A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im going through a custody battle right now and I have court on friday so this whole time is quite stressful for me. Well my boyfriends been going out on weekends staying out all night and I dont know where he is. He keeps talking to is ex who he split up with a decade ago which really isn't making me feel very good. He wears her things he calls me her name he compares me to her saying they never argued etc. Yeah fair enough they are friends but comparing our relationship to one he had when he was very young a decade ago is a bit odd. He even bought her a wheelchair when she had an operation. So we've argued over her and I said if you know it hurts me you'd stop constantly texting her or talking on facebook but he recons I'm dictating who he can speak to. So I dropped it, it still winds me up but if he's her friend it shouldnt matter. Well he's just basically dumped me four days before court because men talk to me on facebook. yes my friends who are married comment on my statuses and he just went mental saying I advertise myself on facebook but asking if people are out over the weekend and things like that. Im going through a horrible time and he's acting like this. We used to get on incredibly well. He was the perfect boyfriend before then he moved in with me and has been acting like a single man. I dont know what to do or say to him. How can you tell someone theyre being unfair without it descending into a massive argument. I never come across well when I argue with him because I start to lose my temper. I know I should stay calm but its hard.
View related questions:
facebook, moved in, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): I didn't get divorced I was never married to their dad but we were together 8 years. I was left to pay the mortgage and all the bills when he ran off with another woman. He cheated on me a few times. I basically raised the kids by myself because he worked nights and Im very capable of looking after them they turned out really well. But because I was left in debt I ended up struggling to feed and clothe them so asked him to look after them for a short amount of time while I sfound a cheaper place to live.Well after a fortnight I got paid but he refused to give them back. Basically he knew he didnt have to pay maintenance he can get a council house now as he had a baby and got married to someone else. I am fit to look after them he's just greedy. No I admit it cant always be fun with this hanging over us but I am a positive person. Every week we have fun and we can sit there laughing and talking until the sun comes up... I had my kids young and have worked and never got much help from my ex. I see women who show off if they have a bad hair day or cant do as they please. Im not like that. He has said that he doesnt know how I can stay positive all the time so no I dont think it's as bad as you make out! But yes I do get bad days and get upset sometimes because Im himan. He cant handle that. Im an.incredibly bubbly person when I go out and he has a lot of fun with me. But I think Im just that. fun and nothing else.up.
A
female
reader, Joeyxxox +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Nora B is right, the custody battle is the most important thing right now.
You need to concentrate on you and not worry about this guy, he seems quite immature and hung up on his ex and comparing your relationships isn't fair.
A good boyfriend would be there for you at a time like this.
Spend some time with your family and friends, their the ones who will help you through this, not this guy who is treating you like this.
I wish you the best of luck at court and i hope it all works out for you, you deserve to be happy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): You must admit that you're not a ball of fun right now. Nor should you even be in a relationship at all, during this point in your life. You have a custody battle to contend with. I don't care how nice a guy is, who is going to be able to deal with all that tension; when it has nothing to do with them at all?You obviously had a bitter divorce, and an ex who feels you aren't a fit mother. So don't blame any man for not wanting to deal with your moods, the custody battle; or the hostility your ex is inflicting on you right now.All your time and emotional resources will be pushed to the limit. You will not be happy around men and they will not be happy around you. No relationship will survive the turmoil. This is too much drama, and it will drive anyone away. I'm not defending your boyfriend, he was a dick. You can't raise children living in that kind of situation.Sounds like you have a great deal of introspection to do. You have a failed marriage, a custody battle, and just got dumped by a jerk of a boyfriend. You haven't made a lot of great choices in your life. You need a lot of work.So concentrate on your child(ren) and yourself. Children deserve a stable and nurturing environment; and you need to show the court you are capable of providing that.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): I know they are the most important thing and I should of put that in my post really. Im more upset over that than anything but Im feeling lonely that he's not there for me and just needed a bit of advice. I think the only person you can count on is yourself :(
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (25 June 2013):
Right now the only thing to think about is your custody-battle this is the REAL important situation to be thinking aboout.Your ex-boyfriend did you a favour when he left you-he is not even a good friend when you need support at this trying time He is not even a friend to you He is outof order the way he treats u.Would you consider saying Goodbye to him for good and meet a guy who will respect,love only you and have regards for your feelings.Kind Wishes Nora B.
...............................
|
