A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've met my now girlfriend 6 months ago. We met on a Friday night, out at a bar, after quite a few drinks. We talked, ended up back at a mutual friends house, and kissed goodnight. The next morning we exchanged numbers, exchanged texts the next day...That night after we met, I was out with friends, and met up with someone that was a friend up mine (in a group of friends I have, and who I had a sexual past with, that we hooked up twice, over a year ago) and we ended up kissing that night. Woke up the next day and after a few hours passed, I ended up texting and meeting up with my now girlfriend, and since that day, I've never been happier. We've had an honest relationship, talked about people we've slept with, etc... I have never lied to her. So she knows that this girl that is my friend, that I slept with over a year the girl that I have no interest in her. I have never given her a reason to think that she isn't the one for me. My question is, since we weren't a couple, or even gone on a first date, do I have to tell her that I kissed this girl the night before our first date? I feel like I've cheated, but I didn't go on a date with my now girlfriend yet. I want to be honest, but is there a level of being too honest? I was drunk, not that its an excuse, but was in a state of mind thinking like a single guy that I was, not knowing if I'd ever hear from my now, girlfriend. I asked a friend, he told me I was crazy for worrying about doing something before I even went on a date with my girlfriend. She understands my friendship with this person. We don't hang out or anything the two of us, but we are friends and will chat in a group setting just because our families know each other.Is there a level of being too honest? Is it better to just forget about it and let it go?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It happened before her time, there's no reason to tell her. You didn't cheat on her because you two just met and were in the process of getting to know each other.
The girl was just a one night stand, she means absolutely nothing to you and it happened while you were still a single guy. So why tell her? If you tell her you risk her having retroactive jealousy and thus putting strain on the trust in this relationship. There's no need to own up to this act, when it doesn't even concern your current relationship. That's like sitting there and listing all your girlfriends, and hook-ups. The past is the past, let it stay there. Move forward with your relationship and don't look back.
Your friend is right on this one, keep it to yourself.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 i think your taking things out of context. you werent actually going out with her at the time so its in the past ok it was the day before but thats got nothing to do with your now relationship. you just feel bad you ddnt tell her. their is such a thing as bad karma and if you bring it up she may or may not take it well depends on her. to behonest you ddnt cheat you werent going out. so i dont see the problem. i wouldnt say anything as it is not relevant. if you want to tell your gf everything and anything about you sure go ahead but i dont personally think its worth it. focus on the future and not on the past! good luck aphex
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): You did not cheat. I don't see any reason to tell her, you might open a can of worms or she simply won't care. I understand wanting to share everything with her, but there is no reason to give her doubt in your honest relationship
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