A
female
age
30-35,
*abyyblonde
writes:Alright so I've been dating my first boyfriend for a little over a year now, and we've been sexually active for a while, but we just started actually having sex a couple months ago. My problem is, I've always had a problem um... being able to lubricate myself for him. It's not that I'm not attracted to him. I am. Very. And a lot of times I really am enjoying it, and am into it mentally, it just doesn't show...um physically. And other times when we're messing around and I should feel turned on, I just don't. I really feel like my hormones are just dead. And you can imagine that my boyfriend is pretty upset about this, because it makes him feel like he's doing something wrong, that I'm not attracted, etc, and neither of us want to have to use lube forever. I'm 17 :/ it doesn't feel like this should be happening. Another thing is we've done 'it' like 6 times, and every time it has been pretty painful at first (which I know is probably slightly due to the lack of lubrication), and I've bled almost every time. I don't think this should be happening. I used to think it was a mental thing, and that I was just nervous so it kept me from getting lubed up. I also used to think that it was just part of the menstrual cycle, and that I was just horny for a couple days out of the month. But now I'm thinking that maybe the general lack of sex drive + dryness etc are part of a bigger problem maybe? not mental, but physical. could I have like low estrogen or something? I just don't think it's normal for me to have such dead teenage hormones. help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): It's not your hormones. The culprit could be one of two things:
--You're not getting enough foreplay
--You're not sexually attracted to your boyfriend
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Don't worry, please, and don't put all these crazy things in your head! The thoughts are the problem, just stop thinking and relaaaax! Forget about lubrication and it will come. You may watch some erotic movies or photos, they help to awake your sexuality. Or, it can be that the boyfriend is just not suitable for you.
I had sex when I was 18 for the first time and it was bleeding about 4-5 times, and I did't enjoy, and no lubrication and for 1 year with that boyfriend I didn't have any orgazm, but only with the 4th boyfriend I had it, only because I relaxed and was sure I was normal. So, try to practice a bit and enjoy your 17!;)))
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