A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a very happy, fairly long term relationship with a man, but I can't get the fantasy of sex with a woman out of my head. I dont see myself as bisexual, and I dont want to have a relationship with a woman, I just want to have a sexual experience with a woman. I'm scared as I dont know how to even go about attempting to have this experience. Obviously I would never dream of having this experience whilst I'm with my boyfriend, but even when we split up (which I'm aware that we will fairly soon) I dont know how to meet a woman. As I dont see myself as bisexual or lesbian I dont see a reason to tell my friends. I know its silly but in my mind I want to dissapear to foreign country or city and secretly have this experience and then come home. But as I'm a poor student this is extremely unrealistic.I feel like I should be allowed to have this sexual experience as it's something I've desired for a long time. Any advice as to handle this would be great.
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female
reader, I_Is_A_Duck +, writes (31 July 2012):
You could just be sexually bicurious.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 It's simple. If you're in a relationship you're in a relationship. Don't want to break up? Well then stick to the heterosexual life as you know it. Want a gay experience? Then leave the heterosexual relationship.
Don't know what to do? Carry on this relationship then until you figure it out. But it is MUCH better to end the relationship than get tempted, feel guilty, or possibly end up cheating. You mentioned that you and your boyfriend will part ways soon.. do you mean that you will end the relationship? If so, why delay it? Just get it out of your way. The first step to take if you want experience with girls is to be SINGLE.
Then, once you're single, you can come back here to ask advice on how to chat up women. But basically it is done the same way you chat up guys: you flirt with them, dance with them, smile at them, ask them out. It's not that difficult. But just like with boys, girls might no be interested. Doesn't mean you should give up though, you just got to keep trying. Most of my girl on girl experienced happened on chance though, nothing planned. I would happen to be at a party, notice a girl checking me out, and then things would just happen without me being out actively looking for it to happen. In my experience, lesbians are hunters as well, they chat up ladies, they don't just sit and wait for you to come talk to them. You just got to make sure you're available when the chance comes.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 July 2012):
 You're contradicting yourself. How can a happy long-term relationship with a guy also be on the verge of splitting up? Which is it? Do you want to break up with your boyfriend, or do you want to stay with him?
My only advice is -- don't even think about cheating. I'm sure you would not like it if your boyfriend had sex with another man (or woman, for that matter) behind your back.
Otherwise, if you're single, a woman is a person. Just go to where you know that lesbians are, or take out an online ad. No one likes to be used for sex.
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