A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am the same guy from yesterday's post 1ST TIME QUESTIONS(Today me and my girlfriend(we both virgins) had to go to a date for sex 1st time in 2 and a half year relationship. I asked about condoms, pills, protection etc). I want to thank all the people who took time to answer my questions. Now I have some more questions. Today we went on the date as scheduled. We did a lot of foreplay. She and I were wet enough. I went down on her. 1st time, I ejaculated due to extreme arousal while I was licking her clit because her moaning excited me a lot. after a break of 10-15 minutes, I was back again. We again had a lot of foreplay. But at the time of intercourse, I did not have hard erection. It was semi erection. I could not enter her with force. However we were able to start it but as I entered, she felt a lot of pain. It was severe and she felt it even when I tried to use my finger to make it a little flexible. But even that was very painful for her. What was wrong with us? Another question: I gave her a contraceptive pill that is common in our country and at the correct timing. After an hour of our lovemaking, she started feeling uneasy and upset. And after whole day till now(night), she is not feeling any hunger and has vomitted 2 times. Please take time to answer this time also. I would be really thankful.1. For me, should I take viagra next time for a harder erection for our 1st time sex?2. For her, should I rely on condom only for protection from pregnancy?3. How can I reduce her pain in 1st time?
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a break, both virgins, condom, ejaculate, erection, foreplay, viagra Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Take your time.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (26 March 2010):
 Ok, as DoubleM stated your trouble with erection is common for a first timer. I was the one yesterday who replied not to focus too much on the details because your first time is going to be anything but perfect. Here are some things to help:
1. You don't need viagra. The fact that you ejaculated while going down on her shows that your parts work just fine. All you need is a few times having (or trying to) have sex and relax. It'll happen naturally.
2. Women can answer this a little better probably but for a girl's first time there can be some discomfort. Some worse than others. Some women will bleed and be sore, some won't. I wouldn't overly worry at this point.
3. About the pill. A birth control pill does not work like a condom. A women usually has to be taking the pill EVERY SINGLE DAY for at least a month before it can be as effective as advertised. During this period the pill effects a woman's system internally, including hormones, etc. Usually the woman should go to her doctor first to be checked and then prescribed the pills. You don't just take the pill before sex like strapping on a condom. Also, a pill does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases.
My advice? Forget the pill right now. Forget about trying to be as perfect as you can. Neither of you have the experience so don't go crazy trying. I think a big part of your problems including her upset stomach and your partial erection is due to nerves. Try to relax. Just lay with eachother and proceed slowly. Maybe a few nights of oral sex first for both of you as you get used to eachother's bodies. Once you guys get comfortable then you can proceed to the next step. This should be fun for you two, not full of pressure.
Go slow, and have fun.
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A
female
reader, nlieu279 +, writes (26 March 2010):
 What she is getting after you gave her the contraceptive pill was just side effects of the pill. Don't worry about it. For everything else, 1st poster already described everything :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 March 2010):
 1. It is not unusual for you to have some difficulty with erection your first time, or even the next few times. Technically, this is probably due to performance anxiety, or in other words, you are just nervous about it. I doubt that you need Viagra, you simply need to relax and lose your concerns.
2. It is equally not at all unusual for her to feel pain or discomfort the first time, and also possibly first several times. Are you aware of the hymen, a skin membrane usually just inside the vagina? Hers may still be intact and it must be broken by insertion. It will possibly hurt, and cause some bleeding, but this is typical when a young woman loses her virginity. The pain should not be unbearable, but of course as a man, I've never felt it.
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