A
female
age
41-50,
*inger
writes:Hi,This is my first time ask question on this website. I am a chinese girl and live and work in Canada now. I have been in Canada almost 10 years and I like canada very much.I came to Canada and met my boyfriend who is German. I really really like him, however, in the begining,we were good friends. I ask him if I can become his girlfrinds but he said he wants to focus on his study. Anyway, after few years, i asked him again and he agreed that I can be his girlfriend.However, we are in long distance relationship. we only see each other few times a year. since I know him, it is almost 7 years and in relationship for 2 years.I am his second girlfriend, his first girlfriend in germany when he was teenager. since he is in canada, he does not have girlfriend except me. he is my first boyfriend.anyway, we never ever had sex. during the past 7 years, we only kissed twice for 1 mins. we been travel together and live on the same bed but nothing happen.I asked him if he is virgin and he said he is. I am also virgin too.Is that normal or our relatinship is health? Now I am planning transfer my job to his city and live with him. He said he will rent 2 bed room apartment and we both will have our own room. I am really confused and I do think there is something wrong. I need help from you guys and sort the problem. What should I do? Should I transfer to his city and live with him? We been together for so many years.What should I do??
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female
reader, Tinger +, writes (2 April 2010):
Tinger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have question that he might a gay. I asked him before and he said he is not gay. And he does not have any male friends too. He is the person who really like to help other people and very honest.
I had very good relationship with his parents. I think they like me very much. They really want me to be with their son. Every time when I have problem with him, his mum always phone me and help me through the situation. If my boyfriend is gay, his parents should know, right??
Also, my another concern is he does not like me that much. Like Angzw, if he likes me, he will come to visit me. However, he never come to visit me except I go to his place to visit him. I asked him why he does not want to visit me, he always say I will but never did!Also he said my place does not have interest place to go.
I really do not knwo what to do with this relationship. Maybe he is weird or maybe he is just shy (like what his parents said). Or I am stupid!
It is so hard to know other people's mind!
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (1 April 2010):
Most men do not maintain an attraction for a woman who pursues them. You asked him out twice. He might have said yes so he doesn't appear mean. I don't think he's attracted to you. However, there are other fish in the sea so you should consider moving on to someone else and forget him. When a guy wants you, he's calling you visiting you, wanting to kiss you and hold you even if he doesn't want sex. I have dated Germans and they don't come from a culture of wanting to wait until marriage, I mean not even a french kiss with your 2 year boyfriend wtf?! Forget him. Apologies for being blunt but I think you need to think seriously about whether or not you actually even have a boyfriend. He may be gay or with someone else. Try ask him what his problem is.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 He is being respectful to you and your culture. You are not married and having a 2 bedroom apartment is socially acceptable.
It would not be right to be seen living in a single bedroom apartment when you are not married.
Maybe, he is a conservative and religious type who wants to follow what is right in his culture.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 You could initiate sex yourself instead of waiting for him to make a move.
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