A
female
age
41-50,
*icnac
writes:I need help. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 18mths now and well it has been a up and down relationship. There are times when I have done nothing wrong and get shouted at which then leads to an arguement and something in the house being smashed, Normally its a photo or a glass of water but always me that cleans it up so that him or my son do not cut themselves. He is also very selfish in always wanting to go out to the bar even tho I am tired or dont want too and if I say no he goes in a foul mood and calls me every name under the sun. To make things worse, I have just found out that his best friend who is blind and an absolute gentleman has fallen in love with me. He keeps saying he has no idea why I am still with my partner and should leave him but I dont know if it is because he wants me or not. He really is a lovely man but even if I did leave my boyfriend I dont know how i would cope with a mn who was blind. I love him to bits but as a friend, not as a lover. I keep feeling tho that if I leave my partner at least i would have someone else to be with. I dont like feeling like this at all and dont know what to do. I do really like his friend but as i say i just dont know what to do. Please help me with this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): You just said you like the blind guy as a friend..not a lover. So don't lead him on. He has enough to deal with. And your partner is a bad influence on your son. If you don't want your son to grow up & treat women that way, you better leave now. The guy sounds like a loser. But do it for you & your son, not because you may have a back up plan in a blind man. You sound co-dependent, like you think you need a man to be happy. You don't, & you're not happy now. Leave him & be single until you find a man who respects you & is someone who treats your son well, and who he can look up to.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (19 June 2007):
 If you are sure you don't want to be with your partner then end it. There is no point in forcing yourself to be unhappy. You need to do that for you, and you alone. After that see how you feel about the blind friend. He may be independant and may not need to lean on you at all for help. If you really do not have romantic feelings for him then don't get with him just because he cares about you and you don't want to be on your own!
xxxxx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 June 2007):
 There are two issues here. Do you want to stay with your current partner? If the answer is no then you should leave regardless of whether you have another romantic option. If you do love him then you need to get him some help with his anger issues. If you don't love him you need to leave but don't take the blind friend into account. You should be doing it for you. If it's meant to work out with the blind guy then it will in time, but not straight on the rebound of your relationship withyour current man. Blind people have many tools that make them self sufficient these days and it's definitely not as hard to be blind now as it used to be, but it will be more challenging than a "normal" relationship. I would seriously concentrate on your current relationship before throwing yourself headfirst into another one though. Good luck.
CD
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