends to get my driver's license, I did not feel like I was a different person after I got my license. Maybe this whole sex issue will turn out the same.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Hi...Im still a virgin at 22. It gets really hard sometimes but I get through it. Sometimes I just want to lose it so badly...its great being a virgin but other times it fustrates me. I'm ready for sex but I have not found that right man and until then I guess i'll be a virgin. Hopefully not for too much longer...im getting restless. Virgin's can get horny too. But I would hate to give it up to someone who wouldn't cherish such a beautiful gift. Hang in there :)
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reader, shanes  +, writes (8 June 2008):
hi, im just 22 and still a virgin but believe me its not because i want to be. im just very shy and not good looking so i dont have the confidence to talk to girls and i am also ashamed of the fact that i am a virgin because i am a guy and the only one of all my friends yet to have sex and i dont know how to overcome this fear?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Hey its not strange, i'm 22 amd a virgin i understand how hard it is, its not like i'm waiting for marriage but just to be in a trusting relationship. And me i'm from australia and it seems the average age unless your religious is around 15 or 16 to lose your virginity.
I have one "friend", and i use that term losely who seems to think be a virgin is like the plague or something. But the rest of my friends know and they don't really care they see me. not a virgin when they are with me.
And the guy he doesn't seem to be worth it if he won't show a little understanding, do you really want your first time to be with a guy whose only there for the sex, you deserve more and shouldn't settle for second best.
Good luck and don't worrry you will find someone who understands that there is more to you than your body :-)
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reader, previasc96 +, writes (23 April 2008):
Ignore who ever is teasing you for being a virgin. My Girl was a virgin when i met her. She was 21 yrs then. She was taught to save herself till marriage growing up. She had boyfriends before me but the split when she told them she was saving herself. I had no problem with it, i just liked her and wanted to continue dating. I did have a girl on the side for my sexual need the first three months, but then i started feeling guilty about it as i began to fall in love with my girl. So i quit sleeping with the side chick. A month later my girlfriend started expressing that she was falling in love with my also, that's when she decided to go all the way with me. I asked her if she was 100% sure, and she said yes. We've just celebrated our one year anniversary in February :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): To answer you question, You are not alone in this world. I am 21 years old and a virgin as well! And proud to be one in this year of 2008 !!! But only by Religiouse choice I made a to stay this way until marriage...Its hard but I pray and keep hope alive. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): I'm a 22 year old virgin as well. I've had several boyfriends but none super long term, because frankly I have a history of picking overly aggressive losers (but that's another story). I almost had sex about 2 years ago and to this day I'm SO glad I didn't. I realize that even if I wasn't a virgin, I wouldn't have wanted to have that memory of sleeping with someone I wasn't head over heels for. Right now I'm insanely busy with school, and I go to a very academic/ nerdy college that lacks the artsy guys I'm attracted to. So long story short, I think about being a 22 year old virgin a lot... almost feeling like a freak show at times... but I think waiting for someone I'm really in to is going to be worth it. My biggest worry now is meeting a guy who is scared of my virginity... thinking I'll turn into a clingy psycho (when really I'm fiercely independent and not the emotional type). But... I guess that any guy who is afraid of being with a virgin isn't the guy for me. Guys afraid of virgins tend to be playboys running from any kind of relationship. So anyway, nice to hear from all you girls in my same situation!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): You should be proud of yourself. I am older than you & still a virgin as well. I believe in waiting for the right man to give my virginity to & hopefully he'll be the 1st & the last.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): i am also a 22 year old virgin. i think about it a lot. many times a day actually. i feel i have achieved a lot in my life although i know i can do better, this is one of lifes hurdles i have not beaten yet. i feel stunted in my life journey. it has made me unable to focus on other more important areas of my life. it has made me an angry person. i dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): That last post sounds like bullshit. I've never heard anything like that. (Maybe one of the well-known STDs could potentially damage a child or something, but that's not what he is saying.)
A woman's previous partners "polluting" the DNA of her future children with other men later on? What is he talking about? Can anyone back that idea up with any science? I doubt it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): i'm a 24 year-old-virgin who not yet engaged into any relationship. One may say me speaking on behalf of the "losers" who can't get laid but consider my word as a scientific term, women wombs can get polluted by the ejaculations by the men that had sex with and the resulting of the DNA of born babies arent purely based on the married couple but also got some DNA mixture from the previous guys that have sex with.
So, to being fair to your partner or yourself, for having a baby that is 100% product of yourself and your partner, do not engage into any sexual intercourse my any mean necessary, unless you want a baby that have some mix with other guys beside your true partner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Hi, I googled 22 year old virgin because.. well I am one.
I think it's great to stand by your principles.. if you don't want to have sex you shouldn't, and you shouldn't be embarrased.
My case is different, it's not that I want to be a virgin, it's just that no man is interested in me.
I'm overweight (before somebody says anything, I am on a diet and do a lot of exercise), so I guess that says it all right?
I am so embarrased because all my fiends are having sex and I'm not, so I lie about it... I tell them I've had sex.. don't ever do that please, its disgusting.
Anyway... Now that I've read a lot of testimonies from 22 year old virgins, I have to say that I respect you, and I wish I had your integrity and principles.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Good for you your a virgin that's a good thing you wait for the right person.God Bless You
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Im 22 too, and im still a virgin. Your boyfriend must be an absolute loser for being turned off or not appreciative of the fact that you won't jump into bed with just anyone.
I had the opposite problem, a male friend suddenly started being very suggestive and flirtatious around me after he realised i was still a virgin.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): I just turned 22 and am still a virgin. Though the reason I am a virgin is due to the fact that i have aspeger syndrome and i am a little bit overweight. Whenever i see a couple getting lovy dovey with each other I get really pissed off. I dont have the social skills to get a girl to jump into bed with me because I just dont know what to do in those types of situations.Furthermore, I thin sex should be between people who love each other, the problem is i dont know the difference between love and lust, i dont know how to distinguish between the two, I'm not sure i could even fall in love, its so hard trying to find a girl thats just like me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): I too Googled "22 year old virgin" because well... that's what I am.
I imagine most of you are like me in that we have many attractive qualities and could've had numerous partners by now.
I'm not saving myself for marriage, rather, I haven't found anybody that I've deemed worthy. I'm not holier than thou, but in my opinion sex is very intimate and when you do it you give a bit of yourself to your partner, so it's important that your partner is worth it.
That being said, I'm constantly plagued by my being a virgin. It feels like there's an expectation to be very sexually experienced once you reach your 20's. Not being sexually experienced seems to work against us folks in this particular age bracket. So, in turn I worry that when I do finally find someone special I may be rejected because of my lack of sexual experience and because they may think I'd be "clingy".
I keep my virginity a secret because all of my friends have had numerous sexual partners. I try not to be ashamed of it but at the same time I don't want be defined by it. Even if I wasn't a virgin I know that I would be private about these matters.
But all I know is that I won't settle and I encourage every other virgin on this site to do the same. There are worse things than being a virgin, such as having sex with someone who didn't care about you and being discarded afterwards. I know that I wouldn't want to live in regret because a cavalier attitude resulted in my having mindless sex.
But I'd like to say in closing that I really appreciate other virgins speaking out because for a very long time I felt like I was the only 20 something virgin left out there in the world.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Hi. I am a 22 year old virgin. I have never had a boyfriend and the last time I was kissed was over 8 years ago. I am studying abroad with a bunch of people in Paris and everyone one is having sex with everyone. Few people know I am a virgin. I am not ashamed but I dont broadcast it either, I'm a very private person and sex is personal to me. I googled "22 year old virgin" to find some people in my same situation. I recently listened with disgusted at the comments of a guy I knew. I said, "I would never want to be someones first. Too clingy, too attached. They would be going around saying, 'My first was Joe...' and I dont want that." I thought that was kinda sad. I felt really sorry for him and sat there laughing to myself, thinking he would never have the pleasure. Maybe your boyfriend feels the same. And if so, do you really want him? Your virginity is more precious than what others think of it.I confided in my closest study abroad "friend" that i was a virgin. At dinner we were talking about sex dreams. When I was younger, I had one about the Val Kilmer from the Saint. To relate to the conversation at the dinner table with 7 others, I stated this. I was horrified when my friend, who recently started sleeping around due to a breakup from your 4-year relationship, and who I have gone out of my way for to prove to her that I wont hold it against her, said, loudly and blatantly, "But you, youre a virgin!" I was shocked that she would use it against me, make me sound like the flawed one. The table fell silent and everyone just looked at me. When I never once treated her that way. I dont think she understands the extent to which she hurt me. When i privately confronted her, I didnt get much of a reaction. Its made me re-evaluate the efforts i've put into the friendship.I will never sacrifice myself for the love of others. I encourage you to do the same. At the end of the day, its you you go to bed with. Its you who needs to love who you are. Then when the real someone comes along, you'll recognize him, because you'll see a little of yourself in his love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Hi. I am a 22 year old virgin. I have never had a boyfriend and the last time I was kissed was over 8 years ago. I am studying abroad with a bunch of people in Paris and everyone one is having sex with everyone. Few people know I am a virgin. I am not ashamed but I dont broadcast it either, I'm a very private person and sex is personal to me. I googled "22 year old virgin" to find some people in my same situation.
I recently listened with disgusted at the comments of a guy I knew. I said, "I would never want to be someones first. Too clingy, too attached. They would be going around saying, 'My first was Joe...' and I dont want that." I thought that was kinda sad. I felt really sorry for him and sat there laughing to myself, thinking he would never have the pleasure. Maybe your boyfriend feels the same. And if so, do you really want him? Your virginity is more precious than what others think of it.
I confided in my closest study abroad "friend" that i was a virgin. At dinner we were talking about sex dreams. When I was younger, I had one about the Val Kilmer from the Saint. To relate to the conversation at the dinner table with 7 others, I stated this. I was horrified when my friend, who recently started sleeping around due to a breakup from your 4-year relationship, and who I have gone out of my way for to prove to her that I wont hold it against her, said, loudly and blatantly, "But you, youre a virgin!" I was shocked that she would use it against me, make me sound like the flawed one. The table fell silent and everyone just looked at me.
When I never once treated her that way. I dont think she understands the extent to which she hurt me. When i privately confronted her, I didnt get much of a reaction. Its made me re-evaluate the efforts i've put into the friendship.
I will never sacrifice myself for the love of others. I encourage you to do the same. At the end of the day, its you you go to bed with. Its you who needs to love who you are. Then when the real someone comes along, you'll recognize him, because you'll see a little of yourself in his love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Hey, I get this I really do. I'm not a virgin but just barely so. (One partner a year ago) I think that it's great that you are waiting. I agree with the rest on here that if he was willing to leave just because you are a virgin that he's no good. Dame da yo. I'd personally be glad to have my girlfriend be a virgin. It would show me that she's a person of character. Which, i'm sure you are.Rushing sex isn't always great. The aformentioned person I rushed it because I was 21 and that was "Weird" to be a virgin. It ended up ruining the relationship and I truly had cared about her.Ontop of this I now find it in my head that I'm obsessed with doing this thoughtless act again. With no real luck(Mind you I recently moved to Japan and well I don't find white women attractive more then 1 out of 10 times so, I've recently been put in an environment where my brain says... "Ohhhh pretty" all the damn time)I feel like an outcast for only having sex with one partner and I worrie about not being "Good" in the future because of this. So, I definitly no yours fears. Though, at the same time I wish I had my virignity still. Theres' someone here that I wish I could have given it to. Anyways, Keep up the good fight.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I'm a male 22yr old virgin aswell. I'm just shocked at how many people from the UK are still a virgin at this age! Make's me feel more 'normal' LOL. Like other people said, you do feel pressured in todays world and generally left out of the conversation's when ya mates talk about sex, and it's tough sometimes, but hey, that's life!
Regarding your bf, it really is his problem if he is turned off because of your virginity. If you want him back that much, you should just get in contact with him and have a private meetup and patch things up. Most guys I know would be more turned on by knowing that your a virgin so I have no idea whats going on in his head. Regarding your friends, if they think you are weird because you haven't lost your virginity, I would just say it means you have better self control than them.
Most social groups all want every1 in them to be the same as them and act like them, dress like them, and thats where peer pressure comes in, and that's all they are doing, they just want you to be like them, its their insecurity I guess.
Just know that you aren't the only one and that it is your body and your choice. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I'm 22 years old and still a virgin as well so I know how you feel.I feel almost embarrassed of it.People talk about it and you have nothing to contribute to the conversation so you feel left out.People purposefully try to make you feel like your some sort've freak for not having sex.Blah.The days where being a virgin used to be praised are over-at least in over here in western civilization.Your friends suck seriously.They should be able to tell that it makes you feel uncomfortable and if they respected your feelings they'd back off about it-your boyfriend too.We all have different maturing rates.Due to shyness or being self concious...whatever the reason may be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I'm a virgin at 25 and know how you feel ,but your boyfriend really is the one with issues if he has/had a problem with you being a virgin, he should be happy that you don't sleep around with just about anybody, you deserve a lot better than a loser like him, true friends won't laugh at you, they are probably secretly jealous and wished they too had been more sensible, be proud of who you are, you aren't a sheep following the crowd like most and thats certainly a good thing as you think for yourself.
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reader, daletom +, writes (7 January 2008):
A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008):
I was 23 when i lost my virginity . . .
So was I! My wife and I "exchanged" virginity - she took mine and I got hers in return. It was lousy sex, yet extremely meaningful and significant to both of us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): I was 23 when i lost my virginity and i never thought of it as a bad thing. It is something you should be pround of and if any guy dumps you for that reason he is a jackass and you dont want to be with him anyways.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): whoa your friends shouldn't laugh at you for that.. you should actually hold your head high and laugh at them because there's something special about you. if that's your decision i think that's great!and you'll find a great guy who appreciates that quality in a girl
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): Hello there! Thank you so much for having the honesty to say this.I don't usually participate in forums but It's amazing that I am in the same shoes as you! (I live in England in London,am nearly 23 and as yet inexperienced) So that's why I chose to respond...Regarding your friends...A few years back I had friends who used to laugh at me about things which mattered to me, well about my family to be more specific. - In your case you must know that these individual friends are imposing their ways on you.. which isn't particularly fair.(would you do that to them?) I never harshly judge people who believe in or who do different things to me but I also don't want anyone imposing them on me(your choice what do you think?) Moreover laughing in the face of a friend about something that is important to them and knowing that it is - doesn't really sound that fun-funny-lighthearted-jokey - my own opinion is that this behaviour is more on the inconsiderate, thoughtless and even perhaps bitchy side. you have to make up your own mind about this and how you want to go forward.Back to the main issue: With me - I know that I'm not going to be a virgin forever, when I was younger about 14/15 I used to let people say what they liked and let people make me feel odd sometimes, but now i'm older and more confident in my personal convictions. and Yep - its exactly as the man who posted the first message said, indeed for me - waiting until later, stems from my own personal integrity, courage and respect for sexuality... Obviously I look forward to it, but when I feel it is right, with someone I like and feel comfortable with. Wish you well.
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reader, daletom +, writes (22 December 2007):
What can you do? Probably find a different boyfriend!
Most 22 year olds, both guys and girls, have had ample opportunity to have sex. In my mind, your situation boils down to "WHY is she still a virgin?". I suppose there might be a few 22 year old virgins who spent the last decade locked in the basement of a convent, but it's more likely that a 22 year old virgin has remained so out of personal convictions. Their condition reflects personal integrity, courage, and a respect for sexuality (both their own and their partner's). If your friends, and especially your boyfriend, are ridiculing these character traits you need to find different friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Hi,
I too am a virgin and at times am so preoccupied with it that I can't concentrate on what's really important, i.e. getting into grad school, finding myself, aspiring to a good job. In fact, the reason I came across your blog is that I googled this very issue in search of advice. The people that responded to your blog are in the right and, yet, I know how it is to long for that experience you've never had; how you think that it will change you in some dramatic way, how you will be a complete person when its all done. I can't say that this is what will happen because I too am still a virgin. What I can say is this: In a society as drenched in sex as ours, it is not a wonder that some of us feel embarrased and out of place still not having had that experience. Waiting for that person is hard and gets harder as our view of the world changes, as we become our complete selves. However, and I truly believe in this: Its when you stop caring about it all together that he shows up and you'll know its him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): i'm also a 22 year old virgin, and the same thing happend to me twice-with two guys. i just wasn't ready to give it up to either of them. but it's funny how they can be so "in love" with me but when i don't give it up they split. it just goes to show that i'm happy i didn't lose it to either of those douchebags.
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reader, Shelbyy-x +, writes (29 November 2007):
 im 14 years old and believe me i wish i was a virgin!!!!!my best friend is now 20 years old but she lost her virginity at 19theres nothing wrong with being a virgin.i think its amazing.but you probably think a 14 year old telling me this? I just grew up really fast.i lost my virginty at 12. which i regretbut I'm not a normal 14 year old..
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Hunny if your bf left you because you are pure then you dont need him!! SIMPLE AS THAT!!.
But seriously, most men are freaked out at the thought that other men have been with their gf before them. And if its a lot of guys then they are really put off.
Hes a waste of time, save your precious gift for someone who deserves it.
good luck in everything you do.
x
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reader, MarkyW +, writes (28 November 2007):
I too am 22 and still a virgin. In fact I've never even had a girlfriend, despite all my friends (male and female) declaring me "a really nice guy". Let me make one thing clear - TWENTY TWO IS STILL YOUNG - we're barely a quarter of the way through our lives. We seem to have found ourselves in a society where if you haven't had sex by the age of 14 you get classed as weird. Why should virginity even be associated with age in the first place? When you're ready, you're ready, whether at 14 or 40.
I think your boyfriend puts sex at too high a priority - he's meant to be in a relationship with YOU, not your virginity. As for those who laugh at you, are you sure you want to even call them friends? Friends are meant to be supportive, not single you out....
I hope that makes some sense. If you ever want to chat feel free to send me a private message and I'll give you my email address.
All the best
Mark
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reader, Sandman +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Virginity is a wonderful thing. You've got something to give your husband on your wedding night. You've got your dignity. Not to say that having sex looses dignity or that you wouldn't have anything to give on your wedding night, but it means more when you give your husband your body for the very first time.
Your boyfriend. Don't worry about him. Let him go. There will be plenty of men who find you attractive and will love you despite you being a virgin. Remember, your body is yours - don't just give it to someone because other people think you're strange. Laugh back at them when they tell of you their latest sexual escapades and then say "bet you didn't ask if he had a STD. HAHAHAHA"
Joking aside, embrace who you are - and if that includes being a virgin then so be it. Don't give in to the pressures of the world until you're ready.
Hope this helps.
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reader, Koala +, writes (28 November 2007):
Hello, I just want to tell you that you are not strange at all, I myself was not much younger when I lost my virginity and a couple of friends of mine aged 25 and 26 still have not. We are not wierd at all and are pretty cool people! My boyfriend at the time did not think it was strange and we went on to have a really great sex life. I understand how it can get to you but please try not to let it :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Hi Hun,
I dont no why your b/f was turned off by this he obviously wasnt worth you now was he...A friend of mine who at 23 has just found a girl he really likes and she is a virgin, same age.. He was coming down last week and asking me how he should be kind and gentle with her as he was scared he would blow it because she is worth alot to him and didnt want to scare her away.. And this friend is not usually as carefull as this, so I no he cares alot...You have nothing to worry about if people think its funny let them get on with it sweetheart, Its your life and your body not anyone elses. I would def look for a more caring b/f love take care love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, em1516 +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I'm a virgin at 22 and I am a guy. If your boyfriend left you due to it then he doesn't truely love you and he is not worth your love. Sorry if that is not what you want to hear .:.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): If your boyfriend and friends are putting you down because of a slight detail like this then what is there reaction going to be if something big happens. If your ready to have sex then tell your boyfriend that , It may help him understand that you were waiting for the right guy.However if you are not ready for sex and he is not the right guy tell him. If he does not understand then finish him. And yes there is other women like you in fact there is alot as for many people want to wait for the right guy. As for your friends tell them that laughing at you about it is putting you down and if there good friends they will stop.
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