A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Background:Girl and me, said we loved each other, she said she needed space, gave her space for 1 month, she broke the silence by sending me a heart. I said she was beautiful and to tell me what she wanted, only friends, nothing more. I then messaged her saying I missed her. I heard nothing from her until Saturday (3 weeks later) when she dropped me a message, we started talking, but the whole conversation revolved around her and her problems. She asked nothing directly about anything I had been doing apart from her initial message of 'How are you?'As soon as I mentioned something to do with myself she didn't reply...It's now 3 days later since our convo. I really loved this girl, I don't feel that strongly now cause she has really hurt me. I want to speak with her but she wants everything on her terms, I don't want to message her for her to not reply (again!).It's as if whenever I want to speak she won't reply but as soon as she messages me, she expects me to reply to her and her problems.I want to help her and I do care about her but I feel she is using me, as she knows I'm gonna be there.I am here because I want to go out for drinks with her, I want to see her in person, I am still pining over her. Reluctantly she has a piece of my heart. My head knows I shouldn't care and should stay away but my heart My question is really, how do I message her and ask to meet without sounding desperate? I don't think I am desperate, I just probably feel rejected as I gave her so much of me. Rollercoaster ride but I wanna hang with her! Cheers Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 December 2015):
 Being friends with her won't help you move on. You've been making a little progress being alone for a month. If you hang with her you will keep pining on her. Part of the meeting face to face is to stop her from ignoring your messages. You want the old her back so bad. The act of asking someone out for a drink is not desperate but your reason behind it, is. She is not even being a good friend because in a friendship it's give and take, and she's being selfish. So there's no reason to hang with her. You would just get disappointed when you can see for yourself that it's one sided.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2015): I would call her and ask her to dinner. Talk about non relationship stuff and have a good date. Towards the end of dinner let her know how you feel.
But don't be too surprised if she's not interested in getting back together. She asked for space and now only contacts you when she needs advice. She hasn't mentioned your relationship and ignores you when you bring it up.
You don't sound desperate. You sound like a guy who wants an answer. You respected her wishes and gave her space. It's been a month and you want to know where you stand. You can't put your life on hold any longer.
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