A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 years old and I'm still a virgin.Hell I've never even made it to third base.I'm just getting so tired of waiting. I really wanted to wait until I had some one I loved, I even prayed to God to send me someone but either he doesn't care or is saying no, neither of which are acceptable answers.For a long time I really felt like I had made the right choice but now I'm looking back and starting to regret my decision,now I think I may have just wasted what might have bin some of the better years of my sex life.I never really liked the idea of casual sex, just always seemed empty and hollow, but I'm starting to consider it more and more.It's not really even that hard to get sex anymore if you really want it, because so many women are just plain easy. Even if I did find someone that I could have an emotional connection to first, chance's are they will have already had sex, so then what would I have to show for my abstinence?Nothing. Why cant I just think like every other guy and just screw everything with a heart beat? It would make things so much easier.
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male
reader, Greenegrass +, writes (10 October 2012):
I know I'm posting this way late but I completely understand what this person is going through and I imagine many people are going through. I'm 24. Before this past summer I had never kissed a girl, never dated a girl, never done anything with a girl. Over the summer I met the girl of my dreams, kissed her, went on tons of great dates, had sex, did everything. I fell in love.Let me tell you this. Don't give up and go see a hooker. Don't get drunk in a bar and try to have sex with some random girl. As long as you are a decent looking guy and not overweight or ugly don't give up!What you need to do is what I did and what I should have done back when I was 20. Go online to date! This is seriously amazing. If you're too shy to talk to girls like I was this is a god send. I met a wonderful girl who was extremely hot and was totally astonished that I had never had sex or a girlfriend or kissed before. She loved me and taught me everything I know and we fell in love. If you want a girl don't waste any time. Get online now and make it happen. You will regret every day you waste without having a girl.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): I will have a blast literally lol ... I'll get some for u def man, safely of course ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYES! You go brother! You tear that shit up! Rip one up for me while your at it. ha ha
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): There was once this kid in my middle school who would ask me on occassion if I was still a virgin. If he asked me that today, he'd be pretty damn sorry as my answer is still yes.Look at my pic. Im a good looking guy. I wake up some days and ask...why the hell havent I gotten laid? Ive known women, Ive been in relationships, and Ive always respected women. I was raised by a single mother and that was the first thing I was taught. Im a one man one woman guy and have only been in two relationships. Never believed in random hookups. Never have had any sexual contact with drunk women.Here's a tip: MOST WOMEN hate nice guys. You can only treat a woman with so much respect and then after that youre the friends zone douche. After repeated rejection in maintaining who Ive been, and having always stayed this kind, generous, and honest man, I found myself thinking like you. I hate the media....the movies, the tv shows, casual sex conversation and sexual references. Not to mention what your friends talk about. Women have told me "its fine" and "Thats different" (LADIES, that doesnt effin help). So, what am I an exception to the socially accepted? Your situation is precisely one of the reasons why I got up and left the US after 24 years and came to live in Saudi Arabia. I was unwelcomed, different, a effin embarrassment. After turning down those 5 16 year old naked girls in a hot tub when I was in high school, I was proud. After walking into a top rated vegas strip club and turned down sex and two BJs for a two hour conversation with a stripper, I was proud. After turning down a 90 woman 9 guy all nite fuck fest with running back adrian peterson at the marquette hotel, I was proud. Women like projects and eff ups, not guys like me who are already put together and have an outstanding job with an oil company, a radioshow, fighting thru a legal dispute with a racist effin airline, and give a shit about my health and dont drink or do drugs and exercise my ass off. This is part of the reason I can lift the 115 dumbbells off the rack, why I beat off 4 times a day, and why Im getting surgery on my stomach. Im tired of being different, special, and a gift to women when in reality we are too rare to be considered anything good. Go and find me one beautiful woman in america who is a virgin because of personal choice and not religion, you wont find her. Ive been thru so much with ladies I want them to look at me as tragic, a wreck, a what could have been. If that society is gonna portray me as different, effin A I'll act different. After counseling, careful decision making, in two weeks I will "proudly" say Im not a virgin. Im losing it in a way in which 99% percent of guys do not. Not one, not two, but THREE women will be in my presence. Three models, three fuck dolls, three women who dont know me and have no reason not to say no as Im paying them a lot of money. Look at yourself: If these thoughts started to haunt you day and nite, if its a bothersome worry, do what you need to take ur mind off. In my case, I just need to get laid in a very serious all out way to let out all my anger, frustration, and hate for the way Ive been portrayed and ridiculed. I can already tell you Im excited, not nervous at all, as they already know Ive never done it and the fact I dont have any emotion invested in them I dont have to worry about stupid feelings getting in the way of me feeling awkward or pleasing them. This is all about me for once. Not me holding the door for some brod, or paying an extra 1500 to get on an airplane even if some racist bastard denies me boarding and forces me to purchase new airfare, this is all about me, the guy who gave a shit when you broke up with your BF and needed a ear. Scratch one off the board for one less virgin in the world...Im done waiting. This is your life pal, do what you feel is necessary to help yourself, to better yourself, and to protect yourself cause right now its all about you. I once heard a quote in a film, Menace II Society, when I was young and have stuck by it..."whatever changes you have to make...then u just do it. You have to think about your life." Many people may say Im overreacting or need to calm down...they havent seen the world thru my eyes and can therefore screw off. I dont want to hear it. Ive made my decision, feel confident, and ready to proceed with life and when it comes down to it, that is what counts when it comes to this matter. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everybody, I just wanted to say thank you for all your advise. It means allot to me just to have someone to talk about these things to. I cant talk to my friends they just put me down and dismiss my problems, they cant even understand why I've waited as long as I have;and sex is just to awkward a topic to talk to family about.All I wanted was to have someone that I could love and make love to, and I just do not understand why I cant do it. It seems like all my friend have had people just fall into their lives, and I've just been left hanging; and then there's the media that just bombards you with the idea that if your a male over 16 and your not having sex, then your just an awkward geeky dickless looser! I just drives me insane sometimes, like today I was watching TV and there was a commercial for a new movie coming out called THE VIRGIN HIT, I was so pissed I almost threw my f###king drink at the TV. I know everyone says that we shouldn't care what other people say or think but most the people that say that don't have any problem fitting in to begin with.
I just wish that I could of had more experience with girls when I was in highschool then maybe I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in now :(.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Firstly there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. There are loads of girls out there who would prefer the guy they're with to be a virgin. I'd like to think it's a good way to get in with the girls, not every girl wants to be with a lad who's been around the block, the same way a guy wouldn't want to be with a girl who's the village bike.
I wouldn't say you've wasted the better years of sex life because i think of sex as something which gets better as the years go by. The first time will always be abit awkward and uncomfortable no matter how old you are.
Really it seems like you don't want to just go out and have casual sex as you said yourself that it's hollow, so don't settle for it, when the right girl comes along it will happen.
I don't know how you don't see it, but you not being like every other guy is what should appeal to the females. I don't think this is about waiting, you just need to build your confidence a bit. I know it's difficult but put your self out there more, sure you will get knocked back by some but who doesn't. You will never know until you try.
I hope this has helped x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Bro since it is overwhelming your thoughts Id advise counseling to help cope and deal with it. I did and it did in my decision to approach it. You could also try a family or friend hooking u up with a nice girl as those closest to u know what kind of person u r and who u may like. Yes, screw the dating sites. In fact, u made me giggle a little bit. Theres always the idea of losing it to a prostitute which there are plenty of threads on here of guys who have done that and lots of good feedback that may help. Good luck pal and know ur not alone. I understand your situation entirely. Grab the bull by the horn, do what you need to do, and go from there. Think hard about your decision about any consequences and I think youll be alrite.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo does anyone have anything helpful to say,or is the general consensus just that I'm f##ked no matter what I do? Because besides followtheblackrabbit all I've bin hearing is "yeah sucks for you buddy". Is'nt there at least one person out there that can give me some decent ideas as how to turn this thing around?, and please no more dating sites, they never work, I've tried them all and never had good results. Most the time there just filled with over weight girls and single moms, I'm not a chubby chaser and I shier as hell am not taking care of someone else's kid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Saving yourself is all well and good until you discover its a one sided thing. You will be settling down with a woman who has screwed multiple other guys. There is no socially acceptable way to even tell people their past matters to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I feel this guy's frustration def. Im 25 and havent been laid, tho next month Im taking care of business and in a non traditional way let's just say that lol. Im done waiting, it's my time, porn isnt good enough, and ive waited things to happen naturally in my relationships and they have not. Ive received counseling on this as it has kept me up at nite and has made me quite angry and upset since I feel alone in that I havent done it and that I put a lot into my relationships and nothing happened. This wasnt an easy decision but its what I feel is right and makes the most sense. Good luck bud.
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male
reader, Solrac  +, writes (22 September 2010):
Dude, I feel your stress. Like you, I felt the need to have my first time with someone special. Since I had not found her, I too, was a virgin last year. But by that time I started feeling frustrated (so basically same problem).
I am not a virgin anymore. Last year I went out with my cousins to a bar and got heavily drunk. I don't remember much what happenened next, but I ended up having sex with a hooker (I don't remember much of the act either)
I very much regret this, as I betrayed myself for nothing.
My advise is wait if this is what you feel is right. Be strong. A man is nothing without ideals.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, porn's not good enough anymore. I want the real thing! I don't think you understand how much this is really starting to bother me. Let me put it in to perspective for you. I happen to be enlisted in the Army National Guard, and early next year I am set to leave for my first deployment for a year. I'm worried less about deploying to a foreign theater of war in a country on the other side planet, then I am the prospect of being a frickin virgin for another year. :(
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Don't obsess over things like that it's bad for your brain..just stick with porn that's what it's for when real women don't want it go for the porn it's better than Obsessing over some gee wizz "problem'. Stuff happens when it happens just chill.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): You're not missing anything. I had sex in my late teens, and let me tell you...it sucked. It was so awkward and insincere, I didn't even have an orgasm with the first 3 women I had sex with. I couldn't connect enough to just relax and enjoy. I didn't have great sex until I met my wife at the age of 20. Sadly, that didn't last, and the partners I had after that were hit or miss. Wait for someone meaningful. She doesn't have to be the love of your life, but if she's special, so will be the sex.
To quote Hank Moody: "All the top shelf pussy in the world cannot compare to the love of a good woman."
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Try online dating. POF is pretty good and free! You can also hide your profile so others can't see you (if you worry about privacy) but you can still see them! You sound VERY attractive so you'll be getting messaged left and right. Living w/ ur folks at your age is no big deal. Hello, we're in a recession, saving money is crucial! But no girl needs to know that in the first couple of dates :p It's easier to talk to girls at volunteer sites, bookstores etc. Places where you can start friendly conversation. "Excuse me, sry 2 bother you but I noticed you were reading *book* I heard about it from friends, is it any good?" :p A good-looking guy whose into books is a dream to many, many girls! Heck, I'd want to date you lol
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Try online dating. POF is pretty good and free! You can also hide your profile so others can't see you (if you worry about privacy) but you can still see them! You sound VERY attractive so you'll be getting messaged left and right. Living w/ ur folks at your age is no big deal. Hello, we're in a recession, saving money is crucial! But no girl needs to know that in the first couple of dates :p It's easier to talk to girls at volunteer sites, bookstores etc. Places where you can start friendly conversation. "Excuse me, sry 2 bother you but I noticed you were reading *book* I heard about it from friends, is it any good?" :p A good-looking guy whose into books is a dream to many, many girls! Heck, I'd want to date you lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, Tell them "non of your business" and they already know! Trust me its much better if I just say "damn left my phone in my car , I'll be back", and wait around the corner till the subject changes.As for a getting a date, hell that would be great, except I suck at asking women out! See I had a vary sheltered childhood and never really had a lot of interaction with girls until I was like 18. Granted I have made a lot of progress since then, but I'm still not really comfortable with just going up to random women and trying to get their number. Its not like I'm bad looking or anything,I,m like 6 3 200 lb. I stay well groomed, dress classy, drive a pretty nice car. The biggest thing that bothers me is I still live with my parent and I think as soon as most girls find that out their going to think I'm some kind of looser or free loader. I'm not really, its just that it would be to big of a financial strain to pay for my own place while I am at school full time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): lol you don't have to leave the room. That's no one's damn bussiness! Besides, men always lie about the "magic number" to make themselves look better. You want to have sex. Date a girl you really like and respect. Doesn't have to be "the one." Just not a one-night stand bar tramp :p
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): I feel you here pal big time. Im 25 and a virgin and i get uncomfortable as hell just watching how casual sex is in movies and tv and hearing it everywhere everywhere and everywhere. I saw a sign the other day on a highway that said Virgin? then had a phone number. If I was playing Grand Theft Auto IV WE could all think of creative ways to eff up that sign lol (personally I'd prob fly a helicopter into it). Im at the pojnt right now where I had to do counseling, I made a decision, and let me tell you I will lose next month in a very interesting, and kind of crazy way lol. The decision wasnt easy and did take some time. Its taken me a long time to look at losing it objectively and not emotionally. Altho I firmly believe in one man one woman, Im just doing this to gain confidence back and many other reasons as well. Best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah,but there's something to be said for being socially accepted too. It would nice if I didn't have to find an accuse to leave the room every time the topic of how many people you've had sex with comes up.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): Boy there is a lot of denial around here.
Give this guy a break people. His situation sucks and you all know it. The least you could do is not insult him by acting like you don't know why he would be unhappy about it.
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit +, writes (19 September 2010):
You're wrong, not all guys screw all in sight. My best guy friend is 25 and a virgin. He's good-looking, smart, and funny, girls want him but he's waiting. He found a nice girl and we hope she's it! Hold on if this is something you truly believe in. And don't think your first time won't mean anything just because the woman isn't a virgin too. Love is what matters. Think about this: what if (God forbid) a girl was raped, her virginity stolen. You fall in love with her...r u going 2 walk away? What if she was troubled when young? What if she simply has a different view of sex? Not easy but made luv 2 ppl she thought would be her forever love. Your girl will appreciate you waiting. Not many women can receive such a gift from the men they love. I hope you don't go for casual sex. I know you feel frustrated but betray your ideals because of it. She's out there! You might still lose it to a girl not the "one" but at least, let it be someone special to you. Someone whose memory you can still appreciate years later.
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