A
female
age
36-40,
*eezy41
writes:So i was texting my coworker for almost 2 months and sometimes we were flirting and sometimes we were talking about work or trying to get to know each other. He has no girls, he does not drink like me, and he does not go out so often.Finally 2 months later he asked me out. We went on a first date. At the end, we kissed. While we were kissing, i felt that he put his hand inside my jeans and touched my butt. That's the time i pulled back and told him, im not one of those girls he can only smash me. Then left his car. He turned on his window and apologized and that he did not mean that.That night, by texr he apologized making me feel uncomfortable. 2nd day: he asked me how im doing but he wasnt texting me as much as he used to. 3rd day:: he asked me if am still mad and sounds like i dont wanna talk to him. I said:: if i did not talk to u, i would not answer his texts. He said ok. He didnt text me on the 4th day. 5th day:: it was his bday. I joked around and said happy bday. He said thank you.He stopped his texts. What should i do? Should i give a time?
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co-worker, flirt, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 December 2017):
 Believe me you are better finding out now than to have got carried away had sex with him and then watch him disappear. You had a lucky escape. His loss.
A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (22 December 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, he finally disappeared. No texts from him for 3 days!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 December 2017):
From the sound off your post it sounds like you are wasting your time. He tried his luck with you and you rejected him (good for you!). He knows he has to work with you so he wanted to check you where okay and apologize for wanting to get in to your trousers, but now I have a feeling he will fade away. If the messages are already slowing down it shows that he probably was just after a quickie with you so took you on a date. He knows now you are not in to one night stands so he will probably slowly back off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2017): If you're an American, have you seen the news about all the accusations of inappropriate sexual-behavior? Women are complaining in droves about being accosted in their workplace, or approached aggressively by men that made them feel intimidated or powerless.
One of the highest liabilities a company can face is a sexual-harassment suit! It's very difficult for the victim who will feel their job is in jeopardy; and the company's reputation becomes blighted. The workplace is not a dating-pool or a single's club. It's where you work.
What if someday he becomes your boss? If he has to discipline or fire you; what's the first thing that will come to mind? That he's trying to get rid of you out of his paranoia or spite. It's likely that would be the case.
What should you do? You shouldn't date co-workers and place yourself in situations like this. These issues will invariably carry-over into the workplace.
You are entitled to feel comfortable and safe on your job. If you have a complaint about being inappropriately touched or accosted; there should be no question of your credibility. Any legitimate complaint you make regarding unwanted advances or inappropriate touching should not be compromised by ambiguity, or his word against yours. Whether anything done that you found offensive; was consensual or not consensual.
You are both representatives of the business you work for. Their reputation sits in your hands. Both on and off the job. That's why it gets tricky.
Don't go out with the guy anymore. Don't call or accept any of his calls. Associate only professionally as co-workers. Legally, his behavior on and off the clock; is still somewhat connected to, or affiliated with your company; because they hold some limited-liability even off-site. That's why in the U.S., companies are required to provide manuals specifying company policy on conduct and work-ethics. There's no place in the world more litigious than the United States.
There is a movement and advocacy ongoing in this country about sexual-behavior of men towards women. What are you to do when you feel violated? How are you to respond? Then you have to go to work, and see this guy everyday. You can't focus on your job; because your personal issues get in the way.
Workplace-dating and romances are huge liabilities and potentially costly to your employer. Sexual-harassment is serious! Thus in the USA, federal law stipulates that companies of a certain size and number of employees are required to offer sexual-harassment and sensitivity training. With emphasis on work-place bullying, and inappropriate sexual-behavior.
If your company is in compliance with these federal requirements; you'll squirm in your seat throughout the training-seminar. Quite understandably. You trusted him to behave properly; and respect boundaries that shouldn't have to be plastered in bold-print on a billboard; because a guy should know not to just assume he can do whatever he pleases, because a woman consents to a kiss.
Now you're in a very uncomfortable and awkward predicament with a male co-worker.
Now he isn't responding; because he's not certain how you're going to react, or if this will follow him to the workplace. If he dumps you; you'll feel violated and ditched by some guy who got too aggressive with you. To top that off, he happens to see you on the job. He knows he went too far. He's paranoid about his job; and what you might say or do, because he acted so aggressively.
Discontinue calls and messaging outside of the workplace. If he approaches you, tell him you'd rather keep things professional. You also have to correct your own behavior; and not flirt with men on your job. You could be opening doors you can't shut; and like this situation, be unsure of how you should handle them.
Don't play it off one day; and then decide it was a violation when he says or does something to offend you.
He was wrong. You were correct to immediately withdraw from his vehicle. At this point, you have shown him that you're okay; but not okay with what he did. I don't advise you to socialize with this guy outside of work. A line was crossed, and you're not that sort of girl. Well, he happens to be that type of guy; so you'd be better-off not seeing him anymore. Don't play mind-games or go back and forth, because you like him. You are messing around with your job and livelihood. You are also being unprofessional and immature.
Don't date co-workers.
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