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how do I determine if this guy is serious about me? Or is he just using me as a rebound?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, *elenabeauty writes:

i just want to know if I'm overreacting or not , okay so I've been talking to my ex lately again he reached out to me and honestly it's kike a cycle with him repeating over and over again.

Its like one minute he's all serious about being a relationship with me again and then we stop communicating because of him dissappearing ( for a couple months , the most was like 10 months)

Ive known him for years now since middle school days. We dated back in middle school but im too young to remember that long ago .

But I guess u can say hes trying to win me over again and get back to me ... The other night he made this comment that just added up to why he disappears all the time on me, Making a comment on how 10 months ago he was with this girl he was madly in love with but he broke her heart "and I just don't know whether to take this relationship anymore serious .

Idk if it's the age different he's 19 and I'm 20 . I do care for him and love him and we have a great bond overall but how do I know if this guy is serious about me or just using me as a rebound cause he's hurt about his ex helppp

View related questions: his ex, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is an ex for a reason. It didn't work out when you where younger and I doubt it would work between you both again. When he finds himself alone and no other girl that is interested in him, well then he picks up the phone and says all the right things to you so he can get some female attention. You make him feel good about himself, and that he is not alone. Does he want a relationship with you? No he wants someone to talk to and flirt with until the next girl comes along. Believe me honey if he was serious about you, he wouldn't keep disappearing he would fight to be with you. The age has nothing to do with it, because a year doesn't make much of a difference. Am sorry but I think you should move on and find someone who will make you number one.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think you know JUST how NOT serious he is.

If he WAS serious his actions would match his words. He wouldn't make these grand declarations and then vanish.

It might not be a rebound per se, but you MIGHT be the only girl he can "charm" himself back in the good graces with.

He is bored and lonely and YOU always provide him with the ego-rub he wants/needs. You temporarily makes him feel better about himself. Once you have given him said ego-rub he doesn't need you for a while - hence the silence that can last for months.

And the age difference? Nah, doesn't make a difference - the level of maturity though, that might. He might NOT really be able or ready for a serious relationship.

A guy is serious, when he ACTIONS speaks louder than words, but also when they MATCH the words, not contradict.

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