A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone i have 2 questions here so sorry if this drags on abit!! Ok first one:Im seriously in love with someone who im at college with, over these past months he;s shown signs her likes me to. These were mainly deep eye contact when looking at me in general and he used to stare at me an AWFUL LOT!! twice it was so intense i daren't look back. Therewere also other signs and some stuff people in our class said sorta hinted stuff like they were trying to get me to admit i liked him or hint he liked me. Since then it got confusing, he said to a mate of mine that he doesn't have feelings for me, although he wasn't asked outight he just assumed thats what my mate wanted to know then when my mate told him i liked him he just said well to be honest im choosing to stay single so wont go out wih her!(btw he doesnt talk to this mate of mine a lot and they arent close or anything) Now a mate of his(a girl who has a bf)started talking to me and i always suspected she knew something but once she;d left college(shes a yr above us) she sorta just brought it up in a convo generally and was on about new friends and then said ut when i first met you i always thought you fancied(name)So i told her yeah i do but thats a different story n she said why and i said cuz i thought he liked me back and she said but??? and then i told her what had gone off. Then she came back to visit at college and had obviously said something to him while they were out at dinner as when they came back she kept winding me up saying do you wnat to sit here(next to him) and rubbing his hair then when she got up to go she asked if i wanted to sit there again and i said nah im alright and she said Aww she don;t wanna sit with you now(to the lad i like) After that she was teasing me on msn saying how if she didnt have a bf she;d go out with him and then as a joke tried to set me up with a mate on msn and when i said nah she said you want(name)? dnt ya??? So yeah shes been winding me up over that. Thing is things like this happen and they obviously talked about it and he showed signs and stuff but then he tells my mate he dont have feelings for me and wnats to stay single i dont get him?? What do you think?question 2Now you know what went off we only have another week togetehr before the summer then we wont see each other or anything for 10 weeks, we arent very close and dont have contact outside college except facebook so with it being that long i dont know how im gonna cope. Im seriosuly worried that if he does have feelings for me that over the holidays they will just go away and that they wont come back when we are back after the 10 weeks or that he wont miss me! Do you think these feelings he has for me if he does will go away? He's pretty quiet and doesnt show the fact he likes someone alot so i wouldn't be able to tell but do you think he'll still have feelings for me when we go back? Thanks for any help i want to enjoy the summer but i'll just miss him to much!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Right... Now I remember you, why didn't you do what I told you and just ask him straight out. It makes things so much simpler than this "he said"..."she said" stuff. My head is old, and that kinda of thing just gives me headaches and confuses me. Better to be up front and direct... "Hey, your cute, I really like the way you are, I smile everytime I see you, what do you think, you think a shy, sweet guy like you and a shy, sweet girl like me, could ever get together and try doing a thing."... Easy and simple, he will either blush and say yes, or he'll waffle on about some rubbish like "I'm not ready, I want to stay single, your nice but....." Anyway, as I said I'm old and you are young.....
You like this guy, yep I can see that. Your gushing and happy in this crush/love thing you have. Everybody can see it, and it makes them happy, it also makes me happy and I'd like to see you get together with this guy. Since you won't make the first approach and he is shy, I have to depend on the truth of what you've written, to see what's going on.
He looks at you for a long time, yep he likes you. Your friend asked and "he want's to remain single", he gets embarrased about people making jokes about you sitting next to him. He is very shy, and likes to keep his feelings to himself. You don't know him very well, but you know him enough to know you and everybody else will probably be embarassing him. Your getting some "signs" that you are sure are attraction.
You have various options available to you.
1) Ask him directly how he feels, and put yourself out of your misery.
2) Assumes the signs and advice of all the people arround you are right. The guy likes you and he's too shy to say. Now the balls in your court and you still have to return to option one.
3) Assume that the signs and advice of all the people arround you are right. The guy likes you and he's too shy to say. He gets embarrased when people are talking about him and gossiping about his business. He'd love to talk to you but dosen't know what to say. He loves to look at you and wishes your friends will butt out untill he works up the courage to ask you out. Tell your friends to cut it out and return to option one.
4) He has no interest in you, you and the other people have misread the signs. People are embarrasing him because he dosen't find you attractive. Forget him.
5) He finds you attractive, but he really has decide to stay single at this point in his life. When he changes his mind, if you are still single and he feels the same way, he may decide to ask you out. Wait if you want or find a guy that is available to date you now.
I'm sure I said the same thing before, but I will say it again. Please PUT ME AND YOUR FRIENDS OUT OF OUR MISERY, Gather up your courage, choose an option and find out what is going on. Good luck, please update us with any other news and keep well.
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