A
male
age
51-59,
Anonymousmale1
writes:Happy New Year! I hope all of you enjoyed a very Happy New year and that you have stuck to the resolutions that you made during this period. I simply hope that your resolution for the New Year wasn't to give up on men because by condemning all men due to the actions of one is foolish.As I have said before and I will state it again, "There are good men out there for each and every one of you." The problem most times is that women tend to settle and at times you settle for the wrong guy.With that said, I figured today I would give you a list that will make the wrong men a little less harder to identify. Hopefully this list will be beneficial to you and your friends and assist you ladies in narrowing down the search for true love, unconditional love.So ladies, grab a cup of coffee or your favorite drink and lets look at the 10 Things that Screams, He's a Dog!" Hopefully you'll find it entertaining, insightful and educational.10 Situations that Scream, "He's a Player!"Lesson #1:He asks for your phone number and you just met:If this happens to you or has happened to you the results were probably less than positive. You're so excited that this cute guy whom you have just only met is interested in you, wow! However, during this excitement you failed to think about several important elements.OK, you know you're beautiful (or you should anyway) and if this guy is so cute or handsome, why doesn't he have a girlfriend? Or does he? Now that you have time to think and breath, think about this. If he asks for your number, the chances that he already is involved with someone raises significantly. By obtaining your number, he can control when he talks to you without running the risk of being found out by his significant other.Another thing that most women fail to recognize immediately is that he possibly didn't ask if you were in a relationship. If you are and he still requested the number, he has little respect for you, your mate and the sacred right of being in a monogamous relationship.However, if you are in a relationship and you even entertained the idea of giving him your number then you too have little respect for the above.During this exciting faze you also probably overlooked the ease that it took for him to ask you, a woman that he doesn't know for your number. What you should have thought automatically was that, he's done this before and has had a lot of practice. Which means that you're not as special to him as you think, in reality you're simply available at this time.Think about these things the next time someone you don't know or barely know asks for your number, there are many things you should think about beside the fact that he's cute or not.If you are unattached and actually a little interested, try this to balance things out. Instead of giving him your number, ask if it is possible that you can have his number instead. This serves two purposes, one being that if you're interested you don't have to sit around waiting to see if he will call. Also, meeting men is like buying a dress. It looked good in the store, however when you get home you may not like it as much. So by getting his number you don't have to worry about avoiding his calls if you change your mind later.Above all this, by asking him for his number you get the opportunity to watch his body language and actions. If he has a significant other he'll probably give you some lame excuse about how he lost his cell phone so you should call his mothers house or his home phone. All the while he'll begin to fidget as he tries to weasel his way through a load of B.S.Regardless, if you take the number and call him and another woman answers the phone, don't hang up. If she asks who you are, tell her the truth, that being that he asked you to call him. If she says that she is his wife or girlfriend, explain to her that you meant no harm and had he informed you that he was attached you would not have accepted the number. End the conversation by apologizing for the call and inform her that you will not be calling again. Be polite and place yourself in her shoes, how would you feel. If she asks questions, answer them as best you can and overlook her rudeness because it will change from anger to thankfulness in a matter of minutes. You have nothing to hide and you just met him so you also have nothing to lose. She's really not mad at you anyway, it's him that her anger is directed at as it should be.Lesson # 2: He's trying to impress you with his Car:Cars! There I said it. Some men still think that if they have a nice car that they can have any woman that they chose. It's as though this automobile instantly transforms them into a chick magnet and it gives them the courage to approach any woman without fear of rejection.Sounds crazy doesn't it? However, crazy things work too in the world of men. It appears funny that any man would equate what he drives with his ability to attract women, but sadly it many times works!How many times have you and your girlfriends driven through the park on a nice sunny day because you know that men will be out waxing their cars? In cities all across the U.S., when spring arrives, the sun begins to shine and the flowers and tress start to bloom, young people flock to parks everywhere. Girls in shorts walk through the grass as young men shirtless, wax their pride and joy while music blasts out of their sound systems.Unfortunately, before actually seeing the guy women actually notice the car and it becomes a magnet and at the least a reason to start up a conversation.We've all pretty much done this at some point in our young life. Hell, my very first vehicle out of High School was a pristine British Sports car and second to the fact that I was a College Basketball player this car played a big part in the amount of women that scored with.Today, nothing has changed. I listened in as my son and his friends harped on and on about how when they were old enough they were going to by Mercedes, Lexus and Corvettes because they knew that this would help them with the ladies.Not all women are that gullible to date a man based on his mode of transportation, however unfortunately there are some. So when you are in a conversation with a man and he attempts to steer you in the direction of asking him what he drives, you now know why? His aim is to impress you with 22" rims and a sound system to die for, all in the hopes that it will make him appear worthy enough to separate you from your clothes.I say this because chances are that he loves that car more than he will ever possibly love you. Why? Because that car makes him popular and it attracts young immature women who don't know any better and because they don't he can have his way with them. Can you do that for him? Or better yet, would you? I didn't think so.So the next time you look at the car first and the guy second, think about this, you're not the only woman that could possibly fall into this trap and he knows it too. Lesson # 3: You live in the same town, but after two months he still hasn't introduced you to his family:When you fall in love you really want to share that feeling with everyone. Friends, family and the whole damn world is supposed to share in your bliss. Men are the same as women in this respect, with the exception that they tend to introduce you to their friends first.Note: We do this because we want them to envy us over just how damn beautiful you are!Once we've wallowed in that ecstasy and gotten not only our friends seal of approval we tend to feel it's time for you to meet the family. This entire process shouldn't take any longer than 30 days. Because in the beginning of a relationship we tend to spend every waking moment with you allowing us the opportunity to see you from all sides. If you're a keeper, you'll meet the family right around the 60 day mark, barring that they actually live in the same area code, if not it could be a little bit longer.If you and your man have been together for longer than 60 days and he hasn't introduced you to family and friends all of whom live in the same city, you have a problem you might want to address.Unfortunately men don't introduce the woman they profess love of to people that they are related to or friends with for the following reasons: 1) they feel differently about the relationship then they are actually telling you. 2) you are not the only woman they have; 3) for whatever reason they are uncomfortable with you, your looks, weight, color etc; 4) they are not planning on keeping you around; 5) he is simply using you.I am sorry to have to tell you those things but it's the truth. Think about it, when you meet a nice guy, you probably cannot wait to share your happiness with friends and family, right? Men are no different unless he's guilty of one of the above reasons for not performing the introductions.However, if he's a dog like I once was, it is also possible that he cannot introduce you to his mom until he's positively sure you are the one. Here's why; you bring too many women home to meet your mom and she automatically knows whom you've become as a man. Mothers are quick to acknowledge the obvious and have been known to inform their sons not to bring another woman home to meet her unless it is his wife! I know this because I received this exact instruction from my mom after replacing several girlfriends in a short period of time.Mothers are women too, and although they love their sons they seldom condone the type of behavior that many of us display in regards to the women we date. The next time i took a woman home with me was years later and yes, she was my wife and remains my wife to this day.Lesson # 4: You've met his male friends but none of their girlfriends:Why would a man whom professes his love for you take you out to bars to meet his male friends and none of their girlfriends or wives are present? Because there is a good chance that his friends girlfriends or wives don't know one another either.Women talk to one another and trust me, the last thing he wants is to introduce you to his friends girl on the chance that she may say, "You do know he has another girlfriend too?" He also doesn't want to run the risk of you becoming friends with women whom know what he's really like and his past. The past he wants you to hear is the one that he fabricates for your ears only.Oh, and by the way where are his friends girlfriends? They're at home or out with friends just as you will be months later when he decides to go out with his friends. So prepare yourself to be isolated and alone in this relationship just as his friends girlfriends are as well.Oh, and he only introduced you to his friends to boast about the new girl he just obtained for his collection. Lesson # 5: His female cousin give you strange looks:Not every girl that you see is going to be related to him. Regardless of what he says some of them are either ex's or friends and relatives of ex's that he's known for years. Occasionally, you'll meet a cousin and she'll give you a strange look too, but that really because she's trapped. She's trapped between her loyalty to him as his relative and her bond with you as a member of the female race. She will at times give you a look that you interpret as disapproval, however it's really a warning sign. She hopes that this simply gesture will cause you concern enough to question it. The sad thing is women rarely do, and when they do they question it to their man who is quick to point out that his cousin is always like that and she doesn't like anyone. He may even tell you that she is like that because he used to date her best friend and since the break-up she likes none of his girlfriends.The next time you stumble into a situation like this, don't run from it. Befriend her and more than likely she'll try to protect you and if you become close enough she'll tell you everything you really need to know about him.Lesson # 6: When you leave his apartment he always reminds you of something you almost left behind:You ever been in a relationship and while leaving after spending the night he runs out to the car or calls you on your cell phone to remained you that you left something behind? Did this happen on more than one occasion?If it did occur to you it was probably something insignificant to you, something you could do without for the day such as a brush, comb, eye liner, or scrunchy. The reason I say this is because generally it'll be something that only a woman would have and the reason he doesn't want you to leave it behind is so that no one else will see it and question him.If he has allowed you to leave a tooth brush there, you'll notice that the next time you arrive it'll be neatly placed away out of sight. You can bet it won't be on the counter in the holder next to his where you left it days before.These are all classical signs that you are not the only woman that he entertains there and he wants no questions about who else has been spending time with him. The easiest way to assure himself that this will not happen is to sanitize the place upon each female departing.Women notice anything that seems out of place and for a bachelor to have a female hair brush in his cabinet or a hair bow could lead to loads of questioning.So if you haven't been in this type of situation yet, hopefully you'll be able to identify it if it happens to you.Lesson # 7:He lives alone, but he has feminine hygiene products in his bathroom:Men who deal with a plethora of women are like Boy Scouts, they are always prepared. You go to his place and you'll find everything from feminine hygiene products, bikinis, Teddy's and more in several different colors styles and sizes.Ever went to a guys house for the first time and he asked if you'd like to go swimming? Of course you didn't bring a bikini because you had no idea that this was a possibility, right? Well when he asked, it was really a loaded question to begin with.You see the idea is this, we generally ask after you've had several drinks so your inhibitions have lowered. He's hoping that it's at the point where he can convince you that you really don't need one since it's only you and him. He's hoping that you agree since you already told him you like to swim. However, if you balk at this skinny dipping opportunity he'll change up on you and offer you a t-shirt to cover yourself (which we all know becomes transparent once wet, right?).If you balk at this offer as well he'll suddenly remember that his cousin (female of course) purchased a couple of bikinis and left them before she ever had a chance to wear them and lucky for you they just might be in your size. Now lets go swimming!It's funny now, but in reality this whole thing was simply an exercise in separating you from your clothes and in a mans mind, less is more.When living alone and dealing with multiple women men have been known to have products to cover any situation that may arise in the course of an evening, however when you live with him he has to constantly run to the store because he's seldom prepared for anything, go figure.So you go to his apartment and he has battery sizes for every single sex toy you could imagine, live with him and during a power outage he has to go to the store to get batteries for a flashlight, ha,ha. I know, I spend more time now jaunting back and forth to pick up things that years ago I kept in stock in the back of my closet as a single man.Lesson # 8:He never spends a full night at your place:Ever have that guy who is kind, gentle and treats you like a queen? You call him and he comes running to bring you whatever you need or request. However, when he comes over to spend time with you he never spends a complete night. He may stay and make love to you until you're both exhausted but before 5 am he's whispering that he has to get up and go home.He'll give you all types of excuses about having a big meeting that morning or having to let his dog out, or how he simply cannot get comfortable enough in your bed to fall completely asleep.You can't go to his house because he has already laid the ground work by telling you that he either lives with his Mom, or has a apartment full of room mates and either way it's disrespectful for you to be placed in that type of situation. Right?However, if you examine these statement a little closer you'll discover they may not be true at all. He may not actually live with his mom, and yeah he may share an apartment with several room mates but he also may have someone else that expects him to be a certain place at certain times, like with her.If he can't get comfortable in your bed, hell, ask him to purchase one for your place that he can get comfortable in. If you and he are really in a monogamous relationship then there is really no excuse for his inability to spend complete nights with you if this is what you'd like. It's nice to be able to see the person you love when you wake up laying beside you. To be able to share breakfast together and begin your day together before you depart for work and the stress it may entail.Lesson # 9:He suddenly becomes busy during the weeks that you have your menstrual:When you are in a relationship but you don't live together it leaves plenty of time to get into things that you shouldn't. Sometimes women provide even more free time to men whom are already roaming freely and unsupervised by making this simple statement; "Oh, I just started my period, so you can go out with friends if you want."Women, you make this statement you simply tell your man that you feel that he only comes by when you can make love to you and that you're alright with this fact.Menstrual or not he should be with you, don't you think. If sex is the only reason he comes by then quite frankly you don't have much of a relationship to begin with.So if he choses not to come around during this time of the month, just because you may be out of commission doesn't meant other women are and this may be his opportunity to play with them, and your statement may have just made it easier. Lesson # 10:He will not hold hands with you in public:Some people consider holding hands or other public displays of affection childish behavior. It's not, it is really a sign of togetherness, being a couple, in a relationship. Now I don't mean going to the mall and groping one another or displaying long wet kisses, I mean small pecks and occassionally holding hands.If the guy you are dating tells you that he simply doesn't like holding hands, he's full of shit. Holding hands for men goes back to our grade school days and we enjoy it just as much as you do. It's our little way of letting all other men know that you are not only with us, but you are ours.When a man says that he doesn't like to hold hands or appears uncomfortable holding hands with you, chances are that he doesn't want anyone to know that you two are an item. Remember, it's easy to explain to your real girlfriend or wife that I went to the mall with a female friend. However, it's hard to explain that smae situation when we were spotted holding hands while we walked through the mall.I find it interesting that women don't find it odd that the same man who cannot keep his hands off of you behind closed doors is uncomfortable touching you in public. You should always question this behavior.It's like dating the guy that when you first began talking told you how much he enjoyed going to the movies and now that you're together he refuses to take you. How is that possible? Or the guy who only comes to your house late at night, but never takes you out in public.How else do you explain this behavior? He's either in another relationship as well, or ashamed of being seen with you in public (because of your height, weight, ethnicity, nationailty, etc.) There I said it, but either way, you deserve better! So send his sorry selfish, inmature ass packing and find yourself a real man. Find a man that cannot keep his hands off you in private and in public because that's what love does, it makes us want to be one!Well, I gotta run again. I hope something I wrote can be used by you or someone you know. If something above has been identified by you in your own relationship, I hope you have the strength, courage and self respect to correct it.
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best friend, cousin, flowers, immature, period, player, roommate, sex toy, trapped Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Two years later and I am Still recommending this Great Article. every girl dating should read it.
The detailing of a player is done so well.
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (24 June 2011):
Some of these are definitely signs of a player. Lesson #6 and #8 in particular are player warning signs.However, there are some big player signs that this article misses, and some of the items here aren't necessarily signs of a player at all.Missed - A player will frequently have a delayed response when you text him, OR he will frequently use his phone when he's with you. If there are delays it means that when he's with other women he doesn't use his phone, and thus can't respond right away. If there are no delays then he will probably be using his phone right in front of you to respond to other women as they text him. A non-player puts his phone away when he's with you, and when he's not with you he will respond quickly the majority of the time.Another sign of a player - he will frequently ask you out on a last-minute basis. Why? Because plans with another girl fell through, so he's suddenly available. A player will go down "the list" until he finds a date for the evening.Finally, since a player is after sex, if you make it clear from the start that yes you enjoy sex but it takes some time for you to feel the relationship has developed enough to start enjoying sex, a player will hit the eject button. Players will do some work to get sex, but not a lot. They want it almost right away.Now, these are Lessons listed here that ARE NOT necessarily signs of a player.#1 - He asks for your number right away. This is obvious, really. If a guy wants your number it means he is interested in you, nothing more. It doesn't tell whether he is a player or a "good guy". If I meet a woman at the bank, grocery store... wherever, and I like her, what choice do I have? I have to ask for her #, right? Of course!!! If I don't I have to hope I run into her a second time? That's a recipe for a guy who is forever single. As much as it seems the do sometimes, women don't read minds, and guys aren't omniscient. If we like a girl, we need to ask for her number... she's not just going to volunteer it.#2 - This lesson describes a shallow, immature guy, or a guy with more money than class. Are some players that way? Sure. But so are guys who are just socially inept. So it is probably a sign of a guy you may want to avoid, but not necessarily a sign that he's a player.#3 - Putting time frames on family introductions is just not possible. Guys move at different speeds. I'm no player, but I'm very selective and it takes me a while to fall in love. I'm not going to introduce every woman I date for a month or two to mom and dad. Just not gonna happen. It doesn't mean I don't like her, it just means I haven't gotten to that point yet. I also have a daughter, so I'm very careful to learn as much about a woman as I can before making that introduction, as children can grow attached very easily.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (13 June 2011):
Once again I need to refer this Great Article to an OP.
Anonymousmale1 thankfully I always remember your name - making it easier for me to find this and your other great articles.
Anonymousmale1 you contribute really great expertise to this site,
Thanks,
Abella.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 May 2011):
I am recommending this fantastic article to an OP along with several of your other articles. You continue to provide a wonderful resource in Dear Cupid with great articles in DC like this one
Thank you for your great advice
Regards
Abella
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A
male
reader, Jay8159 +, writes (28 January 2010):
You need to learn to investigate. I do. If you look online, you will find the right sites- Every person wants a quick "GOOGLE HELP"- thinking you trust the first 10... BS. Look and beware! I have! I was messed over once and have learned he hard way- Sorry about what happened. You do not have to spend a penny if YOU LOOK!You need to look at every person everytime. If you knew me, I would expect you to compare things and research.
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