A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Rightio.I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and we've been having sex for half of that.But it's only really just dawned on me that I've never actually orgasmed over actual intercourse.. (purely by stimulation of my clit') ... it's never really crossed my mind until now. He'll finish but I won't - it's never really bothered me. But now it's kinda' playing on my mind.I just wanted to know, if it was me? haha...Thank you :) x
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female
reader, Gabrielle25  +, writes (24 December 2008):
Actually, this is VERY normal. I know a lot of girls who claim to have a lot of orgasms or very easy orgasms during sex, but when I admit to my girlfriends that I've never had an intercorse orgasm, you'd be surprised how many agree with me. In fact, its hard for me to have a clitoral orgasm during sex. I can do it all day long to myself, but with guys, its not easy for me. In fact, its only happened on 2 occasions with 2 guys. I was wondering if it was a problem with me. One friend told me that my use of vibrators causes me to 'lose sensation' which is also completely untrue. Your orgasms are caused by nerves and unless you kill those nerves, you can't 'lose sensation'. I've done some research on this because I felt like a freak. I mean, come on, I'm a 28 year old healthy girl who enjoys sex, but I've only orgasmed with 2 guys!
I've bought a few books on this subject, and it would seem a lot of the issues are control related. No matter how much you love your partner, some women find it hard to 'let go'. I've also read that a G-Spot orgasm, which is what you have from intercourse, can feel like a full bladder about to explode. I've had this sensation before and it kinda freaks me out because it feels like I'm about to pee on the guy, which is wierd and I think about it, make him change position and basically screw myself OUT of an orgasm.
I also know while having sex if its going to happen or not. I'm not sure how to explain it, but most women just know.
Its normal to be this way. I will also say that the worst thing you can do it fake it. I've done this before with previous boyfriends and it just makes them happy and they think they've pleasured you and if it ever gets very serious, you're screwed if you try to explain your problem to him because then you have to admit that you've been lying, etc, etc.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is let your partner know you can't get off that way or that you've never gotten off that way. He'll either accept it, or in most cases, he'll see it as a challenge, especially if he knows no one else has ever done it to you. My current guy is obsessed with trying to get it done for me. Its endearing and it makes for some GREAT attempts! He has yet to be frustrated about it and we have a great sex life regardless. I do enjoy the feeling from intercorse, but even if I've never 'reached the station', the ride is well worth it!
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