A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my best friend for 5 years (she is a female). She is openly gay, where as i am not, if i wasnt with her i would be with a man, but i love and care for her deeply. I have recently turned 35 and im scared that what i want in life is a family, and marriage, but i just cant stop how im feeling about my girlfriend. Nobody apart from a few friends know about us, as that is the way i want it to be, not her. I know im being selfish, but i cannot imagiane not being with her, but on the flip side i dont want to have regrets later in life of the choices i have made. I have been worrying about this so much i am making myself ill.
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Have you talked to your girlfriend about this at all? Tell her how much you love her and want to be with her. Then tell her your desire for a family. She may understand. See what she suggests. She may say that you should find a man in your life to fullfill that desire.This does not necessarily mean that you would have to give her up. Look up polyamory. If both of you are open to it may work for you. If you find the right man, the three of you could be a family together. She may suggest that the 2 of you look to a sperm bank so that you can get impregnated, but remain your own family unit. There are many possibilities. I think that rather that stress over this like it would be a rejection of her, you need to talk to her and see what she thinks of how you can fullfill your dream to have a child. Hopefully the 2 of you can find a solution that is compatable to both of you.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Destiny is not in our hands.
Whatever comes, we just have to accept it.
Allow yourself to flow where the currents take you.
Leave it to fate and stop worrying and just enjoy each day as it comes.
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