A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for close to 4 years now (last 2 years have been long distance). Couple of months ago, she told me she wanted to break up with me - to cut a long tale short, it turned out that this was because she had had sex with another guy. She told me later that she could not tolerate doing this to me and felt guilty and hence wanted to break up.Since I really loved her and knew that she loved me too, I thought that maybe we could work on us and move on past this betrayal. She did her part - she was always there, she admitted guilt, cried over her actions and even though we were not perfect, did not blame me for her actions - though we did try and understand what lead her to seek solace in another guy. She also spent a lot of money, time and effort to make a trip to where I was in order to make us work.After all of this, I still cannot get the act that she committed out of my head. I know I love her, and I always thought that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, But now, after the betrayal, I am unsure if I should go through this agony. I am unable to get the act out of my mind and even though I want to forgive and forget and move on, I cannot. Although she says she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me and that she is truly sorry for her actions - I cannot get myself to believe her. I believe that if I could remain honest and faithful through these years, she could have too. She chose to do what she did - it was not something that happened (she had an affair with a guy for 2 months - from friends to kissing to making out to sex, it was not a one-night stand). We have lost our virginities to each other and she is the only girl I have ever been with. She had 2 boyfriends before me, but things were not very serious with them. I am unsure if I should spend the rest of my life with her (planning to get married soon!) or if I should cut this relationship off altogether. Still cannot get over the fact that she cheated on me!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Do whatever makes you happy, If you love her, stay with her, everyone deserves a second chance, pain will fade with time if she does it again end it, do not allow yourself to be treated as a doormat.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Yup, I'm afraid you need to end this relationship. Your feelings about what she did will not go away. It is impossible to be in a relationship with someone you do not trust.
So end it. It's better for both of you.
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