A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Unfortunately, I started to have feelings for the wrong person and I am very tormented. I'm a very realistic person and I don't like to see things that don't exist. At times, I would feel that he likes me by the way he looks at me and talk to me. At other times, I feel that he treats me like any other ordinary person and has no interest at all. Well, till now, I don't know if I've read into things too much. But I am suffering a lot because of this feeling and I want to stop loving him as I feel that it's non-reciprocated. I want to avoid him as far as possible so that I don't keep any false hope but the problem is that we work in the same building. I am ready to do everything to stop feeling this way for him and be free because it hurts me too much. Can you advice me what to do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear all. I thank u for your advice. Wiseowle u r absolutely right. I am blowing things out of proportion and tormenting myself for nothing. I am reading too much into his actions. We r not strangers as we r quite friendly
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): It might be better to say you have a "crush" on the guy. You may have fixated on him; because of his good looks or charming ways. "Love" is being used out of context here."Love" has to be reciprocated and acknowledged. You can't progress to that level all by yourself. It's called an "infatuation" until you get something back. You must read a lot a romance novels and watch soap operas. Building up so much emotion with nothing to build on is bordering on obsession.You are reading things into the least thing he does like a teenage girl. Get a grip! He may be picking up signals that you're a little off.Does your culture frown on a lady being bold enough to invite a man out for coffee?Don't just sit there obsessing. Find something to distract you until you pull it together. The man isn't into you, or he'd say something. Otherwise; he's just a polite stranger and you're being a little weird. He may already have a wife or girlfriend.Guessing yourself into a tizzy isn't making any sense. You're feeding on fantasy. Take a chance and just invite the guy to coffee. If you find that you can't help yourself, seek counseling.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (26 November 2013):
The best advice I can give is to stop waiting on the sidelines, gather some courage, and ask him out.
Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make a lot of sense when you haven't don't much to better the situation.
If he says no, then you can be sure, which will help you get over him.
Also, you're not in love with him...
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