A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship, it's been long distance for 3 months but the whole relationship has been 5 months. My boyfriend never really texts me like he used to, he's changed and acts more like in a friend who's a girl. He won't reply back sometimes for a long time and he never calls me. He would rather play his computer games than text me back, we use to talk till the early hours of the morning but now he say " goodnight" at 9pm. He doesn't work, he's unemployed... I tried talking to him about his behaviour n he says " men are allowed to be distant, it's just how men are.. I still love u".. Everytime I bring the topic up he gets annoyed, he always acts defensive and not reassuring... I tried splitting up with him but he was like no " I love you, when you relocate to my hometown ull see that I love u"..... Personally I think he's a liar, I think deep down he's still in love with his ex. I'm just there to fill his empty space. He said that his ex slips up with him cause she wanted to move to another country but I don't think that's the case. I think there's more to the story... He acts like a selfish person, seems like he only texts me when he's bored.... I don't want to be with him anymore, I don't want to relocate for him... What should I do? What should I say to him? Should I slowly distance myself away from him by not replying to him? ... He's a hard one to break up with? ... I feel like I've been made to be a fool by him and I don't trust what he says anymore..:-(
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his ex, I love you, liar, long distance, text, video games Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): ***just an UPDATE***
It's been two days now since I took the advice of backing off him slowly. He hasn't bothered to text me first at all.. I text him once, the convo only lasted a few texts... He hasn't asked me how I am at all n I feel like if I didn't text he wouldn't bother texting me first...does this mean we are over? should I not bother texting at all now? ... If he does text me n ask why I ain't been texting, what should I say?
Appreciate the help
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 November 2012):
 Hi
In other words you have let him convince you to stick around...what would happen IF you did move, gave up your life to be with him. What if you were miserable and he just treated you like a doormat,somebody to replace his ex?
He is unemployed - is he looking for work,even a part-time job? Do you work and if so would you have a job to go to if you move?
Just think long and hard about how you see yourself in a year or 2, if you want marriage,children.
If you WANT to stop being attached just simply cut all contact and then take it a day at a time,you'll get over him in time.
IF you can't imagine life without him well, move,and see how it works out...your choice,your life and without the long distance thing it might work,who knows?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): Hi guys thank you so much for your feedback...your all right....i just text him telling him how i feel and he wrote "im sick of you asking me these questions all, i need to think"..i said "whats there to think about if you love me"..n he goes "if you dont stop asking these questions, i swear ill fucking walk away"..n then i said "so ud give up on us this easy"..he was like "yeah its hurt to lose you but i would cause u dont believe that i love u"....so yet again ive just brushed it over n were still a couple... i dont have the guts to tell him im leaving, i know thats bad...in all honesty i just want to do the disappearing act but i dont think it will work... what should i do and what should i be thinking?...how do u get rid of the attached feeling?
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A
female
reader, peteloevely +, writes (9 November 2012):
 i am glad you realised it on time, if his mood is like this now he doesn't have you quiet yet, can you imagine how is he gone treat you when he does have you? When you are trapped on his nest?
wise girl, not don’t let his emotional blackmail stop you from moving on.
it is just another emotional trick, so he says he is allow to be emotionally distant and neglectful and he is also telling you should take it and be quiet... at the same time he is stopping you from breaking up by becoming all cling film on you when you do try to put an end to think.
be firm cut the tie loose, be harsh and a little bit selfish, and once you have said i don't want to be with you just let him txt you begging for forgiveness and another chance, and don’t succumb to texting back or arguing your position just let him throw his tantrum, let him call you text you email you or whatever else until he feels your indifference. it is harsh but he will get the message.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (9 November 2012):
Hi
I don't blame you for not wanting to move or for ending it. He is not exactly making you feel secure and wanted.
He isn't in your town so as you communicate via the Net just tell him its over,your not relocating then immediately block him,delete his number and ignore any texts or phone calls.No contact.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): "I don't want to be with my long distance B/f anymore, I feel he's a liar and I don't want to relocate for him. What should I do?"Break up with him. "What should I do?"Break up with him by ceasing to communicate with him."What should I say to him?"Nothing. "Should I slowly distance myself away from him by not replying to him?"No, you should quickly distance yourself from him by not replying to him." ... He's a hard one to break up with?"Because "he tells you he loves you" while doing absolutely nothing to prove it, in fact goes out of his way to SHOW you that HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU."... I feel like I've been made to be a fool by him and I don't trust what he says anymore..:-( "He has made a fool of you, and you shouldn't believe anything he says, ESPECIALLY when "tells you he loves you." He's lying. (Not up on my emoticons, please insert throwing up emoticon here).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): Break up with him cause he's being so inconsiderate of your feelings.
Well, before breaking up with him try talking about it with him one last time. If he gives you the same reaction then it's obvious what you should do.
Relocating is a HUGE deal, and you should not go through with it unless you are 100% sure.
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