A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am one of those young women who doesn't date much, I like to be really careful about who I let into my life, but when I decide to give my heart, I give it fully, and its hard for me to let go.Fairly recently, I fell for someone who became extremely important to me. He came as a complete shock to me, he was polite, he returned all my phonecalls, held the door for me, walked me to my door, and he relentlessly pursued me when at first I rejected him. When I finally let him get close things were wonderful. It was probably the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been a part of.He was extremely religious, and he let me know from the get-go that he wasn't after sex. And he really really listened to me. But one day he just stopped calling. I called him several times, and without a call back, I didn't know exactly what to do. I couldn't just keep calling. It's now been 2 months since I've heard from him. It's driving me crazy! I've never cried so much in my life. Here is where I should tell you that I'm only sixteen. While it's true that I'm young and I probably won't find the love of my life in high school, how do I find closure from such a wonderful thing when I don't even know what it is that ended it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (31 July 2008):
 Hi there, thank you for updating the situation. Yes, you
know and you deserved to know, perhaps he just left without telling you, to avoid any face to face confrontation. Or he didn't not want to know that he had hurt you, and wanted to avoid that. He could have been a little more considerate, but we are unable to control the actions of other people. This is a life experience for you, grow from it and try to learn that it is better to not put everything we have into a relationship, try to hold something back, just in case, it changes. One more thing, it has always been my belief, that as a woman, it is better if you try to like the person you are involved with, a little less than they like you. That way you are not always worrying about them, they will be worrying about you. Even if you like them better than they like you, do not let them know that. Save some of your emotional overtures on them, let them do the obvert caring
for you if you can. It's a little safer that way. Hope I made myself clear with what I said, Take care, and check in from time to time. Be good to yourself, and rememeber to be
you own very best friend. Oh yes, there will be a lot of very nice men who you will meet and who you will share great experiences with. You are a nice person, with a great future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've just found out that he's dating someone else and I'm pretty crushed.......but at least I know right?
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (10 July 2008):
Hi there, Thank you for answering. I am glad that the advice
was of some help to you. Always remember that you are stonger than you think you are. Believe in your self and let no one make you doubt. Take care always. Love and light back to you, nice person that you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank "Artistry" your words really boosted my self esteem. thank you.
Love and Light to you.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (8 July 2008):
Hi there, It will be kind of impossible for you to know what it was, that changed your relationship with him so completely, if he will not say what it was. But I would give it one last shot, if you do not have a problem with it. Find him, if you can and ask him politely to sit down and have a civil conversation, tell him that you decided to leave him alone, as you have, because if a person did not want to be with you, then you certainly would not want to be with him. Then you say to him, in a non-threatening way, that you would like him to do you, the courtesy of telling you, why he will no longer talk to you, that you feel you should at least know why, let him know that you are willing to let him go his way, you just want to end the relationship in a sensible way. Be prepared for him to say he'd rather not say, if this is the case, if he is at least a gentleman, you said he was religous, hopefully he will let you know the reason. It could be a rumor he heard, which you could dispell for him if he tells you, you could also ask him if that is the reason, you never know. Watch his eyes, because he may reveal something without meaning to, if you ask him that question. Go for it, now if he won't talk about it, let him go his way and put the whole thing in an invisable box, count it as a life experience and get on with the rest of your life, you will find another, better person to share things with, realize that he only seemed to be the best thing to happen to you, because you allowed those feelings to be. Once you realize the power of your mind over things, you will be able to reverse those thoughts by taking control. It is not the other person, so much controlling the feelings, it is you allowing the feelings to take over. You are the driver, grab the wheel and do what is best for you, stay out of places with pitfalls, drive to places where you will be happy, methaphorically speaking. Give yourself time to grieve, but only cry for so long, life is short and time is valuable. As I said, if he does not give you an answer, who would really, want to be with someone who does not want to be with them. Be your own best friend. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): u need to open up in a new and different way it is ur body saying iwant sex u should try it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): u need to open up in a new and different way it is ur body saying iwant sex u should try it
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