A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Idk what to do in order for him to tell me his information. He´s very secretive.The thing is we met like a year ago , he´s Air force and we did made click when we met,we flirted but we didn´t actually had any chance to do anything cuz he left short afterwards.But we had kept in touch, since then.Everytime I email him he replies inmediately, and take the chance to update me on his life.He´s very complex to me, more like intriguing and enigmatic. The things I know about him are bcuz the people who worked with him had told me.He sometimes share thoughts and a little of his information with me (logically after meeting twice, it´s a miracle he actually does)I do know he´s with someone else, and inclusivelly he has children from a previous marriage. He mentions his kids and when they visit him. We had share photos of each other but he doesn´t show me his kids (I guess he wants to protect them and it´s normal. I know I would do the same so I don´t even question that)But I like him, maybe he doesn´t feel the same, but I would really love to know him a bit more as to become good friends.I have met several guys who came after he left (military) and they share info about their families actually as something normal and nothing to hide.Idk,he shares but at the same time it´s like he withdraws. He even told me when he was getting deployed 2 months ago. I did told him I care about him and he said he was definitely be in touch.Well, he´s back and he wrote me a single line saying "How are things down there?"I feel so stupid cuz I replied back saying I missed hearing about him and that I even consider him a very very dear friend, but he didn´t said anything.I´m not waiting for him. I never did, I guess a girl just feel stuff for the wrong one, like if we could actually choose with whom you can fall for, I know life would be easier if it can be that way!I do remember asking him about his bday but he didn´t answer me about that, so I feel ashame asking him anymore.Sometimes I wonder if it´s worth to even have him as a friend. What can I tell him in order for him to open up to me or at least to know if he´s just doing it to be polite or what and why is he like that after 1 year!!
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female
reader, honestheart  +, writes (17 April 2008):
I wouldn't bother. You are doing all the running. Does he eve contact you without you contacting him first. It seems to me his responses to you are very neautral out of respect for his family. He may feel uncomfortable about his wife and family getting the wrong impression. He obviously knows you like him and is worried what you would say should you be confronted. I feel he is just staying out of touch out of politeness. Perhaps it would be best to mpve on and find some different friends. There are plenty of soldiers out their who would love to receive letters and regular contact. There are websites where you can find out how to contact them and perhaps this is the best solution for now. Just don't get too attached.
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