A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I'm 24 years old and I've gone from one half-relationship to the next, but never had ONE proper boyfriend, i.e. someone I was officially with. I find it very humiliating as it is, but to make it worse, there's this guy I had some kind of fling with some months ago now. He is a very normal guy, kind, handsome, he's had quite a few girlfriends. We would just meet and have sex and have dinner...I was having a good time and he was too, but nothing serious, I wasn't his girlfriend. He moved away and I kept seeing him from time to time for a couple of months, until one day, he let me know he'd found a real girlfriend whom he wanted to settle down with. This was 8 months ago now, and it crushed me so much that I find myself having feelings for him still. I feel so inferior to him, to his girlfriend, it's like they both have something I don't even deserve. They're just so lucky, and I feel so lonely and pathetic with my feelings. It kills me to picture them together, happy. I feel like I'm not worthy of him at all, and of course, he stopped caring about what I think a long time ago now. What can I do? What is wrong with me that I can't find one single guy on this planet who thinks I'm worthy of being his girlfriend?
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male
reader, Extra-Ordinary  +, writes (18 April 2011):
Everyone's got something special about themselves, so there's no way there anything 'wrong' with you. Everybody will have their flings but no one will have a relationship if there is no common interest. Be appealing by showing your sophisticated side, your sense of fashion, a great talent, or whatever will positively display your personality. A boy-FRIEND or a girl-FRIEND, in my eyes, is someone who is worthy of being a friend, but better, so attracting them should feel natural. The two of you have to be able to connect and have fun or something to pass the time with something other than sex. If you don't want sex to be the focus of a relationship, then let it be a special engagement instead of a practice. Make the sex mean something and keep it sensual. Give them the best, yet most emotional sex of their life. if you want someone to connect to and live with, you have to be the friend in girlfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): You know people find confidence sexy, feeling sorry for yourself is just going to leave you at home missing chances to meet mr. right, also perhaps don't put yourself out there as a casual sex partner people will only see you as a casual sex partner and not girlfriend material. Go out meet some people, find love not lust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): Dont sell yourself short. If you are happy with sex and a dinner, thats all you will ever get. Have expectations and dont settle for less. Dont give yourself away for a meal! Its things like that which will make you feel bad about yourself. You are worth so much more. Until you see that, no one else will. Theres a book about dating and how to make it work for you. I cant remember the name of the author but its called Why Men Love Bitches from Doormat to Dream Girl. Its a good read and explains why a lot of dating goes wrong for some women. Try finding it because i think it would help you.
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A
male
reader, analogue +, writes (18 April 2011):
I'm sure you're fine. The problem is that you're settling for less when you want more. Don't compromise yourself and your feelings. If that guy was just satisfied sleeping with you and going out to dinner then he wasn't for you. You know what you have to offer to the right person. Lift your head up. :) You're young you have plenty of time to meet the right person. Haha, I'm 29 and I haven't found the right person yet either. In fact I'm very similar to you. You can read about my so called "love" life on this front page too. :) Use this time to work on personal goals and things that you want in life. Be productive. It'll only help you in the long run.
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