A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:okay so i recently started dating this guy and he is 19 and im 15.(we have been friends for a couple of months too) which is only 4 years but i really do like him and im currently still a virgin. but everyone is telling me to sneak around and stuff to see him and he gets his license in a couple of months and wants to be able to take me out to places and evetything but i dont want to have to sneak around anf i want my parents to know because he is a good guy. but i dont know how my parents will react if i tell them...so how do i convince my parents that even though he is older he wants the best for me and that he is the good guy i have gotten to know and to make them accepting to dating him?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 January 2015):
 You think you can handle this but 4 years IS a huge gap when you are a teen and he is 19. He is way more experienced than you.
He knows all the right buttons to press to make you feel "special".
Your friends though are NOT looking out for your best interest. They are mis-advising you. It is extremely dishonourable of any one to suggest that you sneak out to see him.
Thank goodness that you don't want to sneak around like that.
Though how have you been explaining the 4 months you have been talking to this guy? That is 4 months too long to keep this friendship a secret from your parents.
If his intentions are not honourable then this could even be a case of him Grooming you for what ever else he has in mind. He has convinced you that he is a nice guy yet he's already offering the carrot that once he has his license then he can ..... ?? Your parents need to be told everything and asap.
What is the reason to mention that you are a virgin? Has he asked you if you are a virgin? You are under the legal age of consent. No guy should be showing any interest in your virginity at this point in time. It should be of no relevance for him to even know the answer to the question about virginity unless he has targeted you as interesting to him until he takes your virginity and then abandons you.
He would know that it would be illegal to do that in any case.
Your youth is special. Treasure it. Don't through it away on a 19 year old guy.
A responsible guy does not sneak around with a 15 year old who has not even told her parents about her friendship with a 19 year old.
A responsible guy is more likely to be dating a girl older than 16 and possibly older.
And even if a responsible 19 year old was dating a girl aged 18 he would visit her family and introduce himself.
Such a responsible good guy of 19 dating an 18 year old would meets her family, subject himself to what ever scrutiny the family want to put him through.
Answer any questions put to him.
Your parents care about your welfare and they too would know that this is not a level playing field.
Most guys aged 19 who are responsible GOOD guys prefer a girl who is of their own generation. Or older. A guy of 19 is a young man.
You by definition are a child under the law.
Under the age of legal consent.
A child still under the care of your parent.
So your parents do need to ne aware of who has been seeing your for 4 months and Still he has not been man enough to meet your folks and explain what it is that he is doing with a 15 year old.
Please talk to your parents about this today.
A
male
reader, BigCuz +, writes (10 January 2015):
This is how people get hurt your parents are the ones who can end up behind bars also for hurting a creep and young predator from destoying your future, why not someone his own age? Ask yourself that and understand.Too young to be even contemplating a relationship period. So he wants to take you places,where? To school, chucky cheese, builder bear work shop, pick out your easter dress, so you can be pretty, saying your easter speech?Let it go, stop fantasizing, before you turn a lot of people's lives upside down.look up the definition of pedophile while your doing your homework. SAD FUTURE IF YOU CONTINUE ON for all those who care about you and you're stuck on a 19 year old Man friend
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2015): I have once been in the same situation as you, but instead of 19, the guy was 18. Either way, he was heading off to college soon, and I was still only a freshman in high school. Let me tell you what i learned from this.
4 years may not seem like a big difference, but trust me, it is. The maturity level of someone who is in college, is a lot different than someone in high school, unless he does not go to college. If so, you might want to reconsider anyways, because he probably would not want to start a relationship with a minor (it's ILLEGAL) and will drop you once a girl his age comes along.
Maybe he is a good guy like you say, but the fact that you have to SNEAK AROUND says otherwise. If he was such a good guy, regardless of age, let your parents know. What if he wasn't? Then, at least they would know WHO you were with. It's not safe, especially once he gets a car; he could just whisk you away and no one would know. Don't listen to your friends.
I know it seems appealing to date a guy so much older than you, but I'd suggest you find someone your own age or wait until you're 18. It's a lot safer, and you might realize that this guy isn't the guy you'd want in 4 years (that's a LONG time).
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (2 January 2015):
If you want him to wind up in jail then by all means carry on with your plan.
He could (and should) be convicted of a very serious crime if he dates you. You need to understand the consequences are very severe.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 January 2015):
 I'm sorry but 15 is way different than 19 and sneaking around and lying are no ways to have a relationship.
Best way for this boy to let your parents know he's on the up and up is for him to start spending time with you and your parents in their home together.
let him come over for dinner and games or watching movies with the family consistently and let them get to know him as a person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2015): I dont think a friendship with a nineteen year old looks right.In my opinion talk to a school counselor if you think your parents wont approve.But to be honest I am a parent and I can't see this even in my dreams.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (2 January 2015):
 You know what he wants you to see. I don't doubt that he might be a nice guy and you might be quite mature compared to others your age - and it's right (and good) to want to tell your parents; that's responsible of you, but most 19 year olds who can date people their age won't consider anyone under about 17 to be relationship material because they're too young and still minors.
I understand how you feel, believe me, but him dating you isn't a good sign, no matter how nice he might be. I knew someone who didn't mean any harm, but he was 19 and became infatuated with a 15 year old he was friends with - it's not a healthy, balanced relationship. They broke up when he realised that.
If you choose to continue, you HAVE to tell your parents - no matter what their reaction might be because you need to listen to them. If they are responsible parents, they will tell you not to see him because he's too old for you and there will be a reason he's dating a minor, rather than someone his own age.
I'm sorry this isn't what you want to hear, but I can't lie to you about it because I don't want to underestimate you and sugarcoat it :/
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